I have always wanted to go to one of those Ugly Christmas Sweater parties you hear cool people talking about all the time.
Sadly, me and the people I know aren’t really cool enough to host anything like that.
Or maybe it’s my general lack of organization and effort that keeps me from hosting one.
The decorating, the cooking, the cleaning-only-for-it-to-get-all-trashed-again; I’m not really down for all that.
But, online parties are another animal. I can host those all day!
So, after snapping this picture of myself…
and, sharing it with my buds on Instagram, I decided that I would host a fun online version of the Ugly Christmas Sweater party I’ve always wanted to be invited to!
And then, I decided that I actually kinda like the snowman sweater because it’s so freaking soft inside and it’s not really ugly, ugly, it’s just sorta dorky because it makes me look like I’m 65 (or 6). I decided I was going to keep this sweater (although I vow to never wear it outside of my home so no need to call Stacy & Clinton), and find an even uglier version for the sake of this party-that-is-really-only-happening-online.
Genius that I am, I went to the one place I knew would have the perfectly ugly sweater: the donating stuff for people to buy to earn money for the hospital store (or whatever that place is called). And, sure enough. Kaboom, look who stepped in the room…
Hurrah! (Yep, said in my very best 80s rap master voice)
Maybe not to the ladies ringing me up who deemed it “the cutest little thing”, but for our purposes I’m sure it’s hideous enough.
So, wanna come to my party?!
Just snap a picture of yourself (or your kid if you dress him funny) rocking a hideously fabulous Christmas Sweater and share it with me on Instagram (or Twitter, or Facebook, or email if that’s what floats your boat) by tagging @dumbmom and #UglyXmasSweater.
Then, on Christmas Eve I will post all of your pics here and we will party (and by party I mean sneak off to the bathroom to check out the pics for a brief escape from your crazed mother-in-law who won’t let up about your dry roast)!
No one has to clean anything. Or cook anything. Or even put on pants (although we will have to insist that your photo is above the waist only!). Go ahead and wonder if I’m wearing any.
My friends at Hallmark are coming too and they will be gifting one ugly sweater wearing partier with a Your Sweater is Ugly But We Still Love You Holiday Gift Pack featuring all manner of awesome from the Hallmark line (think Story Buddies and Recordable Story Books her people!).
Just randomly. Because we love you even on your ugly days.
There are rules, but not many, you really can’t regulate bad dressing:
1. I need you to make sure I have the photo before December 24th. All you have to do is tag me in the social media sphere while you’re busy stalking me anyway, OR you can email it to me here: parentingbydummies[at]gmail[dot]com.
2. The photo can be from yesterday or 20 years ago. I don’t care as long as the shot includes a sweater that is ugly.
3. The winner of the Hallmark gift will be randomly selected. So, yeah, doesn’t matter if your sweater is the ugliest, just that you know you should maybe never wear it again.
4. The photo doesn’t have to be of you, but you have to have permission to make fun of the person in it. I mean you don’t have to ask them first, you just have to own the photo. Their bad for letting you snap it!
5. To win the gift, you have to live in the USA. But, any hideously sweatered human can enter the contest.
I will continue to share my ugly sweater finds with you and I hope you’ll share a few with me too!