By dealing with the never-ending-all-consuming-straight-from-Hell sock pile.
Socks are the bane of my existence. Right up there with love handles and fundraisers really.
There are literally hundreds of them in my house, socks not love handles or fundraisers, thank goodness.
They are perpetually dirty, being washed, or in need of mating (which is like CIA level torture because they all pretty much look the exact same, even though they are each somehow fundamentally different).
And, quite frankly, I hate them.
I hate smelling them. I hate washing them. And, more than anything, I hate folding them.
Is just all seems so futile and waste-of-time-y. It won’t be five minutes before The Dudes are just going to put them on, run around in the yard in them (even though I have threatened bodily harm if I see them outside in socks and no shoes again), filthy-ify them, then peel them off and leave them on my kitchen counter (gag) all wet and funky.
I have thought long and hard for a solution to this problem. This guy really had something I think…
Sure, it might be a little dramatic if all you’re concerned about is sock fit, but if you’re me, and all you really care about is never having to wash and match and put away a bazillion Dude socks again, then it really doesn’t seem all that crazy.
Unfortunately, people would judge me and ridicule my children if I made them wear plaster socks, so I’ve come up with some other solutions to help simplify things a bit.
Dumb Mom’s Guide to Simplifying Laundry By Reducing Your Interaction with Evil Socks
1. Buy smart. I realized that having all white socks really isn’t very smart. Because, even though they all look the same when you gaze into that huge laundry basket filled with them, they aren’t. The Dudes all have different sized feet so when you match up a Dude #1 white sock with a Dude #3 white sock, people get angry. Really, really angry. We’ve started going with colors. #1 is white. #2 is black. And #3? He’s multicolor, of course!
2. Keep a clean sock basket. Before I started the sock basket, we had all of these lonely-because-the-washer-dryer-or-a-monster-ate-my-mate socks all over the place. Now, when I mate socks and some come up alone, I toss them into the sock basket where they wait until their mate turns up. Or until their mate is declared dead and they are set aside to be turned into a handmade dog toy.
3. Enlist help. For some reason folding socks is less annoying and frustrating when you are 7. So, I just make the 7 year old do it. Once I instituted the color system even he can whip through a basket of socks in under 30 minutes. And I can check Facebook while still feeling like a decent and responsible parent for teaching my kid a skill. Score!
4. Simplify your system. Similar to the clean sock basket, we also have a dirty sock basket in The Dudes’ bathroom. The moment socks leave their feet for any reason they are to be placed into the dirty sock basket. Should dirty socks find their way into the regular clothes hamper (or the kitchen counter, or the couch, or IN THE TOLIET?!), I kindly collect those bad boys and deposit them onto their pillows. I know, I’m a mean mommy, but sometimes kids need an incentive to learn! And also, I need the dirty socks to stay dirty together so I can wash them together. And, I need them to be washed together because then they don’t get lost as often. And I need them to not get lost so that I can fold them without losing my friggin’ mind. I NEED that.
5. Get to know your machine. My Whirlpool Duet washer has a bunch of neat cycles and functions that allow me to simplify and streamline my entire washing and drying process without putting up a bunch of effort. The best thing that has happened to my laundry is the Fan Fresh feature. It allows me to wash socks when I need to (which is sadly a few times a week to keep up with the funk), forget about them (like I always do), and not have to worry about them getting all moldy smelling while I ignore them to Tweet drive The Dudes to practice and make dinner and work and stuff. I can forget about my clean socks for like 12 hours and come back and they will still be fresh and clean smelling to go into the dryer. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Whirlpool and received a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.
I see you are still hilarious!! (:
I have a sock basket, too! I gotta say, though, color-coding your kids’ socks is freaking GENIUS!
We only do white socks in our house. Right now, ti’s easy because the boys wear the same size. When they didn’t, they got two different brands of socks to make matching them easier. And I totally employ the clean sock basket too. It rocks.
We will not discuss my sock basket. Have I mentioned how much I miss my mom. I literally left them all in the basket, need socks , knock yourself out and mate a pair. Mom would come over and mate them all, or try to. I am the only one I know my socks immediately. The rest of them are a guessing game. How does one stretch out the top of one sock but not the other?? Ask my boys they do it every time..
Oh, #3 is IT! My middle daughter loves folding (and sister girl is fairly good at even fitted sheets. I think I’ll keep her). While my issue is keeping them all clean and trying to match them up, I have more of a problem with them arguing over whose sock is whose when they own identical pairs. Because…WHAT?
” …even though I have threatened bodily harm if I see them outside in socks and no shoes again”
Thank you.
I’ve instituted the “leave them in the basket and dig every morning” policy. I really, truly do hate them. This morning David asked me where his socks were and said he could never find any of them. I responded it was too bad there wasn’t something simple he could do to correct that problem. Because seriously? I don’t even wear socks. Why should I have to worry about it?
I’m with you – laundry is a PAIN. I outsourced mine to our dudes many years ago, so I only have to worry about mine and hubby’s. Any kid that is old enough to reach the washer can do his own laundry in my book.
I LOVE the idea of the Fan Fresh feature. Youngest dude was camping, so a whole load of jeans was forgotten in the washer for the whole weekend and they were NASTY. Took two washes and half a bottle of vinegar to get them smelling good again.
One variation on the sock orphanage – I put the orphan socks into each person’s drawers rather than in a central orphanage. That way, if they run out of pairs, they can improve with various orphan combos while they are waiting for a fresh batch of socks. It ain’t pretty, but it covers the feet!
I have had longer discussions over socks and how to overcome their Evil Time-Suck than Lady Gaga has had over outfit selection. But the prize for how to deal with them goes to my MIL (PLEASE don’t tell her, or she’ll be even worse than she is already.)
This actually works. Trust me. Dealing with six people’s socks was taking HOURS out of my life.
So I have a central hamper where all the dirty clothes go. On the door, I put up hooks with the kid’s names above them (Because it’s not official if I don’t get to use my P-touch). From each hook, hangs a lingerie bag. Each kid puts their dirty socks in the bag. When I do laundry, I throw each zipped bag full of socks into the washer, move it to the dryer, and then dump the contents of their bag into their sock drawer. Since most times, even when I was matching and folding socks I still had a sock drawer that was a scrambled mess, now at least I don’t get upset by it.
Voila!! No sorting. I admit….we had some growing pains with this. I offered the kids a dollar if they could get all their socks in the bag each week. I also had an issue where, after they’d done it, my husband emptied the bags into the washing machine, thereby negating the entire process that week. I also can’t seem to train my husband to put his socks in the bag…but then, I’m considering myself lucky if he hits the hamper. And one person’s socks is so much easier than six.
I actually had a few more tips when I covered this on my own blog. Maybe it will help!
http://thetiredmother.blogspot.com/2012/05/fluff-fold-repeat.html
Happy Folding!
Oh….I almost forgot.
Consider getting a spare lingerie bag per person. That way, you don’t stump the kids when their bags are in the wash and not hanging up! Definitely takes the pressure off the process.
It’s really good if the things at home are in order. Specially when those dirty clothes and socks are in one place. Thank you for the tips!
socks socks socks…i’m glad to know i’m not the only one ;)
My sock solution for years has been white socks with an initial on the heel..Now that my husband and son wear the same sock size, I just by 3 styles of sock, (white no-show, tube socks for bbots, and black socks) all the same size and they share socks. Don’t tell them, though. If the man knew he was sharing socks with the man-child he would vomit.
Only you can write a post about socks and totally rock it! That commercial is hysterical. I’m going to have have to enlist #1 to be my go to sock matcher for sure.
I wish I could get my kid to sort through the sock basket so I can go play on facebook. LOL But luckily, hubby will do it every now and again so we have socks to wear. I hate the chore.