Today is a special day at Casa de Dummies!
Not special as in it’s a day that we plan to do anything different than any other day, but a day we like to recognize anyway.
Because, nine years ago today Dumb Dad and I tied the knot.
I became his ball and chain, he became my old man (I mean that literally, because he is older than me, like way older, or at least two years) in an intimate (think small and cheapish) ceremony in Ft. Belvoir, Virginia.
It was a happy day.
He looked younger, I looked thinner.
It was a very emotional and happy day.
And, I’ll remember it, in parts (like everything before the reception, a couple of moments during, and pretty much nothing after the bottle started popping) forever.
I’ve been blogging since 2008 which means I’ve done the whole this-is-our-anniversary-and-I-married-him-cause-I-hearts-him-hard post like 3 times already.
So, I’ll spare you.
And instead, give you something you can actually use: tips for being married forever.
Or nine years. Which somehow feels like forever some days.
Dumb Mom’s Guide to Having an Awesome Marriage for a Bunch of Years
1. Pick smart. I’m pretty sure that picking my polar opposite as a spouse is the best thing I could’ve done for myself in the husband picking department. Our similarities pretty much only include being born in California, graduating from the University of California, Irvine, and being heterosexual. Fortunately for us, we respect and appreciate each other’s difference, and bond over the fact that we love one another largely because of, not in spite of, these things. Which I guess is one more thing we have in common. Score!
2. Lower your expectations. This way, when your partner snores straight through his turn to feed your screaming infant for the fourth night in a row you won’t want to punch him in his tongue. Tongue punching is expressly discouraged in holy matrimony.
3. Be prepared to sacrifice. Not shoes, not cupcakes, not computer time. Yourself. You will likely need to give up certain elements of your pre-husband self if you want to become one part of a successful couple. Say, for argument’s sake, you’re a Type A personality who is independent, slightly self centered, and intensely stubborn headstrong who enjoys and has grown accustomed to making decisions on her own. You may need to pretend not be that way so much and let your man think he is in on some decision making from time to time. Healthy couples make major decisions together. Everyone knows that.
4. Show you care. As someone with the emotional range of a Redwood I can say that I have two general states of emotional being: strong and happy, or battered by the elements and sagging on the ground. So, I show I care in the kitchen. Meaning, if I cook something that isn’t frozen with the instructions on the outside of its box, I’m showing him I care. If he comes home to El Monterey Taquitos and Ore Ida Fries, chances are it’s not his day. Every now and then we get a stint of these I-don’t-give-a-care-so-step-off days, but mostly I try. And he makes sure to praise this effort whole heartedly to ensure that it sticks around for the duration.
5. Listen. Like really, really listen. Sometimes this requires you to do what I like to call, feminine inference. This is where he says something foolish like: “My mom makes the best tacos!” You hear what he means: “This taco ain’t got nothing on my mama’s!” You smirk smile and respond accordingly: by making a mental note to never, ever make his sorry behind tacos again for so long as you both shall live.
I honestly feel like Dumb Dad and I are really awesome at being a married couple; we rarely argue, we make each other laugh (me WITH him, him AT me), and we’re both devoted to giving The Dudes an awesome, hip-hop filled life with adequate opportunities to make independent choices while they play in the yard just slightly out of ear shot so as not to annoy us together.
Plus, we’ve been together for a really long time; through all of our most major life moments, and through most of our adulthood too. Actually, I met the man at a freshman orientation he was trolling for chicks at when I was 18 years old.
He stalked me ignored me just long enough to seem interesting and we’ve been together ever since.
At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m perfect for him.
And vice versa.
Aw, congratulations and happy anniversary! It does take work, but all the things you mention work toward longevity (and no homicide) too.
We celebrate our 10 year anniversary next month. It does sometimes feel like forever, but I look at it this way: if this is how forever feels, I do not mind. Besides, the only interesting method for killing him would involve entirely too much blood and duct tape and I’m way too cute for jail.
Happy Anniversary you two! Here’s to many, MANY more great years together. :)
Happy anniversary! I hope that you have many more years of happiness.
I think that this is the first time I’ve seen a picture of your husband on your blog! You guys are a beautiful couple.
Oh, love this, you! And happy anniversary!!
AWESOME. I especially like the part about tounge-punching. Note to self, won’t do that… again. Happy Annivesary to the two of you! We just celebrated our anniversary on May 30th and I had to do a “I love him sooooo much post.” But I like yours better ; )
Happy anniversary. You guys are such a couple couple.
I loved #3 on your list. I can relate.
Ya’ll are so cute together. I love your tips for staying together. I can honestly say Gene and I laugh a lot together. We are the masters of sarcasm and witty comebacks. Otherwise we would have pulled each other bald.
Happy Anniversary. You guys are a great couple!
Love your advice! Happy A-Day!
Happy anniversary!
After (almost) 22 years, I will say that your advice is spot on.
Happy Anniversary!! :)
I agree with your advice — We’re on year 4!
Happy Anniversary! The tips are so true- I also married my polar opposite and believe it is the best thing ever! Plus, I think I am that whole type A thing so the fact that he is completely laid back is a big help. We rarely argue too which is always fun. Although sometimes the laid back thing kinda irks me — like when the trash needs to go out. Like now, not in 2 hours!!!!! Affection, trust and communication are also big.
I too like the feminine inference comment. LOL
Today (the 31st) is our 9 Anniversary too! Congrats to you!!
Happy Anniversary!!!!!
Great tips! And you look gorgeous in both pics ;)
Happy anniversary! Congratulations!
Happy Anniversary! Amen to the pick smart, choosing my husband (and recognizing the qualities of his that balanced mine) is pretty much the best decision I’ve ever made.
Happy Anniversary and GREAT tips!
Happy Anniversary! Love the tips.
Happy anniversary. Our wedding anniversary is only 6 days apart and we have also been married for 9 years! :) Today is ours.
Happy Anniversary! love the advice, so funny!