I had my identity stolen once.
Not stolen like someone was walking around impersonating me Nicholas-Cage-in-Face-Off-style.
I mean like, someone signed up for an online dating site and bought a gentleman’s collection of gay porn using my ATM card number.
It was scary, an infuriating, and super confusing.
I was largely pregnant and had stopped by the grocery store, youngster on hip, to buy a massive amount of chocolate few necessities. When I got up to the cashier, my card was declined.
I know I have money for chocolate, yo. Quit your playing!
Only, as I stood there sweating like I really was trying to steal something, I realized I didn’t actually have money for chocolate.
But why? Where did my chocolate money go to?!
I dug some dirty spare change outta the bottom of my diaper bag, snatched my candy necessities, and high tailed it from the store, vowing to go to the cross town one from now on.
I freaked the freak out the entire way home.
And then, when I got in and jumped online to investigate, I freaked the freak out even more because, whoa! I don’t want people to think I’m cheating on my husband with a chick! Or have to pay a $500 bill for something I didn’t even get to enjoy! Or not get my daily dose of chocolate!
I immediately called the bank and the gay porn company (they didn’t answer) and my mommy.
I cried super hard.
And, when I finally stopped my blubbering about how I didn’t even like gay porn, or any kind of porn really, they told me to get-a-grip-already because they would kindly remove the charges since it was clearly an uncharacteristic charging pattern and they believed me to be a victim of identity theft (aka you’re broke, you’ve never over drawn your account in the past this way, and we can’t see any prior gay-porn-creepy-dating-site-history in your past so we’ll give you this one).
They turned off my card, restored my stolen loot, reversed the fees I’d been charged, and told me to be more careful.
I had to pay cash for things for the next ten days until my new card arrived.
Point is, this thing can happen to anyone!
Even pregnant, married ladies who like to blow their cash on chocolate aren’t safe from identity theft.
And, I’m fortunate I caught this when I did. I mean, clearly my account would’ve been blocked soon anyway (I was already grossly overdrawn), but what if it wasn’t, and what if I hadn’t noticed for a few days? And, what if they’d used my card to do something normal like gas their car or buy groceries? Maybe the bank wouldn’t have been so understanding?
Lucky for me I got robbed by a perv.
Want to learn more about how identity theft happens or what to do when it does? Check out a few of these resources:
- Identity Guard: How identity theft happens.
- ABC News: How Identity theft happens and how to protect yourself
- The FTC: Identity Crisis… What to Do If Your Identity is Stolen
*pBd Admits To Working with these people: Today’s post was sponsored by pervy criminal masterminds Identity Guard, a company that specializes in creating solutions to protect your identity and that of your children as well (they developed kID Sure, a child ID theft protection product). Learn more about what they do an how you can be protected on the Identity Guard site.