Wordful Wednesday. The Runaways.

Sometimes my kids hate me.

At least that’s what they say.

But, they never seem to be doing it for any legitimate reason; at least none of the reasons I think they are justified in hating me (I have a list if you’d like some examples).

They usually hate me for some silly, self absorbed, childish reason (like that I don’t let them eat two candies, a cookie, and a popsicle for dinner), so it doesn’t bother me.

Don’t get me wrong.  Hearing your baby yell, “YOU DA MEANEST MOMMY EVER. EEEEVEEEER. AN I DON’T WAN CHU HERE ANY MORE EVER!” does sting a little. 

At least the first couple of times.

But then it doesn’t anymore and instead of caring, you start to do what you do with everything else that sucks in your life that you can’t change: think of a creative way to deal with it that will make you laugh even if it makes someone else cry.

What?

You don’t do that?

Well whatever, I do.

So when my kids start telling me that they hate me because I’m mean and old and mean and, um, mean (they are really smart, they just aren’t that creative in the vocabulary department when they are busy hating me) and they just want to run away ‘cause I’m so mean, know what I do?

I drag them to the abandoned railroad near our house and kick them right out of my car.

Then, I jump in the bushes and pretend that I’m gone for good and watch and laugh as they run around in a panic looking for me and screaming for me not to leave them (‘cause they know I’m borderline crazy like that).

Totally kidding!

I would never do that.

I don’t get in bushes, there are SPIDERS in bushes.

I just think about doing stuff like this, but I don’t because I’d be even more pissed when they didn’t even bother to notice I was gone I don’t want to scare them.

Funny thing is, they actually make being a runaway look pretty cute…

And fun…

And kinda awesome…

Dang criminal-mastermind-evil-genius-smarty-pants kids.

They probably would be happier if I let them run away.

They wouldn’t have to deal with my gut wrenching tuna casseroles (I know, gag.  I couldn’t even eat it myself.  I’m convinced that the person who invented that crap was an evil, ugly human) or being embarrassed by my hideous singing voice (although, in my defense, I didn’t know they had their judgmental little friends in the yard or that they were all standing outside of my kitchen window.  I was into the stupid song, okay? Lady Gaga is the shiz.).

If I let them runaway they could just enjoy the great outdoors, and the freedom, and the biting insects, and the police encounters, and the hunger pains, and the various antibiotic resistant diseases they are certain to contract without my constant intervention.

Best to stay here with me, even if I am a dumb ole meanie.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments

  1. its make me so happy

  2. You truly have the most adorable boys!

  3. Awesome pics!! I wouldn’t get in the bushes either.
    Spiders *shiver*

  4. Cool pictures! Yes, they def. make it look cute!

  5. And don’t forget having to wipe their butts with leaves and such…haha.

    When I threatened to runaway, Mom always said, “Don’t forget your toothbrush! Would you like me to help you pack?!” LOL

  6. You may be a dumb old meanie, but I love it! You crack me up every. single. time. I come here. And…I swear we must be related, not just because we’ve both received the gift of humor but because we seem to think alike. lol Anyhow…gorgeous photos! I especially like the last one. I’m thinking maybe I need to drag my kids kids down to the railroad tracks. Though I’d be tempted to really leave them. lol
    Thanks for stopping by and linking up. From one Dumb Mom to the other, have a great evening!

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

  7. That first picture just melts my heart! Great job with those pics! And tuna casserole? Blech!

  8. I’m your newest follower at BlogLovin. I’m sure your kids are happy staying right where they are. But LOVE the fantasy. I let myself indulge.

  9. Beautiful pictures! You are a great photographer!
    I am now following! Please follow me back at:
    http://mommyhoodnextright.blogspot.com
    -Jessica a.k.a Nya’s mom

  10. LOVED this post!
    Awesome photos!

  11. I hate spiders too! lol

    Such beautiful photos. I love the one of them walking along holding hands. Just precious!

    • Dumb Mom says:

      Thanks, Genny. I forced them. You can hardly tell, huh?! Totally kidding. They are so trained in the art of picture taking that they naturally just grabbed hands because subliminally they knew I’d want them to. Plus they were having on of their rare love each other days.

  12. those pictures turned out great! Awesome job!

  13. Those are some really beautiful pictures (and kids!) Don’t worry, I’m a dumb ol’ meanie sometimes too!

    I’m stopping by from A Beautiful Mess. Have a great week!

    Sam
    Mom.Undecided.
    http://momundecided.blogspot.com/

    Come check out my WW Linky Party!

  14. Great pics!! And hilarious story as always :)

  15. Those are awful cute runaways. Why do you think it is harder to get good pics of my big kids? They are too posey, but is it because they are 13 or because they haven’t had their pic taken enough to stay relaxed?

    • Dumb Mom says:

      Probably a little of both. Older kids and grown ups are too aware of themselves. Kids are easier to photograph beautifully because their innocence is so readily available to the camera. They couldn’t control it even if they knew they should or could. Once that’s gone, it’s gone and then all kinds of body awareness issues get in the way. Sad, but true. You were probably looking for a rhetorical answer, right? Not today my friend. Dropping knowledge bombs on ya:)!

  16. Awesome pics! Your guys are adorable. Love those curls!

  17. All of those pictures are FANTASTIC, and I love the story that goes with them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about pulling over and letting my big one out of the car on the side of the road and driving off just to teach her a lesson. Of course I would NEVER do it because of the danger. But if only it wasn’t so dangerous….

    • Dumb Mom says:

      The list of things I would do were it not for fear of danger, fear of being arrested, and/or fear of badly injuring myself or someone I like is shamefully long. Well, maybe not shamefully, since you know, I don;t have that. But, it’s pretty dang long.

  18. Gorgeous! I can’t get over the shirtless overalls. Can I steal him for a day or two?

  19. Those are some awesome photos!! My 5yo’s idea of running away is going out our door and staying in the elevator hallway. And he doesn’t pack anything. Hmm.

  20. I feel like I should be seeing those in a gallery. Amazing!

  21. I’m literally laughing out loud from you saying your gonna hide in the bushes, that’s totally something I’d do just to throw off my kids, hey us parents gotta find some way to get em back from time to time. ;)

    Your kids are such darlings but you already knew that. They’re just too cute :)

    • Dumb Mom says:

      Thanks! And I totally do that at Target when they wonder off after I’ve told them not to for like the 600th time. They never learn their lesson though so I guess I sorta just do it for fun:)

  22. Wow. That’s some gorgeous scenery. Kids too. These are fantastic!

  23. Absolutely breathtaking pics. Bravo. Drop by and link up.

  24. Are you entering these in the “I heart Faces” challenge this week?!?!?! Cuz you totally should! LOVE THESE PICS!

    (and I’m sure they’d miss you enventually…I mean, they WILL get hungry sometime ;)

    • Dumb Mom says:

      Thanks! I can never do the i heart faces thing. 2 reasons: 1, I almost always forget and, 2, I’m too indecisive to add just one picture. I’ll try to remember next week, though!

  25. Those are fantastic shots!
    I adore your writing! Always have! You had me laughing my ass off on this one.
    Too bad your kids are too cute to pass as criminals.

  26. beautiful pics and can I borrow those runaways ??

    • Dumb Mom says:

      Definitely runaway #2 and possibly runaway #3, depends on the day of the week.

  27. WOW – those photos are AMAZING! Great idea too – I need to find some old rr tracks!

  28. Those pictures are amazing. They are the cutest runaways – ever! And I’m with on the spiders in the bushes. Can’t hide there.

    • Dumb Mom says:

      Thanks! I hate spiders. There is a time of the year where I don’t even step foot in my basement because of the things. Gets me outta doing laundry for a few weeks too. It really is the spiders though and not the laundry that keeps me from going down then. Swear.