Gifting Dumb Dad with items is hard.
Wicked, wicked hard.
You’d think that it would be easy to gift the person you know better than any other with something that would make them realize what a fan-freakin-tastic addition to their life you are.
Wait, that felt right, but sounded wrong.
Um, I meant, you’d think that it would be easy to gift the person you know better than any other with something that would make them realize what a fan-freakin-tastic addition to YOUR life THEY are.
A gift they would thank you for profusely. One that would make all of their Dude friends jealous. One that you can bring up at BBQs and birthday parties and family reunions and any place other people are likely to hear it for years to come.
A timeless gift that encapsulates your love and um,
sporadic adoration of the contribution they make to your children’s lives daily.
You’d think it would be easy to get this done, because he deserves it. And you want him to know that, even if you don’t act like it when you come home from work and the laundry baskets are seriously still sitting at the bottom of the stairs obviously clean, folded, and waiting to be carried upstairs RIGHT WHERE HE STEPPED OVER THEM.
But, yeah, not so much.
And, it’s not that Dumb Dad is so picky he can’t be pleased.
Okay, it’s not just that.
It’s also that he already has most things he wants that a regular human on a regular budget can afford.
And everything he needs for his life as a man (ties, shirts, um, more shirts) is just so boring and uninspired.
I usually wind up forcing the Dudes to make him something hideous to go along with the random video game I saw on a big poster at the mall and decided to buy on a whim.
But this year?
This year I started my quest for Father’s Day greatness early.
I’m still looking.
Father’s Day is in like 4 days.
I am lame.
And I’m probably buying him a video game.
But, at least this year I can pair it with something that smells good and makes him clean.
Dove sent me a Dove Men + Care pack to check out recently and, because I thought no-freaking-way-am-I-giving-my-husband-body-soap-for-Father’s-Day-because-seriously-he’ll-think-that-I-think-that-he’s-funky I gave it to #1. Because he’s gonna be 11 soon and he really is funky and and he already knows I think so.
Only, you know what?
As soon as he came down from freshening up with his man-scented body wash and deodorant and plopped himself on the couch, Dumb Dad took note! He actually complimented #1 on his so-fresh-and-so-clean scent. That’s a big deal for a kid who most often smells like the wet side of a sweaty shin guard!
So, yeah, I will be drying that bottle right off, packing it into a gift bag and putting a ring on it. Or a ribbon. Or something.
Like he’ll know.
Want some ideas for gifting your fave dad with some Father’s Day Awesome?
I got you!
Dumb Mom’s Guide to Dad’s Day Gifts that Aren’t totally Sucktastic
1. Let him sleep in. I know, he does it all the time. But, this time? Don’t make him feel guilty about it.
2. Make him something meaty. Preferably bacon-y. He’s a vegetarian? Um,
he’s not a man fine then make him something vegetably. And let him eat it in peace without mentioning how he chews, or how he sits before the kids are served, or that he needs to put his iPad down while you eat. Matter of fact, bring it to him and let him share a cool video he found with you while he gets his grub on!
3. Don’t force him to go some place with just the kids. A family outing with two toddlers and a kindergartener sans mom so they can have “bonding time” is just mean and you know it. But, a trip to the ball park where YOU take the kid to the potty every time so he doesn’t miss a pitch may just be a fun way to spend an afternoon.
4. Let him be. Sometimes guys just want to be left alone. Just like, sometimes chicks just want to be left alone. Those desires to just sit and stare at a book or a TV screen or the sky don’t go away just because you have children. In fact, they may actually increase exponentially, a situation every single human parent with a heart feels at least a twinge of guilt over. So, give dad a pass. Tell him to kick his feet up and watch the game, or play a game, or whatever your Dude likes to do when he’s not really doing anything.
5. See what other dads have to say. Don’t listen to me. I clearly don’t know what Dad Dudes like (as evidenced by my inability to find a reasonable gift for my own husband). Lucky for you there are tons of dad bloggers out there who can probably help you. Or, at least entertain you when you get sidetracked from your search. Here are a few I enjoy…
*pBd Admits It’s Free and She’ll Probably Even Wind up Getting Paid: Today’s post was brought to you by sweet smelling tween Dudes, Dove, and The Motherhood. I got product I didn’t pay for which my child really did bathe in (and continues to actually as he refuses to hand over the bottle so I can re-gift it to his father). I will also be compensated for my hard work and general awesomeness, not because I said nice things about how amazingly Dude-ish my Dude smells thanks to Dove. Just so you know.