Shopping for Dumb Dad is like trying to buy gift for Baby Ivey*; he already has everything he likes, and if not, I probably can’t afford it.
Plus he’s extremely picky discriminating. Which means, I don’t buy him clothing, shoes, or anything he has to wear or carry on his person. I also don’t get his music (alternative hip hop, is that a thing?), or his movies (probably something with a samurai), or his books (historical or scary, like eff-you-up-can’t-sleep-for-a-week scary).
Every year I vow that I am going to make his Christmas. And then, I wind up buying him a bottle of Armor All and a pack of boxer briefs.
This year? He wants a new Macbook. You know, the fancy, schmansy, I cost-$2000-so-normal-humans-can’t-afford-me-MacBook Pro.
I’d have to sell an egg to afford it. I don’t have that kind of time on my hands.
Point is, unless the whole Santa thing pans out to be true, there’s little chance this is gonna happen for him.
So, again, here I am, epic-gift-less come Christmas.
But, I do have a few ideas for all of you!
Dude Dad Gift List 2012
1. For the office awesome Dude: Wear Jack Ties. Great quality, good look. Dumb Dad said they’re soft. He also muttered some nonsense about how it makes him feel pretty, which is just code for he likes it. #3 likes it too (he uses all of Dumb Dad’s ties as part of his super hero costumage)…
2. For the movie geek Dude: Poster Explosion. Makers of sheer awesomeness for your wall. Dumb Dad has a man cave where he can enjoy décor of this nature because I never go into it (it’s cold and there are these massive, man eating cricket-spider-beasts down there; like an actual cave). He’s a big, ole geeky J. R. R. Tolkien fan.
3. For the bear fighting Dude: Sharp Shirter. All the way awesome. But, this requires some background. Bruncle (that’s my brother, who is The Dudes’ uncle, who acts like their brother) is convinced he can take out a bear in hand to hand combat. Not like a grizzly or a polar or anything. But, a young, 5ft or so, black bear. He thinks he and a bear of this description are relatively equally matched physically, and he makes up for the small bit he lacks (razor sharp claws and teeth, the strength of 10 men), with human reasoning. Like, his rational thought and ability to decipher, will be enough to keep him from having his face ripped open by an agitated black bear. Bears aren’t really your man’s thing? Maybe he’s into bikes? Or, maybe you just say forget him entirely and snag something for yourself?! Check out Sharp Shirter owner, Dan’s other site too: Clockwork Gears Clothing.
4. For the music lovin’ Dude: Make-music-sound-dope gear. Check out Sol Republic headphones and the Jawbone Speaker. Dumb Dad says the headphones are “the truth” right up there with his Beatz by Dre. The speaker is coming his way this year from Santa, so, shhhhh. don’t tell him!
5. For the real-life Jedi Dude: Star Wars gear. I say you should stay far away from real life lightsabers, because, just, um, no. But, some other Star Wars inspired stuff might be cool. We collect funky glasses, so I think we’re gonna bring home these sweet Star Wars pint glasses this holiday season…
Looking to snag some other Star Wars gifts? Gadget Review posted 32 of the Best Star Wars Gifts and they are all pretty awesome.
Need more ideas? Check out Ebay’s gift guide for a steal, or just buy one of these things…
1) GorillaPod from Joby. 2) Beer Tender by Krups. 3) Kneading Massage Cusion by Homedics. 4) Waterproof Pocket Camcorder by Samsung. 5) HD Nook by Barnes and Noble. 6) iPhone5 by Apple. 7) N8 Trainer by New Balance. 8) Men’s Starter Kit by Kiehl’s.
Want a chance to snag some of this awesome for the Dude Dad in your life?!
Wear Jack ties has a great discount for all of you pBd readers out there: just enter code wb50off at checkout to save 50% on your first purchase.
But, before you buy, why not try to win?!
pBd is giving away 3, $50 gift cards to WearJack.com.
Not in love with a stripper tie wearer? How about a bear brawler? Because I have one of those to giveaway too!
Sharp Shirter has one man-fights-bear shirt for one pBd reader.
It’s so easy to enter even a dummy could do it:
- Leave a comment on this post telling me which item you’d like to win, a Sharp Shirter shirt or a Wear Jack tie. You are welcome to say, both please.
- Take two seconds to check out the Wear Jack site and the Sharp Shirter site (no, I can’t check this, but you should probably look before you buy win).
- Make sure you live square in the USofA.
- Promise to love me forever and read pBd for always.
- Be a grown up human (I won’t ask for i.d., but come on).
It’s seriously that simple.
The contest will close at midnight Eastern on 11/25, and I will notify winners on Monday, 11/26. I will regift the heck outta your prize if you don’t respond. I mean it.
*Baby Ivey is the Jay-Z/Beyonce spawn that we all know wants for nothing.
**pBd Admits It’s Free. I received a tie to test out and snap fun pics of for this post. I didn’t get a thing from Sharp Shirter and I even bought that awesome man-fights-bear-shirt all on my own. All opinions, jokes, witty quips, and small children featured in this post are my own.