I’ve always thought of Dumb Dad as the lucky one in this parenting collabo we’ve got going on here.
Sure I got the natural good mom instincts, the uncanny ability to pretty much always be right, and the majority of the good looks.
He gets to use his ability to kick the face off a soccer ball, his insane hand-eye coordination when it comes to wrecking shop on a video game, and his inclination to spend every evening drooling a little while he dozes off in front of the television with a mound of small humans climbing about him to HAVE ALL OF THE FUN!
It’s just not even a teeny bit fair.
On an average day, I have to work (at my paying job), get people ready for school, do homework, get them to tutoring/practice/gymnastics/someplace-random-I-can-hardly-keep-straight, make dinner, clean up after the dinner, do a couple of loads of laundry so they have fresh socks for soccer tomorrow, shoot the teacher an email, bathe the dirty people, break up a fight or five, make sure they have their allergy medicine, bake them cookies (yes, I bake them something every single week of their lives), threaten them with hideous things if they don’t brush their teeth, cuddle them in their beds, get them back into their beds at least 3 times, and probably spend the night cleaning up the toys they left strewn all over my everything before I finally sit down on my couch to pet my dog, Tweet my homies, and fall asleep to
The Bachelorette True Blood.
All of my mom training, hard work, and selfless sacrifice and yet this Dude rolls in here, throws out a few jokes and a couple of headlocks, and still comes out as everyone’s favorite parent!
So, I’ve decided to start paying attention to the guy a little bit. Because there’s something about him and his parenting technique that just makes The Dudes so very happy that they want to crawl right inside of his mouth and live there. Or something.
10 Things Dumb Dad Has Taught Me About Being an Awesome Parent
1. A little blood never hurt anything. Unless you need stitches or start barfing. And then FREAK OUT. HARD.
2. Fun comes first. Last and in between.
3. Learning to throw a ball is nearly as important as learning to read.
4. Perfection is subjective. And also, highly annoying.
5. Everyone has a “listening face”. They use it when they want you to think they are listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth when really, they are actively imagining you dead or at the very least away. Being able to detect the “listening faces” of the men in your life will save you time, effort, and breath.
6. Neosporin is like a magic potion.
7. Everything can be a competition. Peeing fastest, dressing fastest, buckling your seat belt fastest; doesn’t matter, just be the fastest.
8. You never have to let someone win. It’s better if you make them earn it.
9. Farting makes everything better.
10. Dudes love their mamas. A lot.
I’m not the only mom with a “helpful” dad counterpart.
I polled the blogosphere to see what other moms have learned from the Dude Dads they’ve taken up with. Here’s what they had to say…
Shell from Things I Can’t Say: My husband has taught me that being a parent means stepping over the Legos instead of insisting they be picked up right this minute, counting to 10 before asking what’s wrong when hearing a scream to see if the problem will go away without intervention, and loving the kids so much that you’d do anything in the world for them.
Emmy from Emmy Mom: My husband has taught me that it is okay and even good to let go and just have fun with the kids– even when he has worked all day and is tired he will be there and totally engaged with the kids, not half-distracted like I sometimes get when I play with the kids.
Angie from Seven Clown Circus: My husband has taught me that tickles, wrestling, giggles and rough housing are a mandatory part of being a parent. And that daddies love their children in a really special and big, big way.
Liza from (a)Musing Foodie: My husband has taught me that being a parent is the most effective when we focus on our individual strengths for a given situation, and then take turns being the lead parent – true team work.
Jill from Musings from Me: For as frantic, frenetic, crazy, out-of-control as I am, my husband is a picture of calm. He does not sweat the small stuff or the big stuff. He makes a decision and sticks to it, while I waffle, dither, fret, and even when I make a decision I am full of doubt and worry. He has taught me to make decisions with a cooler head…in other words leave the emotions out of it. I can’t completely eliminate my emotions from decisions, but I do make quicker and more rational decisions because I am consciously less worked up. Baby steps…
Jen from Momma Made It Look Easy: David has taught me to relax. I would be a total helicopter parent if it weren’t for him. He has taught me it is okay to let the kids fall as long as you are there to help them back up.
Cindy from Bad Mommy Moments: My husband has taught me that being a parent is a lot more fun when I’m willing to share. Like, when I share some of the control, I can also share the results. For example, the way our older daughter needs to be right about everything? She got it from both of us. And the joy our younger daughter takes in ratting us out in the name of storytelling? Both of us. Their combined love of anything sports, poop, and fart related? That’s all him. (See? I can share.)
What have the Dude Dads in your life taught you?
*Today’s post was inspired by my blaring headache, my needy children, my neglected dog, Mama Kat’s Workshop, and Dude Dads everywhere. Hope Father’s Day is amazing for each and every one of you!