Are you for scuba?
What about Ben Stiller in Along Came Polly? 2004-ish?
Not ringing any bells?!
Fine, I’m old and I possibly had a pretty unreasonable crush on Ben Stiller at a point in my life I am selecting to forget.
Whatever, the Ben Stiller years are way more understandable than the George Michael years.
I didn’t know, okay! I didn’t know.
Anyway, back to looking stylish.
Recently, BFF regifted me with a scuba dress she’d ordered online for herself.
You know how ordering online can be both a gift and a curse. Because you can do at it your desk or in your bed. You don’t have to wear pants to online shop. You don’t have to suffer through harsh dressing room lighting when you online shop. And, you don’t have to haul unruly youngsters with embarrassing dressing room commentary around with you as you online shop either. Lovely.
But then, should you erroneously select something that doesn’t work you have to make a special trip to the post office.
At the very least you have to find that packing tape you keep buying from Wal-Mart, schedule with UPS to come pick it up, and then actually remember to leave the stupid box on your doorstep before the 30 day return window closes.
Do people even do that?
People I know don’t do that.
And, in this case, such laziness inattention to detail worked in my favor. Score!
So, online-friends-that-I-totally-feel-like-I-know, meet Scuba Dress…
We love each other!
After my dolphin debacle of 2012, I was hesitant to accept said dress, because scuba sounded eerily similar to wet suit and not too awfully far away from spandex (something I gave up in the early 90s with a blood vow to never revisit it again).
And, while there are some elements of scuba that are reminiscent of wet suit (what are wet suits made out of anyway?), I feel like I look loads better in this than I did in that. Loads.
I mean, come on…
Good thing I wasn’t swimming with sharks, no way I’d convince them I wasn’t a seal.
Sidetracked again! Stop laughing now so I can tell you more about the pretty dress instead.
I love the color. And the length. And the little belt thingy and the zipper in the back. and the fact that it is currently on sale for $21!
Plus, it feels good on. Somehow it feels loose and form fitting all at the same time, which totally makes sense if you think about it. And it’s thick which means you could maybe even get away with only one layer of Spanx, or forgo them altogether if you’re nasty.
For the record, I am nasty.