I became a mom unexpectedly.
I’ve told that story before, but I’m not sure I’ve told you much about the night #1 was born.
When he was much smaller than this, before digital cameras (which is why I don’t have any baby pictures to show you on this dang computer).
Me: 22, teaching middle school English and history with Teach for America, in the hood Oakland, CA to 85 of the most awesome kids I’ve ever known.
Boyfriend-turned-husband (BFTH): 24, working at some law firm and living at home. With his parents. And his siblings. All awesome like.
Discovery: the standard pee-on-a-stick-and-FREAK way one would expect when one’s BFTH is living at home while you are in a really cruddy and ridiculously small one bedroom apartment in the East Bay. If you are familiar with the East Bay, Oakland teaching salaries ten or so years ago, and housing options in the San Francisco Bay Area in general, you know why that freak was in all caps.
Announcement: Told my parents, who lived cross country, via landline telephone in the teacher’s lounge of my middle school. While bawling. My. Face off. He told his parents alone too; still not entirely sure how that went.
Quitting Jobs/Moving/Getting New Jobs/ Becoming a SAHM: yep, all of that happened and we packed up the little things that we had, my Dodge Neon, his VW Jetta, and hustled out to the East Coast for the promise of better housing rates, lower gas prices, and a good ole fashioned government job.
Birthday: here’s where things got interesting. Because, I literally nearly died in labor. Literally. I had preeclampsia (as evidenced by the fact that I actually gained 15lbs in 4 days) but, because I was a 23 year old life novice, I had no idea and thought that my extra weight was due to a milkshake bender the night before. The doc sent me to the hospital, they induced, I freaked at the pain and got an epidural (judge if you want, but it saves my life a little), watched Friends, ate the heck outta some Italian Ice, barfed all of that up, vowed to never do that again ever, and after 13 hours of labor was told it was time to push. Pushed like a boss until they eventually discovered that, despite my best efforts, the baby was actually stuck inside. Like wedged. For good. So, instead of handing me a mirror to watch my child turn me inside out emerge into the world, the nurse mounted me her butt to my face, the doctor stuck her hand into my junk up to her elbow, and my child was unceremoniously ripped out by his tiny baby arms. To save his life of course.
Near Death: And here, friends, is where it got real. I felt an intense pain rip through the upper part of my body up towards my chest. My head turned backwards and I screamed like that evil girl in the Exorcist. People started freaking the freak out. And then, nothing. Although, I could hear them calling the ER, and saying my blood pressure and heart rate were dropping quickly. I heard them eject my husband, attempt to eject my mother (she wasn’t having it), and call my name repeatedly. I didn’t answer because I was too busy wondering if the men doing the EKG could see my boobs (yep, there is modesty during out of body experiences). I awoke briefly to the doctor sitting on the floor in my delivery room, cradling her head in her hands. I remember thinking, well that’s no good, before deciding to just not be awake anymore.
Aftermath: I slept for 8 hours straight thanks to the drugs they’d injected into my hemorrhaging body to save my life. I had over 50 internal stitches and over 40 to my girly bits on the outside. I had to lay flat for 36 hours, had a gauze pack the size of Texas shoved inside of my hooha, and was forced to nurse my newborn baby (who I’d still only briefly laid eyes on at this point) on my back for the next 3 days. But dang it if I didn’t love that kid.
My oldest Dude will be turning 11 in one month. And, minus those first 36 hours we had together, it’s been the most pleasing, joyful, and fulfilling 11 years of my life. I totally forgive him for trying to kill me.
Totally.
Our story maybe doesn’t have a happy Baby Story-esque beginning or middle, but nobody better not mess with our happy ending.
Wow, I’m in a WORDUL mood this week!
How ‘bout you? Feeling wordy?! Feel free to share your birth story in the comment section (not sure why, but I LOVE hearing them!), or feel free to link a post, then head over to Angie’s Seven Clown Circus to see what she’s up to this week too!
And, be sure to say hey to this week’s featured linkers:
- Mi Todo: If I was going to have a bucket list, diving in Oahu would SO be on it! Lucky
- The Boy Named After a Car: Ready to swoon? Because this cutie with big eyes is totally going to make you!
- Pride in Photos: I LOVE the black and white process on these photos. And, the cutie in them is pretty cool too!
- Kleinworth & Co.: Love the idea of taking quarterly kid photo shoots. I need to get on that over here; they change so quickly!
Want your Wordful post featured here like these lovely ladies? Be sure you link up and leave comments. We like to feature people who we interact with a bunch. You know, because we loves ya!
This week’s post brought to you by epidurals, birth stories, out of body experiences, and Hallmark’s Life’s a Special Occasion campaign, to which I am a paid contributor.
OH MY GOODNESS! How scary!!!! I couldn’t imagine. Thanks for the feature. :-) Your little man is so handsome.
The fact that you went on and had two MORE children after that experience makes you my hero. Hello, Supermamama!!
Oh my gosh! How freaky! What a horrible experience!
WHAT?!?!?! That is a CRAZY story. And you are super brave for sharing it!
Wow! I’m stunned. So glad he didn’t succeed in killing you.
(I gotta say I thought only babies in my family had cheeks like those! Too cute.)
Yeah… pretty sure you’ve never told THAT story to us before. WOAH.
There was some drama and unexpected bleeding when my first was born too, so I can relate.
And OHMYGOSH those baby cheeks!!!! ;D
I’m not sure I should have read that, I’m pregnant with my first. Hopefully my little girl doesn’t try so hard to kill me.
Holy freaking scariness. I can’t even imagine.
Mine aren’t quite as eventful, but leading up to them is always stressful (pregnancy induced medical condition). I’ll link them up if you want to read!
#1: http://www.reallyareyouserious.com/2008/03/birth-story-carnival.html
#2: http://www.reallyareyouserious.com/2008/10/story-of-natalies-birth.html
#3: http://www.reallyareyouserious.com/2012/03/Es-birth-story.html
Good job, mama! Mine didn’t try to kill me but he did cause 36 hours of labor and a burst blood vessel in one eye. On the other hand, my husband got to hang out with Tone Loc in the lobby while I was in a drug-induced stupor (it was UCLA…things like that happen there).
HOLY CRAP!
That makes my story of having to get an epidural twice because they did it wrong the first time look wimpy. Glad you got (and intend to KEEP) your happy ending!
I love how you do the cross-outs in your posts. So funny.
Wow, just wow! Amazing story. So glad for the happy ending with your adorable firstborn!
Holy Toledo.
1.) Oaktown BABY! Yay Areaaaaa represent! (You guys were smart to leave – as ghetto as it wants to be, it’s STILL expensive to live there!)
2. ) You almost died. And had the nerve to worry about naked boobs. I love you for this.
3.) I totally had a forest green Dodge Neon. The only non-Toyota car I ever had. And it was a LEMON.
4.) You almost died.
5.) The doctor stuck her ARM into you. ARM. And had the nerve to cry about it on the floor while you were dying.
6.) YOU SURVIVED.
Geez!!!
Holy Moses that’s the most insane birth story I’ve ever heard. Glad the 11 years that followed have been the opposite of all that craziness!
He made quite an entrance, huh?!!!!! Happy birthday to a super cute dude!!!
Good grief, I don’t know if there would have been more kids if I had endured that. I would have really been in trouble since I didn’t do epidurals with any of mine. I am glad he didn’t kill you. That top pic is so adorable, although I am sure he will hate you for it when he is older lol.
I remember you mentioning passively how he tried to kill you, but never in detail like this. I’m glad you aren’t dead. November babies are the best (my first’s birthday is near Thanksgiving).
Oh. And her birth story. Woke up and just knew that was the day. Thanksgiving day. I ate two eggs, went back to bed. By mid afternoon I was on the floor rocking in between trying to paint my nails because I cannot go to the hospital without my toes done DUH. By 6 that ni ght we were dropping off pies because I cannot go to the hospital without first dropping off these pies DUH. I was 6 cm by the time we got there, around 8. I don’t remember what time she was born, but I remember it was still Thanksgiving day, I hadn’t eaten, there was a tiny man, head of the OB dept leaning on my bed, pressing on my stomach, shouting at me to push, there were beeps and shouts of distress and no heartbeat and cord compression and “I can’t feel my legs.” I did not almost die though. You still win.
Good lord lady, that was INTENSE! I hope you remind him of the fact that you almost died giving him life every time he acts up. Who needs Santa when you can pull the “I almost died while giving birth to you!” card?
My birthing stories are way less intense and generally make women who had harder times want to bitch slap me. Both of my girls were born in three hours or less without drugs or drama. Although Girl #1 was unexpected and conceived after dating BFTH for all of three months. But that’s a story for another day!
Oh. My. Lawd. What a beautiful story. I am so glad you are telling it.
Wow. So what actually happened to require that many stitches, etc? And it was perfectly fine for you to go on and have 2 more??
My #1′s birth story is hellish, but I didn’t almost die, so it really doesn’t compare.
First of all thanks so much for featuring my post on the Black & White photos…yipee!! Second, that is quiet the story of the birth of your first born. I am so glad you pulled threw!!!! First born births can be tough…my baby girl was 9 lbs and I was intensive labor for 24 hours straight…thought she would never come out!
Laurie
Okay- WOW!!! Now that is an experience! I love learning more about you & getting to know you better. While my birth experience with #1 wasn’t life threatening for me, it did result in Mr. Man being in the NICU for a week afterwards. It’s so hard when it’s your first. All those things- you don’t know what is “normal” or when you should panic or speak up & disagree. It is such an unknown at that time – especially being so young. I also have to commend you for taking that huge leap of faith & moving across country in those early months. We did that- I think it’s that fearless young age that makes us say “sure- let’s go for it! It will all work out”. Thank goodness it did for you & for myself. I think at that age we are too young to think otherwise.
Also have to say Thank you for the mention. I agree, keeping up on the photos is something I almost feel like I am trying to make up for lost time with. We couldn’t afford professional pics (even the crappy chain store ones) when the kids were born. I literally have a couple sets of #1 in his first year because my mom paid for them- because he was #1. No newborn pics of #2 & 1 set of #3. Up until I learned photography (like I just bought my dslr a year ago) the professional picture of the 3 kids together on the mantle was taken when #3 was born. That was the last (& only)time I paid to have them photographed together. She’s now 9. So it’s fair to say that we were slacking in the photo department with the exception of the occasional snapshot of random things. I certainly didn’t carry my camera everywhere we went in those early days & back then not only was it uncommon for phones to have cameras – we didn’t have one anyway. I’m so grateful for life changing & having this opportunity to capture them while I still have them at home. Because let me tell you- #1 is now 14- it has gone by way too fast.
What a beautiful story. I am so glad you are telling it. Thank God for you and #1. ANd your mom who refused to go.
Oh my heavens! I think that’s one of the most dramatic birth stories I’ve ever heard! The things we mothers go through (and still love our children…)!
PS – I was born in San Leandro. I know exactly what you mean about Oakland. ;)
Now that is what I call a birth story.
Wow!
Oh my goodness!! that is one hell of a birth story! Isn’t it amazing that we sign up to do it all over again? I had massive complications with my birth with my first born. Prolonged labor, 3 hours of pushing, 2 attempts with forceps, episotomy and then only to discover baby was wedged into my pelvis too. C-section followed by near crasing, lots of blood loss and enlarged heart. Thankfully I recovered slowly and am back to normal. At first they thought I had a heart attack after the csection but after a second opinion from an outside cardiologist months after giving birth it was downgraded to pulmonary edema (thank goodness!). Birth is such a scary, scary thing!
Oh my god: the stories we tell, and how we almost forget about them.
A time so long ago, and we forget.
I have hero tales, too: but yours gave me shivers. Don’t want to take your space here, but WOMAN YOU ARE ALIVE.
xo
Waking up to the doctor sitting on the floor cradling her head in her hands??! Straight out of scary movie. Glad you are here 11 years and 3 kids later to tell your birth story.
OMG. That is horrific. More horrific than what happened with James and I. And I can just imagine what Mimi said when they tried to get her to leave the room.
That is one intense birth story. I know what you mean about that out-of-body experience. I didn’t have the smoothest birth either (I actually pushed in the operating room). But when they put that little boy on my chest and he suckled…. well, there ain’t nothin like it. :)
Just stopping by to say I’m glad you’re not dead!!
And also I was like this O_O for days after you told me that story.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as I read this. It must have been so scary! I’m glad it turned out okay in the end. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story :)
Wow what a birth story. Sounds just like my #2 birth except I didn’t come close to dying. My daughter was 9lbs and 3ozs and stuck! I had the nurse ontop of me and the doctor elbow deep and foot on the bed pulling! I came out fine with a pretty good amount of stitches! But my daughter got the crappy end of the deal. The OBGYN injured her when he was forceing her out. She was born with a Brachial Plexus injury. Several surgeries and 6 years later she does have movement to her arm
Wow! And you went on to have two more dudes after that. You are (crazy) amazingl brave :-)
I love his cheeks in the baby picture.