Dude Mom Life. The Creepy Quiet.

It’s Monday again and in an effort to stay sorta kinda predictable around here while still being interesting, we’re gonna talk Dude Mom Life.

And, thanks to Parenting…SMH we have the perfect photo…

Dude Mom life is learning there is such a thing as too quiet.

Yes, there is a such thing as too quiet. 

I have to admit though that, at Casa de Dummies, when the creepy quiet falls on the house and I know I should go investigate lest someone have painted themselves with Vaseline and rolled, butt naked, all over my couch and curtains (yes, I speak from experience), most times I still can’t bring myself to do it.

I don’t know if I’m so desperate to trust that my children can be left to play together independently for more than 2 seconds without chaos and evil showing up, or if I’m just a glutton for punishment.

Or, perhaps it’s simply that I am so starved for me time that I am willing to risk chaos and invite evil just to have a few precious moments to eat my cupcakes in the garage in peace myself to have a think with.

Either way, Parenting…SMH, I’ve been there girl. 

And, no, it doesn’t get better with age.  They just gets more inventive is all.

So be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Have a creepy quiet chaos story of your own to share?  Have at it in the comment section.

I’d love to know that I’m not the only mama to a child who has glitter glued his palms and touched all over his bedroom with them!

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Comments

  1. My oldest, when he was 2, decided to empty a Costco sized bottle of baby powder all over my living room including carpets, tv, couch, coffee table, curtains, and my husband’s work laptop…took forever to vacuum!!

  2. Melissa says:

    It is terrible, but I’ve had the poop, the marker, the pen, the crayon, everything on couches, cribs, walls, carpets, library books, ugggh! My all-time least favorite I’ve-been-hiding-in-the-bedroom-on-the-phone times are when they take ALL the stuffing out of the couch cushions and I have to dig it out of baby girl’s mouth and try to get the shape back in them… My couch looks terrible after re-stuffing like 8 times!

  3. FYI, the dudettes do this very same thing.

    And, I had to get Vaseline out of hair! Yeah, that was fun. She looked like a grease monkey for days! Then, I discovered using cornstarch, and she looked like Einstein, but it worked!

  4. Quiet Desperation Story #2,567 of the Mambo House:

    When the policeman rang the doorbell I was sure hubs was in a horrific accident and they were coming to get me to claim the body. It was pouring out. The kids had been playing so nicely all evening and were now watching cartoons in the living room.

    Then, as the cop asked the question of the evening, I flashed back to the moment 45mins earlier where I sent Twin B to stop the midget triplet from playing with the phone in the back bedroom. Which he did and perfect silence had ensued.

    Unaturally. Like a horror movie just before the pretty virgin gets whacked!

    “Ma’am, did you call 911?” he asked.

    Sure took him long enough. I told Twin B he should have called CPS instead.

  5. Creepy quiet in a house with some dudes and a few dudettes thrown in….. the dudes are likely throwing a hard lacrosse ball at each other in the house and trying not to be the first to cry when it hits them hard in the head…. ‘cuz a lacrosse ball is practically made of lead with a slight rubber coating…. and the dudettes have snuck into Mommy’s bathroom, locked the door, and are having a field day applying my makeup all over their bods and checking out my none-to-cheap hair products.

    And why is it still quiet? ‘Cuz Mom’s in the kitchen sipping her chardonnay and pretending it really isn’t happening…. because the doesn’t want to have to clean up the mess….. or worse- try to get them to do it!

  6. LOL. Yes, my husband fell asleep on the couch with his box of fruit punch juice on the floor. Monkey man was asleep so I didnt care (usually I make a comment or 50 about the thing needing to be moved).

    Well, monkey man woke up and I did my dutiful duty of getting him. Of course totally forgetting about the box of juice on the floor. A few mins later, I was tweeting on the couch while monkey was running around playing. At one point he got really quiet and turned his back towards me. I thought something was weird but ignored it. 2 mins later I see what he was doing…finally.

    Yup. Nice fruit punch all over my beige carpet. And now you tell me it doesnt get easier? Holy crap batman…

    Check me out!! I’m back…yes against drs orders but I cant stay away.

  7. Poop. Everywhere. That’s all I’ll divulge lest you lose your lunch. ;)

  8. Quiet usually equals something very, very bad in my house.

  9. Oh Oh and scribbling all over her brand new furniture with crayons! Did I mention that furniture is WHITE! Could’a killed her for that one. Luckily I have clorox wipes at my house that clean just about anything she can mess up!

  10. Oh gosh there have been so many times where it’s been “too quiet”. One time I found my 3 year old daughter with a sharpie marker (my nemesis!) coloring all over the window in my bedroom. THE WINDOW!!!!! I got it off the window but it’s all over the walls surrounding the window still. Another time I found her coloring all over herself with a sharpie (my nemesis strikes again!) She was lucky she didn’t get any on her clothes that time, can’t say the same for the other 40 times I’ve caught her doing that.

  11. See, y’all are young enough that you haven’t had actual disasters. Eventually, you will sit at the computer(we are being honest, right?) and think,”Could they possibly be doing anything worse than [previously dealt with super disaster]?” Then you will answer yourself, “Nope.” And happily continue on with what you were doing.

    Every home should be equipped with a fire extinguisher.

  12. Unfortunately this is not just limited to dudes. I’ve had quiet a few creepy quiet messes at my house. And I’m the same as you. I still tend to sit and ignore whenever the creepy quiet descends. I’m holding out hope that one of those times I’ll go to check and find them quietly playing, reading or napping.

  13. I was cleaning up in the basement with my then-two-year-old. I went upstairs to grab the phone. In the time it took me to answer it and carry it back downstairs to continue the conversation he’d stripped off his clothes and his diaper (which was now full of nice fresh poop), smooshed a billiard ball in the poop, and begun to roll it enthusiastically across the pool table. My husband’s VERY NICE pool table. FYI, the best way to get poop off a good felt pool table is to use fantastic and flour-sack towels: blot, don’t rub. You’re welcome.

  14. I can totally identify with the creepy silence. My son is only 2.5, and plays by himself at times…and he gets into more mischief than I could have ever imagined. I can’t even begin to fathom what it will be like when we have a second child and they can play together.

  15. Yes, little man was about 2 and it was Christmas Eve. We were getting ready to go to my MIL for the holidays, and he was playing “quietly” while I packed the goodies for the trip. Went to check on him and saw black crayon scribbling on the wall up the stairs to see him in the hall impersonating Picasso.

  16. My daughter climbed on the counter and got a bag of flour and dumped it on the floor. She stripped naked and rolled in it. When I ask her what she was doing she said she was making flour angels. In her defense, we had made snow angels the day before but we weren’t butt naked.

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  1. [...] s1.parentNode.insertBefore(s, s1); })(); A few days back I saw a post at Parenting for Dummies about the creepy quiet that suddenly falls upon homes with dudes. It is well known that boys are [...]