Childbirth Nearly Killed Me Dead

TODAY’S POST IS BEING BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE MOTHERHOOD AND THE MARCH OF DIMES.

Super glad it didn’t though.

I know I’ve told Dude 1’s birth story here before, but whenever I think about healthy pregnancy and birth, his comes to mind.

He was a healthy 9lb baby when I met him, ten full days past my due date, but getting him here was an ordeal.

I went into the hospital from my doctor’s office the day before he was born for a regular dang-girl-why-you-still-pregnant-checkup.

I was feeling fine, but I’d put on a bunch of weight (15lbs in one week!) and my blood pressure was up. They thought I was beginning to suffer preeclampsia, plus I was TEN DAYS PAST MY DUE DATE for crying out loud, a woman needs some relief in that situation. They decided to send me to the hospital and induce labor.

Mimi went to the hospital with me since we were heading to a final pre-baby-lunch-date when I got the word from my doc.

DudeDad, well, he hitchhiked.

No joke, he didn’t have his car because he was at a weird work site and it was midday so there was no shuttle and, in his I’m-about-to-be-a-dad panic, he tried to run, but that was dumb, so a random husband and wife picked him up on the street and drove him to his car (they stopped because he looked frantic and ridiculous running down the street in a suit and tie). He finally slid into the hospital, disheveled and crazy eyed, just as I was getting hooked up to the Petocin.

A few hours, a lot of Italian ice, a number of barfs, an epidural, and an episode of Friends later, it was time to push.

I was doing an awesome job, but my pelvis mixed with the big headedness of my child and things began to go awry.

I remember a lot of yelling, and the nurse’s actual butt as she mounted me to push my baby out while the doctor reached inside and yanked (he had to get out quickly to prevent severe brain damage).

They showed me his beautiful swollen face. I heard them say something about his arm not working and then the pain hit me. Searing, burning pain like nothing I had felt before or since in this life. And then more yelling. And lots of beeping. And men in green outfits rushing in with a cookie sheet and a huge machine with lots of knobs and shiny lights (it wasn’t a cookie sheet, it was some thing for them to do an EKG, but I was busy dying so forgive me if my thoughts weren’t centered).

I remember thinking, “I don’t want them to see my boobs!”

Pretty sure they saw my boobs. Along with my down low lady parts, and the blood and the guts, and all of the scary and highly disturbing parts of childbirth that never make it into an episode of A Baby Story.

Turns out when they ripped out of my baby human they took some of my insides with them. I wound up with a ton of blood loss and nearly 100 stitches internally and externally, to sew my insides back together.

I was sedated until the following day, I had to lay flat for three more. It was a hard, scary way to start life as a mom.

But I’m grateful for the hospital staff, and the medical professionals that worked on me and my baby, a bunch of divine intervention, and organizations like The March of Dimes who help moms like me have full term pregnancies and healthy babies.

It’s an organization that you can’t really doubt the necessity of; 1 in 9 babies are born prematurely, after all. That’s a lot of babies needing a lot of help.

You can be a part of that help.

Easily.

Which is a thing, right?

Honestly, I get that. You maybe don’t have cash in your budget, and time in your schedule, and there are just so many causes that you and your family yearn to contribute to. Making it easy to help makes helping more appealing to most of us.

That’s what I love about the partnerships the March of Dimes has established: they get it too. They want it to be easy for you to contribute, they want you to see the good you’re doing in action, and they even throw in some do good, have fun awesome too so you want to do it over and over and over again.

All you need to do is make a few conscious shopping choices.

For example, you can buy your BFF an Alex and Ani bracelet for her birthday this month to celebrate her entrance into motherhood. They’re chic and cute and, when you buy a Special Delivery Charm Bangle, the company donates 20% of the purchase price to the March of Dimes.

Or, if you want to add some cute to your own little bundle of joy, you can get some adorable Mudpie socks. Super cute wardrobe addition to teeny footed humans and, for every pair you purchase, Mudpie will donate a dime to March of dimes.

Or, no baby in your life right now? It’s cool, you can help anyway. Share a baby photo (yep, an old school one is cool) with the Martha Stewart #THX2U campaign hashtag and Martha will earmark some cash for the March of Dimes on your behalf. GO MARTHA! (Gotta love a chick that’s crafty, charitable, and crazy funny when she roasts Justin Bieber!).

Please take a moment to click over to the imbornto site and see all of the ways you can help this year!

*Disclosure: This post was sponsored by The March of Dimes in conjunction with The Motherhood. i have been compensated, but the traumatic birth story and my desire to help this worthy cause are all my own.