Okay guys, we need to discuss Pokémon Go?!
Seriously, I literally just found out it was a thing like two days ago and already it has totally infiltrated my daily life.
I hear about it everywhere I go.
Sitting in the Wegman’s food court yesterday I overheard three separate Pokémon Go related conversations. People don’t talk about the Kardashians this much, people don’t talk about global warming this much, people don’t even talk about Donald freaking Trump this much!
It is insane.
And actually kind of awesome.
I feel like we are all witnessing a pop culture phenomenon that we will get to one day look back on and say we were a part of. So naturally, I had to be a part of it!
Like tons of other moms out there who are reaping the rewards of their newly found Pokémon Go life!
11 Things Moms Who Play Pokémon Go Know to Be True
Initially, you will be reluctant.
Because, Pokémon? Really? That dorky game all the awkward boys I went to middle school with were running around talking about in the 90s?! No thank you.
But, you will try it anyway, because everyone is trying it, and you will become obsessed.
I mean, I don’t know about you, but I like to win at things and finding the coolest, rarest Pokémon’s is no exception. And yeah, it bugs me a little when those little punks escape. Like I didn’t just spend all freaking weekend chasing him through a neighborhood I had no business in lie a creeper. Like he is real and can do what he wants. Like I’m not the boss of him. Garr.
You will try really hard to beat it.
You will Google “how to be better at Pokémon Go”. And “how to win battles in Pokémon Go” and, “everything you need to know about Pokémon Go.” Then you will excitedly convey the tips you gather to your kids when they come home from summer camp. And maybe text a few to your husband. And also, post about them on your blog. For example, did you guys know that you can level up and then join a team that then goes to fight members of other teams?! I will so meet you in the parking lot after school, for, um, a Pokémon battle.
You will get a ton of exercise, even though you don’t even like exercise, or being outside, or like moving at all.
How genius is this thing? I mean seriously, video game loving kids can play all day without anyone complaining about how lazy they are. And people who rarely lave their couch are getting involved in it too! Yesterday, The Dudes walked 4 miles (according to Dude 1’s Fit Bit) while I worked. And then, we came home from an activity and went on a walk again, the entire family, to see what we could find. Seriously, we haven’t done a family walk since Dude 3 was in a stroller!
You will likely experience some awkward moments.
For example, you may find yourself bringing it up at a play date or the PTA meeting. But only to explain why you were out front for 15 minutes messing with your phone only to come back inside a sweaty mess. And you will feel like a total dork about it. Because, seriously, now you can’t stop sweating and also, Pokémon. But, you may find another mom who is equally geeked out about it, and then you will know the Lord himself sent you this app so you could find your mom soul mate. And together you will start the #MomsforPokemonGo hashtag on Instagram to share your adventures. Feel free to get at that!
You may meet strangers.
I can’t tell you how many of my neighbors I’ve met thanks to Pokémon Go. It’s like bringing people together in this amazing, positive, fun way. But, crazy side note, you may also meet psychopathic killers. Remind your children to NOT talk to people they meet outside while playing this game. Never go up to a a man in a van who says he is chasing Flareon and he wants you to help him. Pokémon Go strangers are still strangers and some of them do sicko stuff that you don’t want your kids dealing with.
You may engage in a ridiculous amount of public dancing.
Deal with it children. Because I caught my first Spearow, I caught my first Spearow, uh, uh, I caught my first Spearow. Basically…
You will become suspicious.
Of literally every person looking at their phone in public everywhere. Someone driving badly? Playing Pokémon Go. Someone walks themselves into a pole while looking at their phone? Playing Pokémon Go. Someone walking aimlessly around the back of Target, phone in hand, no leather jacket or shifty eyes? Playing Pokémon Go. Naturally, pre-Pokémon Go I’d just say these people were weirdos, now I know better.
You will be oddly excited to go places you used to hate going.
Like work, and the gym, and to that one relative’s house who always judges you –they will all regain their appeal thanks to the opportunity to enjoy Pokémon Go elements in the area!
You may get injured.
I-fell-offa-the-curb-looking-for-an-Electabuzz and skinned my knee like a school girl is most common. But, be careful out there you guys. While Pokémon Go maps include fun things like libraries and cemeteries, they don’t depict the actual terrain. Or that you might walk into traffic, or fall down a flight of stairs. You have to actually watch where you are going while you play lest you suffer the consequences.
You will have loads of fun.
And it’s so awesome to do with your kids! We have scheduled all of these adventures around our county so we can go find more together. And those adventures include the teenager. Please tell me this isn’t the most awesome thing ever! My teenager, eager to hang out with the family and actually go places in public! Thank you, Pokémon Go, THANK YOU!