I have officially been on Weight Watchers for a month and a half.
Okay, 55 days if you’re counting. Which I am. Clearly.
Since embarking on this quest, I have lost 18 pounds, am finally rocking a one digit size pants, and am even down half a shoe size (What? My feet like cupcakes too!).
Also, my bras don’t feel like they’re cutting me in half. My Spanx don’t roll down on themselves and create a sausage like affect around my midsection (thereby defeating the entire purpose of even wearing Spanx). And, I move faster. Like, way, WAY faster. Wanna race?
I am still hoping to lose another 15lbs and have actively begun to turn into a holiday food Scrooge to make sure this happens. And, I know I said I was kicking Scrooge to the curb, but not when it comes to choclatey fat tasty goodness. I have zero ability to stop eating once I start and I must stick to my guns on this one.
On the weight loss war path and want to know how I’ve made Weight Watchers my biotch work for me so far?
I got you.
Dumb Mom’s Guide to Making Weight Watchers Your Biotch Work for You
Be a points Nazi. Don’t keep track in your head. Don’t track your points AFTER you eat. And, don’t eat something unless you know, for certain, how many points it is. At least not at first. My mind was constantly being blown by the points values of the things I wanted to eat. For example, the seemingly healthy yogurt I like is like 6 points a cup. Which means, sure I can eat it, but then I can’t eat anything else for hours making me feel all whiny and punchy and mean. Plus, I find that, if I plan my points ahead I do a way better job of sticking to what I’m going to eat in a day. When you’re only allowed 26 points per day you sorta have to meticulous about it.
Zero Point Soup. Make a pot of it on Monday and then pregame all of your meals with it. Well, not breakfast, because veggie soup before 9am is sorta gaggy, right? But, I eat it before lunch and before dinner so I fill my belly with point free foods before I move on to other stuff. You can jazz it up by adding some chicken wontons (the ones from Costco are 1 point each), but it’s best if you stick to zero points so you can eat as much as you want.
Make better choices. That’s what this whole thing is about, right? Let me give you some examples. For lunch, this is an easy swap. Instead of tasty-my-mouth-waters-just-looking-at-it bacon pizza, choose shredded chicken mixed with hummus and pretzel crisps (5 points). I know, not the same thing, but you feel just as full after both meals but way less guilty if you skip the pizza (8 points/slice)…
Easy snack swap…
Unlimited amounts of grapes: 0 points. 6 Oreo cookies: 7 points.
Sure, grapes are maybe not quite as yummy as Oreos, but a wiggly belly and high cholesterol is also not as awesome as a slender one and a low LDL count. Just sayin’.
Lunch time side dish exchange…
All the fresh veggies you can stuff in your gut: 0 points (cooked or raw, same 0 points). Bag of Cheese Curls (even if they are made with real cheese): 4 points.
Not a huge fan of veggies? Dude, you’re screwed, maybe try baked chips, oven baked fries, or brown rice. None of those are zero points, but they are better than um, Cheese Curls!
Save room for deliciousness. I’m not saying you have to become a food monk and give up all of life’s edible pleasures. Personally, I think it’s genetically impossible for me to live a life of food depravity. So, finding ways to cook things I like more healthily has been my saving grace. I use the Weight Watchers website for guidance and I also turn to other healthy eating websites and cookbooks. I recently got Looneyspoons (by Janet & Greta Podleski) to try out and there are some really tasty recipes, with tiny tweaks, that make them more belly-fat-trimming friendly. Things like meatballs and enchiladas are back on my list of foods I can eat without wanting to barf up the calories.
Exercise if you want pie. Or cookies. Or cupcakes. Or any of the stuff you loved on before. I hate exercising. Like passionately despise the whole of it. But, I will get my sweat on for a cupcake. So, I jog in my living room while I watch The Cosby Show and Duck Dynasty (yes, I love old black shows and rednecks equally) at least twice a week. And, on those days, my bedtime snack is a chocolate chip cookie. Which I make in singles so I don’t gorge myself on them when I look at my blog stats have a bad day.
Losing weight is painful and hard and not anywhere near as exciting as eating cupcakes, or drinking mocha chocolate chip lattes by your fire before bed, or having guacamole on the beach in Mexico, all things that actually make it virtually impossible to lose weight.
But, if you stick with it, I seriously think you can do this. And, I will totally have a virtual fist bump waiting for you when you do.
P.S. A note about condiments: They are evil. I swear you can get as many points out of a fully dressed salad as you can out of a juicy hamburger. So, be careful with your dipping sauces, dressing, mayonnaise and the like. Or, just skip that junk entirely.
P.S.S Weight Watchers hooked me up with a 3-month membership to try out the program. They didn’t make me rock at losing weight. I totally have done that on my own. Matter of fact, I kinda think I should be the next Weight Watchers spokeschick. I mean, I’m losing weight, and I can’t get pregnant so there’s that…