Lunchtime Awesome

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I am just going to go out on a limb here and tell you what I hate about the standard sandwich: pretty much everything.

I hate how lunch meat is slimy after like day two.  I hate how if you leave it in your bag for like 5 seconds from morning until lunch time, the bread starts to get all soggy.  I don’t like too much mayo.  I don’t like mustard at all.  I hate it when the lettuce is wet.  I don’t like overripe tomatoes.  I don’t like regular sliced bread.  It can’t be too cold.  The cheese can’t be room temperature and it also can’t be melted.  Gag.  I need to eat it with chips; not pretzels, not popcorn, not carrot sticks.  Chips.  Plain potato preferably.  I don’t eat my sandwiches toasted (melty cheese again, GAG).  I will only eat PB&J fresh (like 2 seconds after it’s made) and I won’t eat any sandwich made from roast beef or meatballs of any sort. 

I don’t eat Panera sandwiches because I don’t like Panini’s and I don’t eat at Subway unless someone else goes there and brings me something back because I don’t like how it smells. 

Yeah, I really live like this.

I admit that I may have a problem and that there is a really strong possibility that none of you will ever invite me for lunch.  That’s fine.  I’m more of a breakfast girl anyway.

The people at Hidden Valley Ranch seem to understand that there are picky sandwich people like me around.

People who won’t take a bite without lifting the corner of the bread with the tip of their index finger and thumb to inspect the offerings.

Normally, I don’t eat sandwiches I make at home (aside from tuna salad, I make a slammin’ tuna sandwich and it doesn’t have to meet any of the aforementioned standards), but when the Hidden Valley Ranch sandwich spreads showed up, I was inspired to make a little sandwich magic.

The right bread, fresh meat, dry lettuce, tomatoes straight from #3’s garden, freshly fried bacon, and a little bacon ranch spread (honestly, you can never have too much bacon) combined to make a tasty sandwich I can eat without gagging.  I even, dare I say, LIKED it.

I’m not prepared to say I’m an official homemade sandwich eater now, but there is hope!  And, most importantly, the Dudes love it. 

Want to make a little lunchtime magic?

Keep it simple.

Bread, meat, lettuce, tomato, bacon, Hidden Valley sandwich spread of your choosing, and voila.  Lunch is served…

Hidden Valley’s line of new Sandwich Spreads & Dips will take your boring sandwich routine to another level. With new flavors like Spicy Chipotle Pepper and Oven Roasted Garlic Parmesan, your mouth will be thanking you and you’ll be on your way to delivering sandwich-envy.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Hidden Valley Ranch. The opinions and text are all mine.


  1. says

    I’m a sandwich snob too. I don’t like baguettes because they’re hard. I don’t like hard bread. Or even cwawsawnts really but that’s a different reason. As for bread, I know white bread is bad for us but I really do just need plain old white bread for a sandwich. Or like a Martin’s hamburger bun or roll but NOT THEIR BREAD. I know. Weird. And I do need certain chips with certain sandwiches but I’ve opened myself up to chip variety because of the chip conossieur my middle girl has become. I don’t feel like checking to see if I spelled conossieur correctly.

    I don’t like cold cuts AT ALL. I love the smell of Subway because mmmmmm bread. But I don’t want it toasted. I don’t like Quizno’s because of toasted everything. No. No meatball subs because I don’t want soggy bread. But these dressings I will try (typically I’m a Miracle Whip or spicy mustard OR BOTH girl only BUT I’m being open because that spicy chipotle pepper one looks right delicious).