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November 10, 2015 by: DudeMom

10 Times Pumpkin Spice Made Me The Saddest Person Ever

Pumpkin spice you guys.

When did it became such a thing.

And how? And, really, whhhhy?!

Personally, I am not a fan of pumpkin in any form and that includes a spice people sprinkle all over perfectly non-pumpkiny and delicious foods that do not need to be messed with.

The only way I can even stomach the stuff is when it is being used to scent a room I am enjoying for brief periods of time. Never should it touch my tongue or enter my belly.

I kinda even feel like it’s ruining fall for me. There are few things that make me actually wish for winter: the leaves people keep asking me to rake, the fact that I may leave my house in a dress and a cardigan and be freezingly wishing for a parka and pants before I make it back home, and now, pumpkin spice.

All of the sadness.
pumpkin spice

10 Times Pumpkin Spice Made Me the Saddest Person Ever

When I went to Panera for breakfast and all they had were pumpkin spice muffins left.

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When I got all excited because my friend surprised me with a treat from Starbucks, and then discovered that it was not in a Christmas cup sike, I don’t care just give me coffee please a pumpkin spice latte and I had to drink it and smile so as to not hurt her feelings.

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When I went to Dunkin Donuts and got a mixed box of Munchkins and the pumpkin flavored ones rubbed all over the ones I actually like.

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When I went to Costco and the jumbo crumb muffins had been changed to Pumpkin Spice jumbo crumb muffins. Because jumbo is never good with pumpkin spice rubbed all over it.

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When I sprinkled cinnamon on my latte at Starbucks and it was really pumpkin spice because some jerkwad employee had put the pumpkin spice in the same container and the same location as the cinnamon for seasonal evil fun.

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When I waited in line at the pumpkin patch for donuts for 26 minutes and all they had left were pumpkin glazed ones left when I  finally got to the front.

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When I accidentally bought pumpkin spice pasta sauce because I thought it was the butternut squash one I love and then I had to have cookies for dinner. Never mind, this one actually wasn’t sad.

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When I went to the bar for the first time in a year and the only grown up drinks on special were the pumpkin spice infused cocktail and some pumpkin spice flavored beer. So I had water. Like a 5 year old.

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When I got to Thanksgiving dinner and all they had for dessert was pumpkin pie.

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When someone gave me a pumpkin spice lip balm to try and I had to try not to gag every time I licked my lips.

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Basically ever since pumpkins were turned into a spice that people sprinkle all over everything just because it’s fall I’ve been sad. It’s not that good, you guys, for real.

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Filed Under: real talk



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Comments

  1. Smithk521 says

    November 15, 2015 at 11:24 am

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  2. Aya says

    November 10, 2015 at 7:12 pm

    I am a great fan of all things pumpkin, and not just seasonally, and this made me laugh so hard right from the post title all the way through. Surely you are lying about the pumpkin spice pasta sauce and the pumpkin spice infused cocktail, though. No way are those actually things?

  3. Arnebya says

    November 10, 2015 at 6:22 pm

    I have never had pumpkin spice anything. I will eat a small slice of pumpkin pie if that’s all you have for dessert but not if you also don’t have Cool Whip). But I won’t enjoy it because just make sweet potato if you care about my feelings. I just have zero desire for pumpkin spice and believe I’ll be like you, ordering water instead. I don’t begrudge others for enjoying it, but dang. You can’t put that sh!t on everything.

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