I’m not gonna show you a photo of my Bandaid-ed feet because I don’t want you to barf all over your computer screen.
Or hate me.
Or Tweet images of my busted out hammer toes all over the Internet.
Because it would seriously jack up my fashion street cred if my claw-foot-photo-filled post is the post that goes viral.
So, take my word for it here when I say, you Do NOT want to see what I’m sliding into my slingbacks today.
I will show you the shoes I’m rocking at BlogHer NYC this week.
Probably, after the vivid description I just gave you, you’re not gonna even consider buying them despite their overall cuteness.
But, let me just put an addendum in here that may change your mind: all of these shoes are fabulous while sitting. Most pairs featured below are also fabulous while standing. A couple won’t make you wish that you could stumble into Kathy Bates’ creepy shack so that she could tie you to a bed and hack off your feet from the ankles while walking a few (and by few I mean not more than 3 short ones) blocks.
However. Not one pair of shoes featured here, including the adorable flats I snagged at Payless for $15, are going to go along with being worn for 40 minutes while trying to hail a NYC cab in rainy Bryant Park, and then walked in for 3 square blocks while you attempt to figure out were the ever loving subway entrance is.
You will cry.
You will consider running up to a police man, in full tears, and telling him you’re lost dammit and he MUST help you.
And you will wind up buying yourself a pair of chic (low rise so my big calves don’t bust out the back!), polka-dotted rain boots from Strawberry…
And then, you will still wipe your tear stained face on your lace dress shirt sleeve and pay $65 to a pedi cab dude so he will haul your butt 17 blocks to a party in SoHo.
Live and learn, ladies.
New York City Shoes for Every Occasion (As Long as When You Say Every You Don’t Mean Walking or Anything that Really Feels Like It)
Price: Something like $49, but I can’t remember exactly.
Comfort Rating: Sitting, 10. Standing, 7. Walking, 4.
Brand: Me Too
Comfort Rating: Sitting, 10. Standing, 7. Walking, 3.
Brand: Bamboo from Urban OG
Comfort Rating: Sitting, 10. Standing, 5. Walking, Like giving birth, through your toenails.
Comfort Rating: Sitting, 10. Standing, 10. Walking, 10 (I just needed an insert to make mine fit better!).
Brand: Xhilaration from Target
Price: Beats me, these are from last season
Comfort Rating: Sitting, 10. Standing, 8. Walking, 8 (as long as you don’t get yourself lost, stolen, or relocated to the desert all Hangover style, you should be good. Any of that crap pops off and these immediately go down to a 1 rating in the walking category).
Moral of the story: Crocs and cross trainers are not a wise fashion choice, but if I see you rocking them in NYC while busting your tale to get uptown, I will forgive you. Totally.
*Linked up with Girly Mama for Fashion Friday!