Four years ago we got new windows.
We wanted to upgrade from the drafty wooden framed ones to the hi-tech-ish vinyl ones for energy saving and sassiness.
We’ve been window naked since then.
Funnily enough, I wasn’t super bothered by my lack of window coverings and the whole it-looks-like-you-just-moved-in vibe of my family room.
It bothered my mother endlessly (“It’s like you live in a warehouse!” and “The whole neighborhood can SEEEEEE you!”), but I truly just wasn’t super motivated to change things (I live in a nut house, so sort of the same echo-y, creeptastic vibe of a warehouse, and also, my whole neighborhood doesn’t give two cares about seeing me.).
I do appreciate a nicely decorated home though. I wanted my house to look lived in and cared about. I wanted people to come over and think something other than, sticky-counters-scuffed-walls-DOG-HAIR-clutter-clutter-and-loud-always-so-loud.
I balked so many times at investing in quality window coverings. I figured my dog would just tear whatever draperies I chose off the wall when she started attacking the window to get at the squirrels. And then so much commitment! What if I get that new couch I want? Or paint my walls? Or buy a new rug? Or want to look outside? Or enjoy sunlight? Or get sick of the blinds I choose?
Widow dressing is expeeeeeensive.
What then, huh?
The dog issue has yet to be solved; she’s a beast.
As for paint, I (and by I I mean the people I paid) painted my entire interior two years ago and went neutral (surprise!). Recently, I decided a rug is a dumb idea because then the dog lays all over it and makes it all hairy and gross, and I’ve accepted that I’m never gonna get a new couch because, daaaaang, three thousand dollars?!
I do enjoy the sunlight, but even that is being wrestled from me thanks to that fact that the money hungry developers in my hood cut down my forest and put a house in behind mine. I basically never want to look out my back windows again. Or dance naked through my living room again. Because last time I got the urge to twerk through the MTV Music Awards Miley Cyrus style I looked up and made eye contact with my new neighbors. Thankfully I was fully dressed but I swear we can never be friends.
Life as we know it is basically over, and window coverings officially became a necessity.
Blinds.com to the rescue!
They helped me pick out a great set of honeycomb shades that keep people from seeing my naked dance parties provide privacy while also allowing me to get sunlight, and look outside if the mood strikes me.
They’re the two tone kind; sheer on the top, not sheer on the bottom.
Plus, I love that I can push them up from the bottom so during the day Beast can launch herself at the window to scare away the vermin as she sees fit, or I can pull them down so that they are all the way sheer, or push them up so that they are all the way not sheer. So many options!
Best part of all?
The designer that helped me pick the best fit. She looked at my room and my windows (they offer this video chat design service that totally takes the guesswork out of the process), listened to me moan about color, and dogs, and the lack of sunlight I get in my dungeon like home, my issues with commitment, and my need for twerking privacy, and then she helped me come up with the very best window covering solution to solve all of those problems.
I danced to Come Get it Bae for 30 minutes in my living room last night and the only people who saw were, um, no, only the dog saw, my husband and children refused to look at me.
So much happiness.
Now, if someone can help me fix this wall I might actually feel like a grown up…
A photo collage? Paint it? Put up shelving? A mirror? Let The Dudes go to town with some spray paint Banksy style???
Disclosure: I am a member of the Blinds.com blogger program which means I get to experience their products without charge and challenge their marketing team to a dance off when I see them at Starbucks and stuff. I’ve never seen them at Starbucks.