Last week we were banished to our basement for two days waiting for Hurricane Sandy to blow over us.
Our home is surrounded by trees; the huge kind that break houses and smash humans when they fall on them, so hanging out underground while they swayed frantically above us was our safest bet.
Our basement is fortunately where our laundry room, playroom, office, bar, and TV area are (only Dumb Dad uses this TV area in non-emergency situations). There’s also a bathroom. Along with bunch of floor space for putting up air mattresses and having dance battles and what not. We had booze everything we needed to past the 36 hours we decided to stay holed up in there.
I was able to blatantly ignore my laundry get some work done and, since we were fortunate to only suffer a few moments of lost power, we also played video games, watched movies, and had a dance off to 90s jams (#3 learned to do the Cabbage Patch).
But, we also took those hours of mandatory togetherness to do something we do every year at this time: we cleaned out our playroom and made boxes of toys, clothing, and games to donate to Goodwill.
We donate several times per year, but all of those other piles are created by me. That’s what makes this one special; The Dudes create it themselves. They decide what things they don’t need anymore. They pick out the toys that are still healthy enough to be playable and the clothing that is still not blown to bits by their overzealous playing. Then they bag it up and get it all ready for donation.
We’ve done this every year since #1 could talk.
We donate our no longer loved on toys to kids who don’t have as many toys to love on.
Initially, there were a whole mess of tears over it; the loss of toys that had not been handled lovingly (or at all) in months was suddenly invoking emotions in my three year old human that he likely had no idea he even had.
But then, I took him and his box of unloved playthings to Goodwill with me, donated them, bought him a new dinosaur, and watched him get over the trauma of the entire thing almost immediately.
What can I say? 3 year olds are fickle.
The next year was easier, and now, 9 years later, he doesn’t let a year go by without reminding me that we need to get our stuff down to Goodwill before the weather turns cold (because he knows that people need more clothing and stuff during the winter months). He’s been a great role model in giving for his even slightly-more-attached-to-inanimate-objects brothers, and I am so proud of him for this (and a bunch of other things too).
I’ve always wanted The Dudes to be the kind of people who are grateful, and unselfish, and aware of the wonderful gifts they have been given by having me as a mother in this life.
I don’t want them to feel entitled. I want them to feel privileged. I want them to understand that they have the unique privilege to live the happy, largely-worry-free life that they live. I want them to see it as a gift and one day grow up to thank me immensely in cash and jewels understand that their mother parents and loved ones sacrificed and worked super hard to provide them with the life that they have. I want them to be proud and feel the need to keep that tradition going by becoming independently wealthy on my behalf working hard and giving back. Just like they wee taught.
We teach this by being good role models and by encouraging them to do little things, like donating their old toys, and collecting canned food for the food bank, and saving their lemonade money to buy trees.
These may not be grand gestures, but when I see them all proud of themselves for being able to give something to someone else, they feel pretty freakin’ grand to me.
How do you help your children beat back the entitlement monster appreciate their blessings and remind them to be grateful of the things that they have?
Need some suggestions? Check out my friend Amy’s blog, Teachmama.com. Not only is it an amazing site with a bunch of educational type goodies, but she has joined forces with some other do-gooding mamas for #blog4cause: an initiative designed specifically to teach your children about giving this holiday season.
*Today’s post was brought to you by Hallmark and inspiring do-gooder type kids everywhere. I am compensated by Hallmark as part of their Life is a Special Occasion Campaign. All opinions are my own, or stolen directly from my children.
I really think we need to do a better job of this. We tell them all the time, however, I don’t think it really sinks in. I need a more effective way of showing them that they have a lot to be grateful for.
My 10 year old orchestrated a Salvation Army giveaway last month. She told her sisters they could keep 5 stuffed animals each. Like you, I do it myself, but this time, it was her idea. Since she’s the cool one, my 5 year old went along with it happily. My girls also make each other’s lunches, and on days where there’s extra time, they write sweet notes to tuck inside the lunch bags.
I love this! I’ve been trying to figure out a way to teach my ladies about giving back this holiday season (instead of just getting, getting, getting until their heads explode). I think this is the absolutely perfect place to start!
Yes, we were on the same wavelength today! I love this. We do bags of clothing for donating too, and I feel the same way about the entitlement thing.
Thanks for the visit today :)
We do the Goodwill trek too. Cady is great about gathering up the stuff she doesn’t want anymore (she says to make room for new). We’ve also donated toys to the daycare that we can’t use at home. Girl Scouts has been great for teaching her about doing good for others. In December we are doing a book drive for the library and she is super excited about it.
I give to Goodwill several times a year too and my little one is only 17m old but little does she know she has already donated too!! We plan on continuing this as she gets older and doing food pantry donations and Angel Tree at Christmas. I have always tried to to Angel Tree (or something similar) whenever I was able and I think it will be a great thing to do with her as she gets a little older. She has so much to be thankful for with all of her loving family– we are all blessed really- and I just want her to know how grateful we are of our happy little life too!
The best thing that we can do as parents so that out children aren’t unaware of how blessed they are, is to not shelter them. Allowing my son to see me struggle has helped him to understand that life’s gifts are not an entitlement, they are achieved and received because of hard work, perseverence, and tenacity. Let them witness the difficult decisions that parents make so they know that thought, morality, and responsibility are important factors in everything. I’m not saying that we should let our children know when we are worried about where grocery money is coming from or how we will decide if daddy can afford that root canal he’s been needing for 2 years.
Teaching our children to give from and of their hearts is one of our most important jobs as parents. And now that I’m crying, I’ll go ahead and stop typing.
I love this. I love this because I was not taught it, but taught it myself. Perhaps not the grateful part, I still struggle with truly feeling gratitude for what I have and not loss for what I don’t. But somehow inherently I have always had such a strong will to give, to help. And I want my children to have that. To want to help people, to want to make a difference. Perhaps we too should look through what we have and what we can give away… as a family.
Excellent. I agree that being a good role model is vital. I think it is harder for parents today because of all the gadgets that children feel they need to keep up with their peers.
I think that’s awesome. First of all that you weren’t too battered by the storm and second that you turned it into a positive outcome for the dudes. My dudes have always been pretty giving in this area and we have a few bags in our basement too waiting for me to haul them off. The other thing we do is volunteer – like A LOT. I think it’s such a great experience for them to help homeless people and others less fortunate. Dude #3 spent a week in Joplin sweating his butt off to help the tornado victims. What a gratitude building experience! We also purchase about 50 pairs of gloves, hats, and socks and let the boys go around and give them out. They love that personal experience of helping someone even in a small way.