If Google landed you on my page today because of a search you did for how to lose weight fast, or drop 10lbs this week or something equally ridiculous, we need to have a talk.
First, unless you are a professional boxer, or wrestler, or some other highly skilled athlete who needs to be ready for a competitive activity with a weight qualification of some sort within the next seven days (and we both know you’re not, otherwise you’d already know how to drop weight quickly and you wouldn’t be at home Google searching it because you’d be busy running circles around your neighborhood with a garbage bag on), there is no good, healthy, or safe reason why you would even need to lose 10lbs by the end of this week.
And, if you did pull off this feat, know that every single ounce of whatever poundage you dropped will be making it’s way straight back to you by this time Monday.
So, want to know how you lose 10lbs this week?
You don’t really want that anyway. You want to be healthier. You want to feel better. You want to buy that super cute dress that you saw at H&M and not have it be all tight on the arms.
Listen to me on this one, I know you I totally don’t know you; you want a new lifestyle, and this is how you get one…
How to Lose 10 Pounds and Keep It Off
1. Buy a super cute notebook. Or a composition book. Or use your arm if you don’t plan to bathe this week, I don’t care. The goal here is to chronicle what you put in your gullet. Chances are you need to get real about what you eat. Not what you tell your husband you eat. Not what you eat when you go to lunch with your co-workers. What you really eat. Including the stuff you down when you’re hiding from your kids in the garage. Then, work on overhauling that. Less processed foods. Less fatty foods. Less you’re-not-even-hungry-you’re-thirsty foods. Just eat less food. And, make what you do eat better. More nutritious options, less peanut butter cups and soda.
2. Stop hating the Twerk. I know, we were all appalled by Miley Cyrus and her tongue VMA performance. It was uncomfortable, and offensive, and weird. Miley has issues. But, you know what Miley doesn’t have? A muffin top! Those of us who spent time in a hip hop club or two in the late 90s can easily tell you that a) Miley did NOT invent Twerking, and b) twerking is working. If you do it right, it works your thighs and your back and your abs and your everything. If you hate it that much, use it to punish yourself. Tell yourself that for every insert personal favorite fat making snack you eat you will have to Twerk thru Miley’s We Can’t Stop. So, 4 Oreo cookies would roughly translate into 16 minutes of Miley. I guarantee this will change your life. You will either give up aforementioned fat making snack entirely to avoid Miley, or have the banging booty from your dreams. Win-Win!
3. Stay healthy. Sick people don’t work out because they don’t feel good, they feel, uh, sick! Wash your hands, take your vitamins, eat an apple, get plenty of sleep, and drink lots of water. And, if you encounter someone who seems sick, avoid them like the plague, because they may actually have it (plague=flu in 2014).
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his post is part of the HEALTHY ESSENTIALS® 2014 program by Johnson & Johnson Consumer Companies, Inc. and The Motherhood, who sent me a box of products and compensated me for my time. Opinions, experiences and photos shared here are all my own, and I hope you enjoy them.