This feels weird.
Typing a post on my own couch while
making every attempt to completely ignore my children The Dudes climb all over me and ask me strange questions about my trip (#2 wants to know if anyone saw my undies while I was away. What the?!).
I’m home from NYC and I think I might miss it a little.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so super happy to be able to sniff my little people’s necks in the morning (it’s a sweet, pungent smell that makes me want to lick them and puke on them all at once). But, it’s a hard adjustment.
While I was away, getting all done up by the notorious style experts, I was completely taken care of. I didn’t have to hear anyone screaming (not at me anyway). I didn’t have to clean up messes. And no one was complaining about their food, or their clothing, or getting up, or going to bed, or wearing underwear or brushing their teeth or combing their hair or, um, me.
No needy people who needed things that only I am qualified to take care of.
Heck, when I was filming the show, I didn’t even have to take care of myself!
Dumb Mom was hungry?
Food appeared. Magically. I guess the food fairies brought it. But, not the same ones who work here.
Dumb Mom was thirsty?
Water (or soda, or juice, or whatever). Outta nowhere. Perfectly chilled and ready to drink.
Tired? Well, no one really cared if I was tired, but they’d bring me coffee (a fancy little latte even) if it happened.
It was amazing.
Easy to get used to and amazing.
But, at the end of the week I was still exhausted. And sad. And lonely. And missing my smelly, demanding, whining-crying-complaining-but-best-dang-huggers-this-side-of-the-Mason-Dixon little Dudes.
And, Dumb Dad.
Totally missed him too.
But enough about my awesome NYC makeover and week long TV show filming experience
I plan to bore you with it all week anyway things were happening at Casa de Dummies too, even if I wasn’t here to micromanage witness them personally.
While I was away living it up like a friggin’ rockstar (don’t worry the bragging should subside in say, two to three days or so)…
- #2 learned about the Abdominal Snowman. Hilarious, right?! The Abdominal Snowman. That’ so cute I don’t even bother to correct him!
- #3 grew at least an inch. I mean, I’m just eyeballing it, but seriously, the kid looks like a friggin’ teenager he’s so tall. What NOT to Wear if you’re #3? Anything you were wearing a week ago! All of his 4T pants are nearly too short. And, let me just remind everyone, he’s TWO!
- The Dudes survived. I tell myself just barely, but I think I might be exaggerating
entirelyjust teeny little bit.
- Disney Social Media Moms registration came and went. All I will say is that whole thing… C-R-A-Z-Y with a side of Crazy Sauce. And, it’s like not even over! People are like pissed about it. Weird, right?!
- We booked a winter weekend away! That’s right, peeps. The Dummies are hitting the road again courtesy of Great Wolf Lodge, Williamsburg.* We’re driving down to the resort (they have an indoor water park) on Friday to enjoy Snowland (part of their holiday festivities involving indoor snow!) and take in a concert by Highway 101. So much fun! Except for if #1’s carsickness kicks in and he pukes the car again. Not driving three hours smelling like decaying meat. Been there. Done that.
Anyway, I’m home now and I’m ready to get back in the swing of things.
But, just to make sure, #2 accidentally-on-purpose knocked #3 down the stairs, causing him to get a nasty little bruise on his forehead on the exact day of my return (he actually lost his balance and #3 broke his fall).
Welcome home, Mommy.
At least I look pretty dang swanky breaking up fights and wrangling Dudes now.
That’s gotta count for something, right?!
And, the Dude inspired compliments!
#3 says I’m, “De bess Mommy eber,” and that I “wook wike a pitty pincess in my wed dress!” and he gave me a pretty sweet smile to prove it…
And, #1 and #2 were all big smiles too…
You know, before the face punching started back up.
Back in the saddle peeps.
Have a bright smile of your own to share?
Be sure to enter the Bright Smiles, Bright Holidays Photo Contest sponsored by Invisalign Teen! Your favorite, holiday brightening smiles could win you a $250 Amazon gift card just in time for holiday shopping!
*pBd Admits it’s Free: Not sure why I’m still saying this but, when I say fancy words like “courtesy of…”, “on behalf of…”, “thanks to…” and the like, it means I didn’t/won’t/can’t/wouldn’t/couldn’t pay for the item/event in question. I accept various items/events free of charge because I want to. I then say what I think about them in my own words. They don’t pay me to be nice, people, they just pay me to show up.