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Life with Dudes Never Looked So Pretty

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Apparently It’s Quitting Time…

Recently, so many of the blogs I’ve known and loved for ages are closing up shop.  Like this one, and sigh, this one too.

Moving on from blogging to new things, saying goodbye to online life and hours behind their computers, saying hello to new adventures and experiences, and probably like more Vitamin D as the spend their time frolicking in the sunshine.  Or, whatever people who don’t blog for a living anymore do.

There was a time when the idea, the simple passing suggestion that I would-gasp-give up my blog???, would make me sputter and flail.

Give? Up? parenting By dummies DudeMom?

AreyouinsaneyouinsanepersonIwouldnever!

Only…

These days, never seems way more like I don’t know, and as every mom can tell you, I don’t know is the same thing as possibly.

When The Dudes were 1 and 4 and 7, this space was full to bursting of stories.  Anecdotes about our days, photos of our adventures, moments of weakness when toddler life was winning and mom life was crazy, fewer and farther between moments of triumph when mom life was winning and toddler life meant peeing in the potty, arms crossed over the chest in defiance.

dudes 2008

So much to tell, not enough time.

It quickly ran away from me.

And now this…

photo 5(4)

You’ve watched the Dudes grow and with that journey this space has changed.

You, as readers, used to be so connected and engaged and involved and entertained.  You cared about whether or not Dude 3 peed on the floor at Ikea because he escaped from the bathroom waving the diaper over his head helicopter style while I helped is brother get lingonberries out of his hair.

Now, you care less (although if my 6 year old ran naked from the Ikea bathroom, I’m sure you’d have words for me), you feel less connected, everyone can eat lingonberries without incident, and we aren’t two moms, in the trenches of motherhood, finding comfort in each other’s horror stories.

Because the stories are different now.

Please note, horror stories still exist.  But, I’ve come to the conclusion, as The Dudes have gotten older, and the mothers of their friends have found this space and shared it with their children (aka my boys’ friends), that these stories are less mine to share.

And, I’m terrible at censoring myself once I get going.  And I never have the forethought to ask them first.  And, I’m pretty sure that Dude 1’s puberty chronicles are not something he would agree to me sharing (as much as HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER PUBERTY screams through my mind daily).

Only, there are some things that haven’t changed at all: how much I love writing, how connecting with people makes me feel joy, how awesome it is to discover something new and share it with all of you (I went to Expo East yesterday and my face is still hurting from smiling at all of the organic awesome I want to share with you!), and chocolate chip cookies.  Always and forever, chocolate chip cookies.

Probably I knew this day was coming and, like all things involving the growing up of my children, I’ve avoided it, continued to live in denial, and hoped, desperately, that the day would never ever come.

But, denial is dumb.

Because it leaves you unprepared.  And when you’re unprepared you’ve got no direction.  And when you’ve got no direction you suck a little.  And, sucking is for losers, not people who have proclaimed their awesomeness online since 2008!

I get why some of you have ditched me and my snore-worthy tales devoid of the humor and emotion and AWESOMENESS this blog was founded upon.

And I MISSSSSS YOU!  ***wipes snotty nose and tear stained face***

So, a change is in order.

Now, don’t get excited, I’m not heading off to die just yet.

I remain in denial refuse to believe that blogs are just for DudeMoms with babies.  There has to be a place for DudeMoms of sort of grown up-ish Dudes.  I’ve just got to find it.  And muscle my way into it.

So I’m asking you to bare with me as I make this change.  To share your thoughts (I know you have them), and your suggestions, and your chocolate chip cookies (I’ll give you my address, you send them along), so this space can be a space you enjoy again.

As with all change, it will be hard (probably just for me, but maybe teeeny bit for you too).

But, expect DudeMom to be different: different looking, different content, different voices (like lots of DudeMoms instead of just me!)*, different good, different better, different different.

It will take time, and twerking tweaking, and you responding to this survey that I am happy to bribe you to fill out.

For every 10 people who respond (it’s 8 questions y’all, come on) another $10 gift card (Amazon) will be added (up to 5, hello, I’m not made of money!), so the more the merrier (aka share it with your friends).

And then the process of discovery and rebirth will begin.

Get those chocolate chip cookies in the mail, I’m gonna need them.

*If you’re interested in contributing to DudeMom, let me know on the form!



Comments

  1. Yes, yes, and yes. It seems like I have so little time to read write now that I just never keep up with anyone and then I feel bad but then I don’t have enough time. It stinks. I just cut my reader down about 75% (deleted LOADS of peeps, but NOT you). I’m hoping that motivates me to actually look at it on a daily, or at least weekly, basis. I miss keeping up.

  3. Look at all of the love you are getting today! You are here- you are relevant- and I can’t imagine continuing on in blogland without you. (Even if we have yet to get a date on our calendar where we can be in the same city!).
    People do care about raising teens and raising Dudes to be Men…. and there is so much we can talk about without covering the blow by blows of their puberty. Like Dude Mom tech for Pete’s sake- can’t that be a weekly segment? I look to you to keep me informed! Because otherwise my head is in the sand.

  4. Oh Amanda! I’m finding myself kind of in the same boat – as my kids get older, they’re not making messes of such monumental proportions or pooping all over the place (thank goodness!!) or saying cute things every 2.5 seconds any more. This whole “growing up” thing really cuts down on the blog fodder, doesn’t it?!

  6. No, don’t go away completely! I understand another change is needed, but you made a successful transition from Dumbmom to Dudemom and I am confident you can do a third. Give us more Amanda since you can’t share so much about all your dudes. More of your humor, and about being an interracial family in this world. I feel your connection to us, please find a way to continue! :)

    • No worries, Margaret! I’m planning to stick around indefinitely, it’s just a new phase of life and a new phase of blog to go with it I guess!

  7. I’ve only been with you for the past few years, but don’t go! I second all of the comments above, and so many of us are making the same life transition as you – I’d love to have your sense of humor all over my this-is-not-funny moments. I’m no writer, but I will faithfully read each article, as I have been. I’ll even comment so you feel the love. :)

    • Thank you, Tana! And, you know what they say, if I don’t laugh I’ll cry. Or lose my mind on these fools. Kidding. Mostly.

  8. Please don’t give up! There are few to no blogs about living with older boys….so many baby or small kids, and with a 13 yr old I am past that. I understand about not being able to share personal a moments about the boys but your perspective, even just about how you are/react/deal helps me know I’m not alone. I also love!! The fashion aspect. Sponsored posts don’t bother me at all as you are very honest about anything sponsored and I feel you wouldn’t brag on something naff. I’m not sure what I could add as far as contributing. However as a Californian now living in the UK, happy to provide some sort of comic relief such as how I continue to call trousers……pants (which in the UK world are underwear) providing lots of giggles and allowing my English friends to continue to feel superior :) Please consider continuing your blog, you bring a lot of sunshine into our homes!

    • Thanks for weighing in! I don’t know about other bloggers but I exclusively choose my sponsored posts based on things I would/do use in real life anyway, or have discovered and truly think are awesome. Side note: were a man-scaping product I have no use for to offer me a cool mil to discuss what they’re about, please know I would be man-scape like a mug. As it stands my integrity and authenticity are worth more to me than the bits of cash sponsored posts provide.

  10. What a big decision to make, and what a great Mom you are to make it now. :-) I’ll fill out the survey, but I’d like to publicly say what I’d like to see…

    More Amanda.

    Not Amanda the DudeMom, but Amanda the woman outside of the context of being the mother to 3 outrageously amazing boys. I know you. You’re fascinating. You’re hilarious. You’re inspiring and brilliant and gorgeous. I’d love to get a deeper peek into how you became/how you maintain all of those things. <3

    • Thank you, thank you, thank you, Brandi! I love it when you take the time to comment on my blog because it’s always so thoughtful and honest. Plus, you’re good at giving constructive, knowledgeable advice and that’s so, so helpful when you’re a mom in transition. Or just a mom. Or just a human.

  11. Awww, don’t go! I still love you, but I don’t have a lot of time to read blogs and less to comment on them. I’ve dropped my posting back to just twice a week. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you still – and that’s YOU, not just your dudes. And we go waaay back! But I get it – I don’t understand why people aRe more interested in toddlers then teens. They aren’t all cute and adorable any more, but if anything, I think they take a lot more time, attention, and care. I’ll come and be a dude mom for you sometimes. Can’t do it every week, but once a month maybe?

  12. I can totally understand this and we all see some of our favorite bloggers packing up and heading for the hills. I will miss reading about you and dudes, but will support whatever you do going forward. As mom to just 1 dude, I’d be happy to contribute a story to you. Let me know.

  13. Is this the form? I’d be interested in contributing. Since getting pregnant with Dude#3 I’ve abandoned my blog but I’d like to start writing again in some capacity.

    • Dude 3! Awesomeness will ensue. And it’s the Google Doc linked above in the post if you haven’t found it yet? Hopefully you have so I can get you on the DudeMom list!

  14. Hi! I know I comment super rarely but I read every one of your posts. What keeps me coming back is your utterly authentic, arrow-true voice. I feel that you have captured the elusive “write the way you talk/think” balance and I feel like you are sitting next to me talking IRL. I also like your sense of humor (your blogs often make me LOL audibly!) and I like when you write about heavy/hard/sad/serious issues as well. You just seem like an honest, sweet, extremely likeable person. Hats off to you for confronting this awkward crossroads head on and I’m sure you have the moxie to pull off an amazing transformation. The DudeMom rebrand was a huge improvement over DumbMom, and I have no doubt that you have it in you to take your blog to the next level. Keep it up! *goes back to lurking*

    • Hooray for delurking! And I’m all good with that; I know commenting is awkward and time consuming and, um, awkward. It’s awesome to hear you’re there though and thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!

  15. Oh you know I am right there with you on a lot of levels. The blogging space has changed a lot so I really think you shouldn’t take the lack of engagement too hard. You are as lovable as ever, but people are pulled in so many directions. We scan and click away. That being said, I do feel like we reach a point where we need to reevaluate what kind of content we’re putting out there. If I can’t be a mom who writes about funny toddlers anymore…than what do I write about? You’ll find it!

    • I totally agree with Kat. I think we all struggle with it— we’re constantly evolving ourselves, right? I would hate to be locked into the same category people would’ve lumped me into in college. Things change and our blogs should too.

      On another note, if you’re ever looking for a little Chick Mom perspectitve, I’m your girl ;)

    • Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kat. I love how well you’ve integrated new content and continue to reach people via your videos. I’m not funny on video. I’m sweaty and awkward and weird. Working on it though so don’t be surprised if you see me all up on that vlogging workshop of yours!