Dumb Mom’s Guide to Surviving the Day Your Computer Self Destructs and Leaves you to Battle Intense Heat and Stir Crazy Children Alone
This is a true story. None of the events described herein have been made up, embellished, or withheld for the purposes of making the story more intense, engaging, or true.
This is the E True Hollywood Story people.
My laptop decided to implode today.
I’m like 68% certain that there was a timer installed inside of it to ensure that within 45 days of the warranty expiring it would inform me that “failure is imminent” and my “hard drive will need to be replaced immediately to ensure system operation” (or something like that, as I can not be expected to recall the exact quote when I was freaking the hell out while reading these doomsday warnings).
Today is day 43.
My warranty expired on May 16, 2010.
And today, June 28, 2010, Laptop met his maker by taking his own life.
I’m not sure why Laptop decided to end things this way. He seemed so happy.
He had a life mission (
to keep me entertained to help me work) about which he seemed so passionate.
But, you know, people always wonder when things like this happen. You can’t help it, you know? Is it something I did? Were there signs? Why? WHY?! W-H-Y?!
I was informed that this occurred, in large part, because Laptop got “moved around” (despite the fact that I was continuing to freak the hell out while making this “support” call I recall this conversation perfectly and can tell you that this is, in fact, a direct quote).
Then perhaps it was me. Perhaps I did cause this. It actually was something I did. For future reference, Dumb Mom will remember to not move her laptop, despite the fact that it was purchased specifically because of its ease of portability. Dumb Mom promises to remember that moving her sweet baby laptop around is what caused him to have suicidal ideations that he chose to act upon while under the intense stress of rebooting. Dumb Mom never wants this to happen again.
Suicide hurts everyone, Laptop. EVERYONE.
Particularly The Dudes who suffered the wrath of a Dumb Mom scorned by her technological boyfriend.
Let’s just say Dumb Mom was tense (like crack head in jail without access to crack tense).
So, how exactly did Dumb Mom and her Dudes make it through the day computer free?
Allow me to use photos to demonstrate (because I like photos and they are much easier to manage with my shaky computer-withdraw hands)…
1. Today, to avoid the oppressive heat wave that is actually killing people (KILLING. PEOPLE.) we did something we rarely do at Casa de Dummies: Craftivities…
2. We also partook in a number of so-very-bad-for-you-but-oh-so-tasty Snacktivities…
3. A few of us took unexpected, extended naptivities…
4. And then we headed outdoors for some wettivities…
5. Followed closely by more of #2 (we sorta specialize in snacks)…
Looks like fun, right?
I thought so.
I mean, I actually had a pretty
not horrible awesome day avoiding the rain and trying to beat the heat inside with The Dudes.
I have to admit that not being able to check my email and respond to requests from work immediately was a bit liberating.
I’d be grateful for this forced unplugged day were it not for one thing…
The $364 laptop fix “tech support” (that was wholly unsupportive because I didn’t want to pay the “tech support” fee) quoted me provided I’d ever like to see my sweet one year old baby Laptop again.
Conversely, I could pay them $180 and they will kindly send me what I need to fix the bloody mother-effing-thing by installing a brand new not-to-be-moved hard drive myself.
Thinking I might just take my buddies over at Litl up on the sweet deal they are currently offering.
What, you’ve not heard of the cutest little webbooks on the planet?
Well, now you have (leave it to Dumb Mom to share all the coolest poop with you guys). And, I’m telling you that, if I could convince Dumb Dad, I would 100% get one of these for myself because they cost less ($299 with the discount code: http://litl.com/momdeal) than my laptop resurrection is supposed to.
Who know? Maybe Dumb Dad will be able to work a miracle.
Have a mom tip to share?
Be my guest…