Best of 2011 in Life and Blog.

I’m doing one of those totally cliché it’s-the-end-of-the-year-so-let’s-look-back-and-countdown-the-awesomeness lists for you guys.

Why am I doing this you ask?

Couple of reasons.

One, I need to add some more numbered lists and likely-to-be-searched-for-by-normal-people topics to this blog for SEO purposes.  It is my desire to employ all forms of trickery to get people to come here by mistake in order to boost my numbers.  If you would read daily and tell all of your pals about me, I wouldn’t need to resort to such.  You fail me readers, so this.

Two, I want to.

Good enough for you?!

Top 11 Dumb Mom Discoveries of 2011

1.  A&E.  I vaguely recall hearing about this network sometime in the late 90s.  But, thanks to my rapidly declining taste in television programming and my increasing age, A&E and I have gotten reacquainted recently.  Well, only on Tuesday nights and other days they decide to play marathons of Storage Wars.  I flippin’ LOVE that show.

2.  The Khardashians.  As a self-proclaimed smut TV watcher, I will admit to watching my fair share of stuff that pretty much only gorillas like (yeah, I’m talking about Flavor of Love).  I’ve got nothing against them (no one can annoy me more than those housewives in Atlanta), but, even I am flabbergasted at the number of people who enjoy and find interest in the Khardashians (they have more than one hour a week dedicated to their shenanigans).  Even our own president knows who they are!  And, not you too Barbara Walters?!  Clearly you are senile have fallen victim to Kim’s good looks.

3.  NASA was still doing the whole space shuttle thing?  Only, now they’re not anymore.  Personally, I figured they’d retired the entire space exploring fleet of astronauts or whatever when people sorta got over hating Russia, but apparently no?  I mean, once they sent a monkey to space I naturally assumed  we were over that whole humans-on-the-moon thing.  Apparently not.  But, now we are.  For real.

4.  People don’t watch soap operas anymore.  Not the good ones anyway.  After a bunch of years (Google it if you need to know) Erica Kane is no longer marrying her daughter’s husbands.  It’s a sick world we live in when there is no room for Erica Kane.

5.  Mayer Hawthorne.  I appreciate when a white dude is cool enough to pull off R&B just like I appreciate the unexpected, but totally fitting, curse word thrown into a song about love.  My boy Mayer covers both.

6.   Charlie Sheen is hilarious.  Possibly annoying.  Definitely insane.  And all the way freaking funny.  I say that’s winning.  Or should I say, “bi-winning”?!

7.  It’s totally cool for a 16 year old girl to marry a 50-something year old man.  Totally.  No one cares if it makes you wanna gag.

8.  Sax solos are NOT dead after all.  Matter of fact, they may be just what a song needs to up its awesome.  Seriously, Katy Perry smashed this year with her jams.  I don’t think it had anything to do with Kanye and his appearance on her remix.  I think it was the other one.  With the sax solo.  That’s what changed the game for KP.  I dabbled in sax for a bit; I’m thinking I need to pick that bad boy back up.

9.  Katy Perry also helped me discover that this is what people think “looking pregnant” looks like.  To me this is “looking like you had a good lunch at Macaroni Grill”.  This, friends, is “looking pregnant” (at a mere 6 months gestation!)…

pregnant1

You know, if you’re a regular human growing a big ole baby and stuff.

10.  Dogs will do your bidding.  If there is food involved, a moderate amount of love, and none of the bullcrap from the saddest TV commercial in the world featuring that Sarah McLaughlin song that makes you want to cry so hard you puke out your nose.  They will wear jerseys and tutus and let your small children explore their nether regions with pointy objects and fingers.

dog in skirt

That’s what being a part of a family is about anyway, right?  Sacrifice.

11.  I’m chubby because I eat crap.  I just realized that I’ve spent right around $500 this year at McDonald’s alone.  Not because my kids like it; because I like it.  And, not because I get salads or anything even remotely good for me when I go.  I like a Mango Pineapple Smoothie with a medium fries on the side, thank you very much!  But, if I would take the $500 bucks, and instead buy some more fresh fruit and veggies and maybe even that new pair of ballet flats I’ve had my eye on, I might actually be happier!  Definitely healthier.  Hopefully even cuter and thinner too!  And maybe, just maybe, this healthier-cuter-happier lifestyle might rub off on The Dudes a bit.  So, I’m making a change people.  I’m vowing to stay our of Mickey Ds (and every other fast food establishment) for the duration of January (and hopefully longer, but let’s not get crazy).  And, just to up the awesome on this whole thing, I’m going to cook at home!  Like a regular human.  Of course I will be sharing my 30 Days of Home Cooked Happiness with you guys here (while I also lose weight, get organized, and learn to make my own jewelry because I’m a crazy person who clearly enjoys torturing herself by not sleeping ever).  You can also keep up with my trying-to-be-healthier-and-more-awesome-overall in the Horizon Healthy Families Community on Blog Frog.

Made any awesome discoveries of your own in 2011?

Or, maybe you just wrote a seriously awesome blog post this year that didn’t get the play you know it deserved?  Let me help you with that!

Link up your Best of 2011 posts here, I’ll pop over and read ‘em (since I’m on break from now until 2012) and share them with my pals!

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Comments

  1. Thank goodness that McD doesn’t serve Mango Pineapple Smoothies here or I’m doomed.

    Have a wonderful 2012!

  2. So I had scrolled down just past Dumb Dog’s head and Big Girl says, “wait! I want to see that girl in the dress.” And then we had a very good mother, daughter laugh at your daug (get it) in a tutu and 49’s jersey.

  3. Thanks for hosting!

  4. Taylor @ Goings on in Texas... says:

    Happy New Year!!

  5. So I just had my first McDonalds meal in I cannot tell you how many years yesterday. My exhubby eats at McD’s basically every morning, and my daughter gets lunch there at least once a weekend when she is with him–but I will admit, those chicken nuggets…yum. And the Atlanta Housewives–agreed–although everytime I watch NJersey, I feel the same way. seriously? Do they really live like that? :) Hugs to you!!!

  6. It was awesome getting to walk around part of the BlogHer convention hall with you.
    And a pair of ballet flats make me feel great too (although my vice is a SoCal chain called Bakers).
    Here’s to an ever greater 2012!

  7. People got over hating Russia? Good to know.
    #8 I read as SEX solos which frankly was a bit disturbing.
    And #11? I hear you girl, I hear you.

  8. Pregnant? What about being a grown woman in an unflattering gown? If she wore something that didn’t show that, the press would rag on her for being out of style.

    Enough with the Khardashians…SEO or not.

    My children tell people about your blog.

  9. OMG!! I cannot stand the Atlanta Housewives either (or the Kardashions for that matter) Did you know that Atlants is the most watched of the Housewives franchise?!?! I just don’t get it!

  10. I love cliche year-end lists. And I love your #1. A&E is the SHIZ! We’re addicted to Intervention and Hoarders. Terrible, yet awesome television. Can’t wait to see what you cook up next month! Happy New Year!

  11. Great list! You have inspired me to cut out fast food…but I’m only committing to the first 2 weeks of the year. We’ll see how it goes after that…LOL!

  12. YAY for best of 2011 posts!! thanks for hosting this linky!!

  13. Oh your dog. So awesome. As was your year. :)

    And I’m cheering you on to wean yourself off of Mickey D’s. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

    Happy New Year, my friend. SO glad I got to meet you and hug you in 2011. Maybe this year too… :D

  14. Fast food is my weakness.

    I can only go so long without having fries from McDonald’s or a burger from Wendy’s.

    May the force be with you!

  15. Great list, my husband is now also hooked on Storage Wars. While I a awaiting the return of Breakout Kings. I am with you on avoiding fast food places as long as possible. It help that I will be fasting the first part of January, all fruits and veggies for me. Can’t wait to see what the new year brings.

  16. hilarious!

  17. That was hilarious, mama. I love your wit and sense of humor at stating the obvious. You crack me up!

    I shared a collection of my favorite posts and photos for2011, but yours is so much more funny, creative and informative. I had no idea lists help with SEO. Good to know! lol

  18. That dog pic cracks me up!

    The pregnancy rumors for celebs make me laugh. They aren’t completely sucking it all in or they actually ate that day- and ooooh, pregnancy rumor.

  19. leah aka FFPMaMMa says:

    Great “best of” list to end 2011 on. Not just you year in blog summary, but funny discoveries…well funny to us! Am gettin to work on my end of the year post, but since I have not yet been blogging for a year yet, thought I would do a summary of photos for each month. Will see how it turns out. Thanks for the opp to link up though. Always appreciate you doing that, esp for us newbies!

  20. I’ve posted a best of list too :) Thanks for hosting this!

  21. I’m giggling b/c I like a very berry smoothie w/a large fry. What? But, I must admit that it irks me that they stopped (yes, years ago! I’m bitter) frying the apple pies.

    So glad to have connected w/you this year. 2012 is going to be so awesome!

  22. 11. I’m chubby because I eat crap. (MY FAV!)

    I’m with you girl. I am trying to be kind and loving to myself, including my body. As I lean into what feel loving and kind I notice I make better choices, one day at a time. McDonalds is so easy and convenient. But every time I go there I am filled with regret, followed by an impulse to go again. What is that? Must be the chemicals added. Crazy. Good luck to you in 2012!

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