There are few things that get Dumb Dad excited.
Seriously, he’s just got an extremely laid back personality and a highly undemonstrative face. And possibly, a very small vocabulary of “excitement” words.
As in he has one: Okay.
Basically all of his emotions can be conveyed with that one word.
Let me give you an example of how conversations tend to go between Dumb Dad and I around the Casa.
On home disasters…
Me: Welp, the stupid toilet overflowed and the bathroom flooded.
On kid accomplishments…
Me: Check it out, #1 got straight A’s!
On things I think are awesome…
Me: SeriouslyI’mfreakingthefreakoutrightnow. You’renotevengoingtofreakingbelievewhatjustfreakinghappenedtome. I. Won. A. Free. Freaking. TRIP!
On things EVERYONE thinks are awesome..
Me: I’M PREGNANT!
Him: Okay. Okay. Um, okay.
Okay covers it.
I like to imagine that when I deliver this sort of news that has my going bananas with glee (or fear, or nerves, or whatever) to the point that I am possibly actually catching air while I jump in a circle around him, that he at the very least this guy inside of his head…
Somehow I don’t think so and I have to hope that my over-the-top celebration skills are enough for the both of us.
I’m pretty sure they are.
But, recently, following the crowning of the best team ever 49ers as the 2013 NFC Champions, I called him up at work to deliver some exciting news…
Me: Hey. You know who Patrick Willis is right?
Him: I slept in a jersey with his name on it last night. What kind of a question is that?
Me: I know you know who it is, just kidding. Um, who is it again?
Him: You’re not a real fan. Patrick Willis is pretty much only the best defensive player in the NFL currently. Possibly ever.
Me: Right. Right. That’s what I was thinking. Anyway. I’m getting an autographed football from him. I know that.
Him: Wait. What? What do you mean “autographed”? What do you mean “you’re getting”?
This said in high pitched whisper voice.
Me: Lol. (I did it. Lauged out loud. I didn’t say lol. Because I hate it when people say lol instead of just going ahead and actually lol-ing).
Him: Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny if you’re kidding. This is a cruel joke if you’re kidding. Because I love Patrick Willis. Love him. And if you are serious right now, when it comes I am going to need a moment alone so I can smell it and see if I can catch the sent of his hands. But, if you’re joking or lying or something then you will probably need to go ahead and find a new home later.
Super high pitched whisper voice continues.
Me: Wow, that’s a pretty serious man crush you’ve got there, eh?
Him: Well, I’d probably divorce you for him if that’s what you mean by “man crush”. Unless you’re serious about this football thing and then I will love you forever.
See? That, friends, is how you get your husband to love you forever.
Because, I was serious!
Patrick Willis really did sign a couple of footballs (one my husband happily thinks was signed specifically for him), just like he really did get 12 tackles in their comeback win against the Falcons to clench the championship and help send his team to the Super Bowl (yeah, he’s a beast).
But, Patrick Willis has done a bunch of impressive things in his life (he has one of those really inspirational stories of triumph over adversity), not the least of which is his support of the #TrustYourPower program that sends underprivileged youth to ProCamps every year.
Sheesh, no wonder my husband has a man crush on this guy. He’s all ripped and tasty inspirational and junk.
Enough to get a grown man excited. For quite possibly the very first time in his whole entire life.
What gets you excited?!
**I am a member of a paid campaign with P&G, makers of Duracell Batteries, and I received merchandise and compensation as part of this campaign. All opinions are correct my own. The 49ers really are the best team ever. P&G didn’t tell me that, but I know it.