You guys know I am not a makeup-er.
I wear it because I need it, to look human and feel normal.
And, I don’t wear a lot.
I wear five things religiously: foundation, powder, eyebrow pencil, blush, and gloss.
I put on mascara to be fancy, because I am crap at washing it off.
It takes me ten minutes on a day when I want to look my best, otherwise, it takes me five.
Recently, I fell into watching these beauty vloggers do this technique called clown contouring. I saw it first on the Today Show and then I spent a good hour and half that I should’ve been sleeping with my ear buds in as I watched them in amazement.
It is magical. They literally go from normal, every day tired person, to HOLY CRAP IS THAT BEYONCE beautiful.
Which, of course, they make look easy.
So, I ordered up this makeup kit and these beauty blenders on Amazon and figured I’d give it a try.
I mean seriously, how hard could it be?
Throw on makeup like a crazy person, dab it until you look amazeballs.
However. Big deal.
Super big, work up a sweat, seriously can I just go out like two face because I can not with this anymore, big deal.
At least if you are on out of shape blob prone to hormonal sweaty outbursts it is.
There is a lot of arm action involved in blending. And bathrooms get hot.
I’m not planning to do clown contouring again, but I am also not saying you shouldn’t try it!
My video is purely for entertainment purposes, but these tips are to help you get it right.
Clown Contouring- The Mom Who Doesn’t Really Wear Makeup Version
1. Buy the right products. Buuuut, don’t break the bank on it. If you’re not about to do it daily and, if you’re a busy mom like myself, chance are you’re not, then maybe don’t spend $40 on a kit.
2. Don’t under estimate the power of the beauty blender thingy. They are super cheap and they are also magical.
3. Put it on heavier than you think you should. And expect to look ridiculous. I didn’t use enough because I’m not used to caking my face in makeup. You need to understand that there is a lot of blending going on and it will diminish the impact of what you apply. So act like you’re about to star in the stage version of Hairspray and lay it on.
4. Prepare to work up a sweat. Complete blending is the key to your not-looking-like-an-actual-clown success. It takes a minute. And your arm gets tired. Unless you’re just in shape like that, which in that case, I hate you.
5. If you want to really know how to do it, watch the creator herself. This beauty vlogger and her poop emoji adornments, is noted with being the inventor of clown contouring. Watch her video if you want to see how amazing it can really be. Mine is mostly for giggles.