Children of the corn. Anyone remember that movie?
It featured a host of inbred, demon spawn children slaughtering people in the backwoods boonies.
I recall some weirdly sharp and misshapen farm tools, lots of blood, and children who looked so spooky I wouldn’t want to sit by them in third grade.
Probably I would LOL if I found myself watching it now (which, for the record, due to PTSD like symptoms, will never happen) as is the case with so many other movies I see now from the 80s. Not the case however, when I found myself in front of it at 9.
It happened at my grandma’s house, probably about 1986, courtesy of my older, and clearly dead inside, cousins. It took every single power my 8 year old bladder had not to pee all over my grandma’s couch as I pretended to not be scared senseless in front of the big kids.
There have only been a handful of films that have scared me that thoroughly and to this day I do not really trust farms or farmers or corn or unattended children in open areas surrounded by grass or Nebraska or West Virginia because even though it has no tie to the movie, sometimes, when I visit my parents, I feel a Children of the Corn vibe there and I just can’t live.
Something about every horror movie popular in the 80s ruined me from enjoying the genre for the rest of life. Maybe it was my age? Or, maybe it was that Jack Nicholson slaughtering people with his crazy eyes and murderous twin sidekicks, and a demon possessed child letting her head do a 360 on her neck, and some girl getting sucked into her TV while her brother is attacked by a clown is really, seriously some scary crap.
I haven’t tested the theory with any of these legit spooky flicks on my own children (because I am not evil like my parents apparently were –they took me to the drive-in to see Cujoe you guys), but my mother (OF COURSE) did show them Gremlins and Dude 3 determined that he will never, EVER watch some old scary movie with Mimi again.
So, when everyone else starts their spooky prep for Halloween season, we like to get in the mood with some less soul shaking options. Here are our favorite Halloween movies for kids…
10 Not So Scary Halloween Movies for Kids Who Are Fraidy Cats
Casper. The one with Christina Ricci. It is saved on the DVR and the Dudes love it. It’s funny and sweet and not a lot of scary.
The Adams Family. And The Addams Family Values. Clearly we have a thing for the Ricci girl. And humor washing our scary things.
Ernest Scared Stupid. We have an entire Ernest anthology over here. With this one, there were maybe two moments Dude 3 covered his eyes. For the most part it’s Ernest being Ernest.
Hocus Pocus. It’s Disney AND Bette Midler, you know this movie is awesome. Also, if you haven’t seen it I feel like we maybe can’t be friends.
Haunted Mansion. It’s funny because the Eddie Murphy I grew up with was Raw and like not child friendly AT ALL, but he is one of The Dudes’ favorite actors (Nutty Professor, Doctor Doolittle). Later edition Eddie Murphy made some kid friendly gems. Haunted Mansion is one of them.
Monster House. This one actually ebbs into scary a little more than the others. There are some jump-out-and-scare-you moments and some of the depictions and story line elements are legit frightening. Dude 3 hasn’t seen this one all the way through (he usually puts the pillow over his face and then wanders off to play Legos), but it’s not nightmares-sleep-with-mom spooky.
ParaNorman. I find this one to be just weird. Maybe the right word is slightly macabre? Good movie, lots of lessons, and the animation is great.
Hotel Transylvania. And part 2 (which just recently came out). Dude 3 LOVES these movies. We’ve probably seen the first one 20 times and he has the second one on his wish list for download the moment it hits the iTunes store.
Beetlejuice. A little scary. At times inappropriate (Beetlejuice is a freak and he hangs out at a brothel sometimes). Totally a classic. It’s good for older kids and Dudes 1 & 2 (they’re almost 14 and 10), thought it was great. Dude 3 came in for all of the dancing parts and made me rewind them.
It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Family favorite classic. Must watch with kids of all ages if you want them to grow up to be decent people.
Check them all out here…