My Summer Vow. Keeping it Haute.

At the beginning of every summer I have many high hopes.

High hopes for greatness.

Summer bridge activities for The Dudes.

Summer home organization projects for myself.

Summer fun vacation plans for the family.

This summer is no different.

Ours starts Friday so naturally I’ve made tons of loose definitive somewhat conceptualized firmly scheduled plans for the season.

I mean I kinda sorta know which of the fun Maryland family friendly activities we are planning to possibly try to enjoy.

So, when Mama Kat said something about sharing some over ambitious amount of your vows for the summer on this week’s edition of Writer’s Workshop, I figured  it would be easy.

Well, actually, my exact thoughts were, “I got this in the bag, biotches!”

Because yes, in my mind, pretty much every thought ends with the word biotches.

No reason, just ‘cause.

So here you have it.  Dumb Mom’s Summer 30: A Vow to Keep it Haute While it’s Hot

This summer I vow to…

1.  Not kill The Dudes.  Just can’t make a commitment on this one, so forget it.

2.  Lose 10lbs5lbs.  Not GAIN 10lbs.

3.  Run.  Amok.  I do enjoy jogging as a form of exercise just not when it’s a billion degrees outside.  So, my fancy new running shoes are on a summer sabbatical with plans to be reinstated when the sun is a wee bit further from the Earth.

4.  Watch something I love on TV.  Live. No pausing for loud mouth, always whining/crying/yelling/complaining people.  And, I’m not just talking about Dumb Dad, The Dudes do this stuff too.  Watching a 30 minute sitcom uninterrupted has been a personal goal of mine for quite some time.  This summer, it’s going down.

5.  Shower before noon.

6.  Be cooler.  This is an area I actually already excel in so I’m just planning to fine tune a few key areas of my cool (particularly in the blogging department).

7.  Learn how to Dougie.  I know what you’re thinking.  But, whatever.  You probably didn’t even know what it was until I linked to it for you, meaning I’m already pretty friggin’ cool.

8.  Take The Dudes somewhere they can run around without breaking anything that belongs to someone else or me.  I can’t stop them from breaking a leg; the ball’s in their court on that one.

9.  Wear my swimsuit.  Because going to the pool in my sweats is not working out like I’d planned.  Yesterday some annoying little child of Chucky kid inadvertently squirted me with his oversized super soaker water gun.  My sweats were wet for the duration of the trip which put me in a foul mood and made me look slightly ridiculous (yes, even more ridiculous than being in sweats at the pool made me look).  Not sure when they started letting kids bring water guns to the pool, but I hate them for it and think they should immediately go back to the no toys allowed policy that allowed me to stay mostly dry.  I don’t care it it’s less fun. 

10.  Read more.  Not blogs, silly.  Books.

11.  Blog better.  I don’t have the exact steps for this one laid out yet, but I’m working on it.  See my Profile of a Power Mom Blogger post to see what it’s like to really be awesome.

12.  Clean something.  Probably only gonna get to like one thing this summer.  I clean better in the winter.  When it’s cold.  And I need to work up some body heat to stay warm.  In the summer months I do better sitting under an umbrella at the lake, dozing off while other people make sure my kids don’t drown.

13.  Stalk someone awesome.  Online.  Real life stalking involves too much effort on my part.  Plus, it requires a level of sneakiness I can’t muster.  It’s hard to be clandestine with a team of monkey-donkeys following you every where you go, bucking and flinging poo.  Justin would hear me coming a mile away.

14.  Drink more water.  Literally just realized that, for the past two days, I haven’t had anything other than the newest Aquafina FlavorSplash* I received (which is Raspberry by the way and it’s really just as tasty as the Kiwi Strawberry one I told ya’ll about a couple of weeks ago.  I’m pushing the grape flavor off on #2 who would drink motor oil if you put it in a bottle with a screw on top, but I’m loving this one.).  I guess that’s better than having six Diet Coke’s, but still a little good ole fashioned aqua would probably really help me on the dieting front.

15.  Relax.  Yeahright.  But, it felt like the right thing to say.

And, I’m done.

I know Mama Kat suggested we make 30 summer vows, but I’m sure she was just kidding. 

I’m not sure I plan to do 30 things this year, let alone this summer.

I can’t over commit myself like that.

More is less.

I mean, less is more, or something someone important once said that validates my point and makes me look awesome.

Happy freakin’ summer people. 

Stay cool.

*For the one person wondering, Thank Me Later Thursday is gone for good.  It wasn’t working for any of us so I figured no one would really miss it.  Mom Tip Tuesday is soon to be going the way of the TMLT dinosaur.  I’m not dedicated enough to do this thing alone.  I’ll give it a coupla more weeks to catch on though, so if you like it and you wanna participate, now’s the chance!

*You should know this by now, but in case you don’t read my blog *gasp* the Aquafina FlavorSplash has been provided to me for free along with other promotional items.  As part of my arrangement with Mom  Central I will also receive a gift card at the conclusion of this promotion.  Don’t get jealous, I g;ad;y share some of the booty with you!


  1. says

    As that one person, I’m taking a moment of silence for Thank Me Later Thursdays.

    And I told you I don’t have any tips.
    And good luck on your vows. You vow, we move!

  2. says

    FWIW, I enjoyed reading your Thank Me Later Thursday posts, and I enjoy your Mom Tips too. I don’t participate because, unless you want tips on how to lazy your day away, keep your house filthy, and not feed your kids real food or learn how to decorate your walls in the lovely texture of poop, I don’t have any tips to share. Haha. I will miss them when they are gone though.

    • Dumb Mom says

      I’d like tips on any old thing you can give tips on. Even if you suck at stuff you can share with the rest of us exactly how NOT to. That’s what I do. Keep other people from sucking like me. It’d be selfish not to share all this experience with sucking I have wouldn’t it? But, you don’t have to worry about the Mom Tips. They aren’t going anywhere. Just the linky. It’s a pain to put it up and if I’m the only one participating, why bother? As long as you come to pBd every week and read them still I guess I’ll be happy!

  3. says

    Dude, you can totally stalk me. Not only do I have star factor, but my baby is going to be famous. First Dumb Mom’s photo contest, next, the WORLD.

    Does your husband like video games? If so, we can set our husbands up on a date, the Dudes can watch the Potato, and we can go out like civilized ladies. That’s my goal for the summer!

    • Dumb Mom says

      Does Dumb Dad like video games? Do birds have wings? Do bears crap in the forest? Does your mama dress you funny? Sorry, not sure how that last one slipped in there?! Anyway, point is that yes, he plays video games as hardcorely as I blog. Your husband can date my husband any time. But, we may need to get a babysitter b/c Dumb Dad can NOT be trusted when video games are involved and I’d hate to come back and find Potato tied to a chair, dressed as a girl, courtesy of The Dudes.

  4. When did I become my Mom says

    Lol you totally copped out! haha. Note my lack of 30 things… I couldn’t even commit to 1! :-)

  5. says

    Whoa, look at you and all your lofty goals….impressive. I’ve got one single goal divided into sub categories:

    Don’t suck.

    As a parent, wife, daughter, representative of the human race, blogger, photographer, or friend.

    Sure it seems simple. Oh it’s not so simple for me. I tend to suck, a lot.

    Fingers crossed this summer is better!

    BlogBaby’s BabyMama

    • Dumb Mom says

      As this is Dumb Mom’s year of Awesomeness I already took the Do Not Suck vow. It’s not working out so well, but it’s definitely in the back of my mind. That way, when I suck badly, I can feel even more guilty.

  6. says

    Oh, you are totally awesome. AWESOME! This list had me cracking up so hard that my husband thinks that I should take a break from my computer! You are seriously one funny lady! This has got to be one of the best lists I’ve read so far :)

    • Dumb Mom says

      Well thank you. And you tell your husband that if you didn’t read my blog you’d spend all that extra time engaging him in kid related conversation. I’m sure he’d be glad to recant that statement.

  7. says

    Love your list. ;) Running amok, cyber-stalking…sounds fun! Now you have me thinking about who I could stalk. My list could use one more item anyway.
    (Visiting from Mama Kat’s. Thanks for the comment!)

    • Dumb Mom says

      I can name at least 5 people you should stalk. I’ll tell you when I decide who it’s going to be for me for the summer. Wouldn’t want my choice to get overwhelmed. Stalker avoiding is hard work!

  8. says

    more does definitely mean less!!! love it—and you are absolutely super cool—will you teach me to dougie once you have learned! I dont think I learned those moves in Zumba class!

    • Dumb Mom says

      No, the Dougie is not Zumba ready. I will teach you how to Dougie if you teach me how to not getting sweaty-palmed and nervous in a crowd of people cooler, cuter, and smarter than me. Deal?!

  9. Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation says

    Yeah, let me know how that shower before noon works out for you. I have found that totally. and. completely. impossible. And that cleaning in the winter- so agree with that. It is way too f*&%ing in the summer to clean.

    • Dumb Mom says

      Secret. I don’t clean. Ever. And showering? Occasionally at best. That’s why I try to do a lot of body fresh making product reviews. Masks the odor a bit:)

  10. says

    Where in the world did you find that video? I was laughing hysterically and now i have the stupid song stuck in my head!

    • Dumb Mom says

      Dude. I’m friggin’ cool like that. When I’m not working, blogging, or doing my children’s bidding I’m watching videos of cooler than me people on the Internet. Plus I like rap music, so yeah, Teach Me How to Dougie is sorta made for me.

  11. says

    Waaaahhhhh … I am so UNcool that I just watched a 4 minute 2 second video and I STILL have no idea what the “Dougie” is. D.M. – you are officially WAY FREAKING COOLER than me.

    • Dumb Mom says

      Not 100% sure myself, but figure if I take my Dumb Mom Teaches you How to Dougie show on the road, many of my clients won’t know the truth and I’ll be a Dougie-dancing-mom-blogging sensation. I’m desperate for a niche aren’t I?

  12. Dominique says

    We don’t get summer vacations here as it is the tropics ( summer like weather whole year around) . Thanks for stopping by.. hope you get some items crossed off your list by the end of summer.

  13. says

    Part of my is looking forward to summer ( our kids don’t get out until June 25) and part of me is freakin’ terrified. The little evil one makes me crazy all day long and then when the older one gets off the bus, the fun really begins. They fuss, fight, tattle and make me insane for the four hours before they go to bed. I don’t know if I can do that all day!

    • Dumb Mom says

      We struggle with the first two weeks. It’s like my personal purgatory. But, after that, when we all get into the grove of things it gets better. Heaven like in fact. And then I actually dread the school year starting again. I try to keep that in mind those first two weeks when I go to bed crying and twitching each night.

    • Dumb Mom says

      I’ll be doing that too, but if I don’t say it out loud it won’t piss me off as much. Never mind, that’s not actually true.

  14. says

    Okay…uh. What kind of Type A has 30 things on their Summer list unless 7 of them are “Take a nap”? It seems that your list is totally complete although, I have already cleaned something for this quarter.

  15. says

    I am going to attempt the not gain 10 lbs thing as well! Let’s see if THAT happens! I thought about blogging about some sort of like weight loss, but jeeze then I literally have to be held accountable for it huh?

    Yeah….forget about it!