HersheyPark in Hershey, PA has thirteen roller coasters.
You guys, I don’t ride roller coasters.
Okay, I do.
Sort of. But not as a general rule.
I go to Disney World once a year (yes, I am here now!) and I ride everything in that place (minus the Tower of Terror because, hello, that is not even a roller coaster, it is an elevator of evil designed to make you think you could actually die) under an agreement with my children that I will sacrifice myself thusly on their behalf.
It is a tradition. It is a commitment. And it is fun for my children and random strangers to laugh at me while I do it.
I like bringing joy to people, I am a giver like that.
However, outside of that, I do not ride roller coasters.
Unless I am bribed (with actual cash), tricked, or in some other way coerced.
And, just keeping it real, it’s not because I get sick.
I do not get sick.
I just get scared. Ridicule me if you must, I am talking real life here. Because I am unable to be sensible in the face of this fear. It is a fear so great that I always scream and sometimes, depending, I cry.
I know, that’s the fun part, Amanda. That’s why people like it Amanda.
While some people enjoy the adrenaline rush they experience while engaging in such activities, for me, adrenaline mostly only rushes when my brain, rational or no, believes there is a chance that it might die. When my body moves more quickly than humanly possible, you need to know that the I-might-die adrenaline kicks into over drive. And, unlike many others, chance-I-might-die-I-might-die-I-might-die is not synonymous with holy-crap-this-is-SO-much-fun.
But, that doesn’t mean I don’t find amusement parks amusing.
I’m amused by watching my family enjoy rides while I happily hold the bags and look through the ride themed gift shops. I’m amused by eating snacks that you can only allow yourself to enjoy while inside of such establishments and, every now and then I find a roller coaster or “roller coaster like contraption” that I can manage to get onto and off of without the adrenaline hitting the disturbing I-might-die-I-might-die-I-might-die level.
During my most recent visit to Hershey, PA, we stopped over for a visit to HersheyPark. I’ve been previously but most of my time on those visits was spent minding the stroller bound child too short to enjoy the more aggressive thrill rides.
Not a problem.
He’d sleep, I’d have an ice cream in the shade, all was right with the world.
This time, I was without an excuse a too short youngster to mind and, the lovely women accompanying me on this excursion convinced me that a teeny weenie roller coaster experience was what I needed.
For the record, when you’re me, there is no such thing as a teeny weenie roller coaster
I plan to revisit the park this summer with my Dude clan in tow. Everyone is tall enough to ride most things now, but I will still be sitting on the sidelines, amusing myself with the gift shops and sucking down ice cream cones while they hit the rides.
For those eager to try the roller coasting action available among the 13 coasters in the park, they’ve ranked their thrill level to help you prepare your mind for the madness.
Because I know I’m not the only person on the planet living that scared life, I decided to rank them myself using the system below.
Know Before You Go: Hershey Park Rides Rating System for Scared People
*Disclosure: I visited HersheyPark as part of a blogger immersion tour courtesy of Hershey, PA. All irrational fears and opinions are my own.