I’ve come to the conclusion that me and Chevron stripes are serious homies.
I got this Chevron striped dress from Target recently on a whim.
I was drawn to it because 1) I’m generally obsessed with dresses, 2) it had the long-in-back-short-up-front thing going on that I have always found particularly appealing for its ability to keep my junk covered when I bend over to tie a shoe, or kiss a scraped knee, or make eye contact with a little person who really needs me to get my so-help-me-you-better-stop-it-right-now point across, and 3) it was cheap-ish ($24.99 to be precise).
I thought it was an attractive cut of course, but the Chevron striping of it was neither here nor there; it wasn’t a factor at all in my final determination to bring it home with me.
I wore it a couple of times and recall thinking that it was comfy and I felt good in it.
And then last night I went to a media type event in it.
One of these events I sometimes go to where I get photographed randomly numerous times for no good reason.
The moment the camera was snapped, I immediately grabbed said camera to scrutinize said photo so that I could immediately delete or apply a flattering filter via Instagram before someone had the opportunity to tag, post, Tweet, or otherwise spread an unflattering portrayal of my saggy-waggy-baby-gut and my one-eye-wild-the-other-one-closed in between face via the World Wide Web (one must be diligent in these efforts).
Please note that I am highly critical of such images as they NEVER GO AWAY and come up in random Google searches of yourself FOR LIFE. Wonky eyed beer gut shots of me with my Spanx peeking out of my dress are like the college girl’s equivalent of the drunken stupor crotch shot: they will haunt you forever and people will never forget.
But this photo didn’t get an immediate groan or an instant delete.
Because I looked pretty dang awesome in that Chevron striped get up!
It made all of my big bits look, um, so much less big!
I’m not sure what it is about the geometry of the Chevron stripe (geometry hated me nearly as much as I hated it), if they confuse the mind or trick the eye or what, but I am in love with them.
I’ve decided that I will wear that dress every single day until which time I am able to procure additional Chevron striped items to interchange it with.
Additionally I am planning to carry a Chevron striped hand bag, don Chevron striped footwear, and possibly even invest in a Chevron striped sitting chair of some sort that I can essentially disappear into each night in my Chevron striped pajamas.
Chevron should consider hiring me.
In other news, did you know that today is National Flip Flop Day (yeah, even flip flops have their own day now)?!
And, as much as I’d love to sport a chic pair today I couldn’t locate one that was Chevron striped so it’s a no go for me.
I hooked you up though with some cute styles to check out because I know how desperate you are to snag ANOTHER PAIR OF FLIP FLOPS!