I’m going on a diet.
Let me rephrase that.
I am changing my diet.
Okay, that’s not quite right either. Deep breath…
IjoinedWeightWatcherslastMondayandIamaweekintothisthingandIamstarvingandscaredandtotallystarving.
Okay. I said. It’s out there in the universe now so I have to make this work because I hate failing with an audience. I prefer secretly failing, in a dark corner, alone, if I’m going to fail at something.
But, before I jump into why this has to work, let me just tell you a little bit about why it hasn’t been.
Since 2008 and I have lost and gained a whole bunch of weight.
More than I even want to admit to.
When I went in to give birth to #3 I weighed 212lbs. This is me then (or close to then)…
212 is a whole lot of pounds. Particularly when you throw those pounds on the frame of a 5 foot 3 inch chick. Plus, I sorta, kinda, almost look like cabbage patch kid.
I felt round, and disgusting, and um, round. Because I was.
I joined Weight Watchers when he was 4 months old and, over the course of about 6 months, I lost all of my baby weight and more. When I hopped on the scale one afternoon and it only went up to 155lbs, I did an Irish jig, with full on heel clicking, just because I could. This was me, then…
Dude, look at those slim arms!
Now, that still made me technically overweight. And, it still wasn’t my final goal weight (which I never met because my weight loss busted a u-ey right about here). But it was a far cry from 212, and it had me wearing pants with a one digit size for the first time in years.
I was happy with my new hotness.
I felt good. I know I looked good (insert neck roll and duck lips). And, best of all, I was healthy. Eating right and even working out (I was running about 6 miles, 4 times a week).
And then my membership to Weight Watchers ended. And, I suffered a minor running injury. And, the holidays came. And I started eating fudge and drinking hot chocolate by the fire. And, yeah, I fell off the wagon.
I have been dragging behind that thing ever since.
And now, here we are 3 years later and I’ve gained a good, strong-but-wiggly 20lbs. This is me now…
I am currently weighing in at 175lbs of woman.
That friends, is a lot of woman. And me no likey.
I feel slow and unhealthy. I breathe heavy when I walk far (and by far I mean a block to the school bus stop), and I sweat hard when I breathe heavy. Which means, I sweat, a lot.
I can’t wear the clothing I want, my back has boobs, and I am scared to pieces to have my blood glucose checked because I don’t want to know if I am a borderline diabetic (it’s rampant in my family so there’s a good chance).
Hard to look cute when you feel like puke all the time.
And, since cuteness is clearly top of my list for things I seriously want to be in life, things have got to change.
So, I’m going back to what I know works: Weight Watchers.
I walked at least 3 miles a weekend ago (while wearing a 25lb back pack and pulling a 40lb suitcase through throngs of people on the packed street of NYC, thank you Roo!), and I’ve been damn near starving on The Plan since last Monday morning.
I’m motivated, I’m in the right frame of mind, I spent the weekend stuffing my face with deliciousness at NASCAR, and I am ready to do this.
I’ve even gotten Dumb Dad to sponsor me! Every lb I lose, he gives me 5 bucks. Which means, should I lose my entire 20lbs that man will owe me a Benjamin. And I will but a pair of shoes.
We all know I will do just about anything for shoes: work out, watch what I eat, give up midweek cupcakes.
Obviously I’d love to have you join me, because misery loves company as the SITS Girls would say, the secret to success is support.
As I’m currently in the throws of sugar withdraw and sitting on my butt all day withdraw and I can’t-even-stand-to-look-at-Pinterest-because-of-all-of-the-tasty-goodness withdraw, I’m going to need all of the support I can get. I’m thinking about starting a Facebook group. Or a Pin Board of healthy but still yummy recipes. Or a commune where we can go get massages after our low-impact-but-highly-effective workouts, and have healthy, nearly-calorieless juices served to us by hot boys in cute board shorts who are also in charge of entertainment…
pBd Admits It’s Free: I am NOT getting compensated to lose weight. But seriously, if that gift horse came trotting along I wouldn’t even think about looking it in the mouth. I did receive a complimentary 3-month online membership to the Weight Watchers site to help make my journey to Slender McHottiness easier.
Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? says
You go girl! I just started Jenny Craig this week and I feel like I’m always wanting to eat. And, I’m sure it’s not because I’m hungry, it’s because I’m restricted!
Jennifer says
1. I totally did the neck roll and duck lips when I read that part.
2. I believe in you. I know you can do it.
3. Zumba (mentioned above) is a blast, and as much as you love to dance you would love it. We have places here where that is all they teach and it isn’t that expensive, like $5 a week. So you can do that a couple of times a week and then something else on the other days like walk or ride a bike or chase unruly children… oh wait. Maybe that’s just my kids.
4. I have a whole WW recipe board on Pinterest from back when I was on it a year ago (it was totally working, but I have some kind emotional/mental/lazy issues to work on and I quit going).
Deb says
It totally gets easier after two weeks! I hope you can stick it out. It definitely works. Says the person who goes on it and off it so frequently it’s embarrassing. :)
Dumb Mom says
Lol! That makes you an expert then. Especially because you keep doing the hardest part over and over. I have to stick with it for the full 3 months. Says the person who figured out that I could technically eat an entire apple pie in one day as long as I don’t eat anything else. I mean, according to the points breakdown…
Deb says
Wow, I never thought about it like that, but you’re right. I guess I’m a glutton for punishment!
Apple pie… mmmmmm
Marta says
GOOD GOOD LUCK.
I completely know the struggle. In 2009 I lost 30 lbs. I was at my thinnest, hottest ever. I wore a size 4 Gap Jeans. Seriously (I’m absurdly proud of that). Then I got pregnant and the rest is history (covered in double stuf oreos and cheese fries). I keep thinking about doing it again. I did it once, so its possible. But it was so much work. I don’t know if I have it in me. I would totally be your virtual partner this. I need someone to hold me accountable!
lauren says
Hey girlfriend,
Kick butt and you got this! Oh, here is a Glutenfree/Sugarfree blog with some recipes…I’ve tried a couple of things.
http://simplysugarandglutenfree.com/recipes/
-Lauren
Dumb Mom says
Thanks for the link! I will SO be checking that out!
lauren says
Hey girlfriend,
Sugarfree/Glutenfree: http://simplysugarandglutenfree.com/recipes/
The recipes are pretty decent if you wanted to try something different. Proud of you for going back to what worked for ya, you got this!
-Lauren
Jennifer says
I love you, did you know that? And I love WW because it works, and I have been on (and off) it since 2006. I fell off the wagon some months (coughayearcough) ago. But I got back on track TODAY because of YOU and this post – and NOT because of Jennifer Hudson, who I once met in passing and almost sang the WW theme to her because I was so excited – ANYWAY – I’m tired of looking in the mirror and seeing all of my aunts staring back at me (not to say they aren’t beautiful, but, well, I, uh, don’t want to look them!)! You inspired me! Good luck on this journey, and prepare yourself in case you get HANGRY. It will pass. ;-)
vanessa says
YOU CAN DO THIS! Ok, I know, I said that already. But you can! I was totally in your shoes a year ago. Ok, maybe not literally, because that would be creepy. But two kids, and years of my love of baking, and poof, suddenly I found myself weighing more then my hubby! Like his sweat pants were tight on me. (I cringe) If my butt can do it, any one can!
Zumba is awesome for a workout. I bought it for the wii, so I can do it in the comfort of my home after all the kiddos have gone to bed, and because I have no rythm, and my arms kinda flap around like an I dunno what so I’m a little scared to do it in public, but realy it’s awesome. It doesn’t feel like you are working out. Skinny cows are great when you’re craving something sweet, and pinterest said you can make ice cream out of a frozen banana so that’s no points. (I’m dying to try it)
You can do it!
Dumb Mom says
Zumba for Wii! That’s great idea. And it’s not only scary but also expensive to do it in public. Oh, and Pinterest knows everything!
Ashleigh says
I have tried both the banana “ice cream” and the Zumba…love them both! I add a teaspoon of mini chips to it and a dollop of ff cool whip…it’s amazing. The Smart Ones cookie dough sundaes are sooo tasty also. Zumba is fun to do with the kids…it will make you sweat! I got my Wii Fit on Craigslist for $15, brand new and Zumba on Amazon. Super cheap way to go!
Ashley M. says
YES! YOU CAN DO THIS!
I to am 5’3, I weighed in at 170lbs a few months ago… I felt like the blob, and people had no problems poking fun at me for my chubby face, and pregnant looking belly (im not pregnant). Theres been a few times where I have sat in the bathroom, or stood in the shower just balling my eyes out. I joined my fitness pal, started to lose weight when I started counting calories, and managed to drop 10lbs… then I gained 5lbs and haven’t looked since. I’ve cut my portion sizes again, and I’ve been going for little walks, I will be weighing in when I go back to my parents house. You are an inspiration, and there are others like you who feel the same. Together we can all do this. And shut those hurtful feelings and words away :) GOOD LUCK sweety. You are Beautiful!
Dumb Mom says
Thank you! I tried fitness pal before this. It was too time consuming and I just got frustrated with it. Fingers crossed this works again!
TheKitchenWitch says
Can I just say that in that first photo, you do not at all look over 200 pounds? I think you look beautiful. It’s so funny, because I think other people look great and yet if I gain a few, I’m absolutely convinced that everyone thinks I’m a disgusting creature.
That said, good for you. My husband is the workout freak in the house–he’s more of a girl about his body than I am. Maybe I need to get on board with the “pay for pound” system. I could use a nice pair of shoes.
Looking forward to hearing all about it. ps: Laughing Cow Light cheese wedges are genius. Put ’em on low-fat Triscuits or a good crisp apple. It’s saved my arse many a time when all I want is Cheetos.
Dumb Mom says
Aaaaaah, Cheetos. And my husband is too. He lifts weights every night. And probably flexes his muscles while kissing them in the bathroom after he showers. I don’t know, but it’s easy and fun for him. It’s hard and exhausting and annoying for me. I like to eat popcorn and watch Vampire Diaries for fun.
Arnebya says
Yay you! You look amazing now but I’m glad that if you don’t like it you’re doing something about it. Just know that it’s not always weight that makes us feel slow. I am considered underweight but I promise you sluggishness is a bitch I hate. I feel like I’m…trudging. That’s the perfect word. Can’t wait to cheerlead for you!
Dumb Mom says
Thank you! And I’m so fast when I’m lighter it’s not even funny. I book man, for real. Let me lose 20lbs and we can race!
Bridget @ Le. Rheims says
You are dropping a whole lotta inspiration on this 5′ 3″ 190-lbs-before-she-got-pregnant-for-the-seventh-time gal right here. I think I weighed in at 219.8 (and yes, it matters that it wasn’t quite 220) last check up. I was 155 the day I got married, over 8 years ago, and it’s not that I’ve gone up with each pregnancy. It’s more that I went up way too much with the first, and never quite came down all the way, so I started up higher with the rest even though I didn’t gain that much until this time around. Oh, and I have a thyroid issue apparently (which is why I’m saying the 6 days of week of Zumba for 2 months straight didn’t help me lose a pound).
So, you keep at it. And when the baby girl gets here in December, and I dutifully wait my 6-8 weeks afterwards, I will be walking right beside you (metaphorically speaking, b/c I live in NJ and you don’t).
Let’s do this thing.
Dumb Mom says
Same! I gained less with each kid, I just started out higher every time. So, I was the EXACT same weight on delivery day with all three of The Dudes. The first time I gained like 70lbs, the second two times it was more like 50 and 40.
Jen @ Cuddles and Chaos says
OK, first of all I can’t decide which made me laugh more: Cabbage Patch Kid or my back has boobs. Hilarity.
Also, high five for making it through the first week. That’s seriously the toughest part. I lost a good twenty pounds on WW a few years ago and know that that’s what I need to do to shed the last 15 pounds of baby weight that I just can’t shake. You may have inspired me to get my hubs to give me some cash for each pound I lose and finally put down the Nutella. I know I need to. I just have to do it!!!
Dumb Mom says
I had to et everything yummy in my house before I started. It was the only way. My version of a cleanse :).
Amy says
Oh man, we could be twins. I did WW 4 years ago, lost 30+lbs and two kids later, I gained it back plus 10, and I can’t use the kids as a reason because they’re adopted. I went to the doctor last week and found out I had gained 22lbs in the last year and I know I have to make major changes so I’m headed back to the points. I have some lady issues that don’t help things but I’m your size and feeling the same. I want to be body positive and wish I could be fine with it but this is just too much extra for my self esteem. Good luck and if you have a support group I’d love to join. This bag of peanut brittle staring at me from my counter is doing terrible things to my brain right now.
Dumb Mom says
I feel your pain. I actually need to go get this whole thyroid thing checked out; my doctor told me to do it a while ago, haven’t quite gotten around to it. I’d like to think that wanting to lose weight and feel good to look good mean I have awesome self esteem, like I care enough to want to change. Or, I just tell myself that so I don’t have to admit I am a self loathing loser. Either way, as long as I lose 20lbs I don’t even care and my self esteem will be awesome when I do! I will be working on a group this week! We need help kicking peanut brittle in the neck!
Kmama says
You can do this. I know you can.
After losing the 28 lbs (and still wasn’t quite yet at my goal weight) and then getting pregnant, I kind of freaked out at first about weight. Apparently that’s not so much of an issue anymore, because I’m kind of on the opposite spectrum. I’m eating anything and everything that comes my way (shame on me). I know it’s going to be hell taking it back off after having this little munchkin, but I guess my mind isn’t quite accepting that fact yet because I continue to eat.
Dumb Mom says
Yeah, I keep trying to tell myself that I’m happy I’m not ever gonna have another baby because I don’t want to gain weight and have to lose it. Only, I know, I wouldn’t care. And, I’d be happy to have a baby to nurse to help take off the weight (that’s how I did it before; Weight Watchers will nursing works better than um, meth, and you won’t die or go to jail). So, if you need a wet nurse…
Roo @ NiceGirlNotes says
Ahahaha I had no idea how heavy your backpack was until I tried picking it up. I kind of feel badly about the “WE’RE GONNA WALK!!” idea. A little bit.
I LOL’ed hard at the Cabbage Patch kid reference.
I would like to match Dumb Dad’s sponsorship! I, too, will give you five dollaz every time you lose a pound, so when you reach your goal, you can buy a pair of shoes and a new dress! Okay, maybe a new dress on sale, but whatever.
Cheering you on from CT!
Dumb Mom says
I heart you and your evil I’m-gonna-make-her-exercise-or-barf-in-this-street-no-matter-what attitude! Really got me motivated, but not as much as this whole buy me a dress thingy:)