I’m strangely awesome at driving.
It’s actually scary how skilled I am in this way. I guess it’s just like a talent for me. I get in a car, rev the engine, and it just feels right.
And, looks good too…
(Even if I am in a
Swagger Wagon Toyota Sienna looking all Mom Gangsta and stuff.)
That’s the reason I feel so much frustration when I’m driving around town with people who aren’t quite as skilled as I in this way.
When Progressive popped up in my email one day with this cool new way to help amazing drivers (like me) get the lower insurance rates they deserve, I was all over it.
We’d like to send you a Snapshot from Progressive to try out because we know how awesome you are on the open road, they said. Or something that sounded remarkably like that to me.
Point is, they knew I’d be perfect for this product.
Clearly, someone who has been driving for a bunch of years without any sort of accidents on her record (aside from the time someone just ran into us and knocked out rear view mirror clean off and the time someone backed into me while I was just minding my own business in the mall parking lot) deserves to pay less, right?!
And I figured, score for me, because I’m not a teenage boy. I’m not the owner of a race car. And, I’m not a million billionty years old either.
I got this!
I saw this opportunity as my opportunity to get proof of my amazing driving abilities so that I could shout about them to
my husband the world. And y’all know Dumb Mom doesn’t pass up opportunities to prove her awesomeness.
So, in my excitement to do just that, I signed up and they sent me out this little tracking gadgety thingy…
I know, it seems creepy right?
Some little device tracking your every move? Keeping tabs on where you go and how you get there?
Calm down conspiracy theorists. The Man doesn’t give a care about me and my trips to the pool or the grocery store or the soccer field one little bit.
And, Progessive doesn’t give a care where you go or what you do when you get there; they just want to know how you get there. The little Snapshot gadgety thingy only tracks how hard you brake, how quickly you accelerate, and how many miles you average per day.
Still not sure what Snapshot even is? Maybe you’ve seen the commercial (The Dudes knew what it was the exact moment that I opened the box: “It’s Snapshot”, they all yelled, because no one here ever talks without yelling)…
Very unscary, right?!
I’ve been rolling around town with my Snapshot plugged in for 30 days now and you know what?!
I think it’s broken.
I accelerate like a race car driver? I brake like a race car driver? And, to top it all off, I get around the state of Maryland like a, um, race car driver too?!
Not only did they have “tips” for my accelerating and my braking, they had words about the fact that my daily mileage is high too. I mean I live in the boonies here, you can’t really punish me for that. I wanted a bigger yard, and a garage, and food on the table, so shoot me!.
This information nearly leads me to believe that there is an outside chance that I’m
a terrible driver possibly not quite as advanced in my ability to operate a motor vehicle with safety first as once believed by myself and the general population. Or, that safe driving is totally subjective.
Despite this disturbing news, I am still eligible for a 6% savings. And, a savings is a savings is a savings as far as I’m concerned.
Only problem is, I can’t take them up on their offer. As much as I’d like to enjoy a 6% savings
so that I could buy more shoes I can’t let Dumb Dad see the report because I’d never live it down. So, 6% is what my fragile ego is worth apparently.
if you don’t have a big mouth that gets you into trouble you should totally look into taking advantage of this opportunity, you may actually be a better driver than I am in theory wind up saving a lot more because if I can save 6%, imagine what the possibilities are for those of you who don’t have a lead foot are more conscientious!
Could be big people, could be big.
*pBd Admits it’s Free: Progressive sent me a Snapshot to test (which I actually need to return) and a bunch of awesome product and gas cash to facilitate this review. They didn’t actually know what an amazing driver I was when they selected me, but they wish they did now.