Friday Night Tykes: Youth Football Meets Reality TV.

There are few things that I see on television that really get to me.

I know what TV is about: entertainment money.

Networks need it to survive, just like all the rest of us.  Producers know that.  Everyone involved in the process of creating a ratings worthy TV shows know that.

Viewers, inherently, know that too.

Everyone who has ever watched a reality show for more than just two seconds realizes that TV reality is not the exact same thing as reality reality.

You know, mostly.

The thing about it is that as viewers, sometimes we forget.  That’s a luxury we have while we sit on our couches and laugh or cry or laugh-cry in our jammie pants.

We forget that things like editing and the creative process play a role in the creation of a television show.

We forget that the people involved in the process (from the “talent” to the network) have an agenda, good, bad, or otherwise, to promote.  That there is an angle.  A story theme.  A something that the viewer is expected to take from the hour or hours they devoted to watching the thing in the first place.

And, we forget that what we see on TV is not reality.  Not reality, reality anyway.

This is one of the many reasons Friday Night Tykes, the Esquire Network’s new docuseries on youth football in Texas, made me want to throw up on my lap and then punch my TV in the face when I saw the premiere episode last week.

Honestly, I found so many elements of the show so gut wrenchingly disturbing that I almost didn’t even want to call additional attention to the nightmare by writing about it.

I know what happens when someone like myself blogs or Tweets or Facebooks (totally it’s a verb) about something.  People search for it, and find it, and maybe watch it even, giving the network exactly what they want: the viewership (aka the money) to keep the show alive.

I don’t want that.  I want the show to die.  In a fiery inferno preferably.  But, quick and painless will do too.

Why is my passion so ignited over this?

So many reasons actually.

First, the kids.  As an educator, as a parent, and as a human-freaking-being I can’t even begin to understand why grown men would behave the way the coaches of the children on the show behaved.  Or why the parents of the children they are tasked with coaching would allow such behavior.

I get intensity.  I get expecting perfection.  I even get a desire to win by creating a team that is physically and mentally superior to all of their competitors.  What I don’t get is how the coaches on that show intend to accomplish those goals by behaving with such little integrity and by treating the children with less respect than I give to my four legged family member.

I hate when adults are morally negligent when it comes to children in their care.  Most of the kids on those (and all) youth football teams will end their careers in the sport before they even reach the age of majority.  Few of them will actually go on to play professional or even college level athletics, but all of them will go on to be members of society.

It is sad that those given the opportunity to provide guidance to those youngsters who one day hope to be leaders in our nation aren’t able to see this as an opportunity to inspire them to be amazing people.  By being amazing role models.  By teaching them that you have to give respect to get it.  By showing them the importance of integrity, honor, good sportsmanship, and having a strong English vocabulary.  By keeping them SAFE on the football field.

Kids don’t need to be yelled at, talked down to, or ridiculed to perform.  It doesn’t matter if they’re used to it.  It doesn’t matter if they’re hardheaded.  It doesn’t even matter what their mamas do.

But, let’s say you’re all good with the shouting.  Maybe the cursing and the threatening and the degradation don’t bother you.  Fine, crazy person.  Encouraging nine year olds to cause intentional bodily injury to other nine year olds is senseless.  And entirely unsafe.

Now, let’s talk about what this does to the game of football.  It hurts my heart to think that viewers who may or may not understand the beauty of the game will be tainted by the ugly we see on display in this show.  Friday Night Tykes embodied pretty much everything bad that people have ever said about football, and virtually none of the good.

It didn’t show how becoming a part of a team can help a boy find his place in the world.  It didn’t describe how a child’s confidence and passion can be ignited when they go on the field and work with a team to accomplish a goal.  It didn’t focus on the beautiful, life long relationships that can be created on the field.  They didn’t show a single kid who went to Disney World and brought back gifts for his three best friends, one of which was his head coach.

They showed winning at all costs.  And how doing so matters more than being a good person.

Don’t get it twisted, the league my sons play for is a competitive level league and we like to get our win on, and it’s something that we do, quite well in fact.  But, for us, football is not about winning and losing.  It’s not about pain or injury.  It’s about teamwork, integrity, and grit.  It’s about pushing yourself and your teammates to be better, on the field and off.  It’s about being a member of a community and a part of something special.  And, it’s about heart; having one and growing one.

Something the people behind this show should probably look into doing.

Want to learn more about how the show is being perceived by those of us in the business of protecting youth football players?  See what USA Football had to say about it here: USA Football on Friday Night Tykes and another tidbit from the people at ESPN on Friday Night Tykes.


  1. Ashley says

    I caught this show on last night and I was flabbergasted by what I saw. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Who is recruiting 3 year olds to play football? Do the parents not realize what kind of damage this will attribute to their children down the line? All the concussions, injuries will rear their ugly heads as adults and this will be to blame. Children should be busy being children and having fun.

  2. says

    While I haven’t seen the show, I know exactly what you mean. Jack’s hockey team (travel) had a tournament this past weekend. One of the teams we played was down right dirty. And just so mind blowing-ly mean. Honestly? They were good enough without all of that to win. The fact that they were good, but so damn mean just floored me. Our kids didn’t even know what to do on the ice. We don’t play like that. We play with class and integrity. I’m so glad our kids didn’t fall to their level. It sure was tempting. And I don’t know how as parents, you allow your child to act like that. Or promote it by supporting them on that particular team with those coaches.

    One boy fell to the ice and laid there, swinging his stick around like it was batting practice, trying to hit ANYONE he could reach. I told Jack after the game that if I ever saw him intentionally do something like that, I would beat his butt. It’s just uncalled for. And to promote that nastiness on TV? Why???

  3. Dawn Bibbs says

    I think I’ve seen an advertisement for Friday Night Tykes once. And, being the parent of a 12 year old athlete, I was appalled! As Jessica T Says mentions, this show is no different that those dance shows for the little girls. I hate to pull the race card here…but I’ll be good about it :-). I wish another adult WOULD talk to my daughter the way that chick talks to those little girls! But back to the subject at hand…the way you have described what youth sports are SUPPOSED to be about is dead on! It’s supposed to be a learning experience for kids. To teach them to “play well with others”, the be respectful of others, to learn to win AND lose, and to be a good sport when learning all the aforementioned things. My daughter has played soccer since she was 3 years old (she’s 12 now). And during that time, I have only had ONE issue with a coach. But that was short lived once we dealt with it…as GROWN UPS!!! I hope this show, Friday Night Tykes, doesn’t make it! And I pray that any and all youth sports programs that are indulging in this type of behavior take heed and change their ways. Thanks, Dumb Mom, for speaking out about this.

  4. says

    What you said, that’s what football is supposed to be about. I’m sure there are some leagues in Texas like the one portrayed on the show (maybe not that bad), but the majority are not. At least not at that age.

  5. Jessica T says

    That is awful. I hate those shows. And the dance ones they have with little girls. It’s horrible to me how adults will speak to children, especially other people’s children.Group activities are supposed to build confidence and friendships not tear kids down. So annoying to me, and I feel like I read a post the other day by someone who liked this same show… I just can’t imagine letting someone be that way to my kid. I want good roll models, positive influences.
    Whoa..sorry for the rant! :)