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May 22, 2014 by: DudeMom

Dude Mom Life: Dude House Sounds. Vol 2

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These are the sounds that Dude houses make…

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Dude 2: Mom, how much do you like farting?

Me:  Ummmm, I don’t fart and if I did, pretty sure I wouldn’t like it.

Dude 2: I do not get girls.

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“Tony Stark looks like he’s about 30; way younger than you do, Mom.”

Me (in my mind): Really?  Today was a rough day, I’ll admit, the shower was pushed off until after bed time, the hair needs some attention, make-up?  What make-up?  But, regardless, there is no way I look older than Robert Downey Jr!  I love the man, and Iron Man is so MY superhero, but even with movie magic and super powers this face is just more youthful.  For crying out loud, he spent years on drugs!  If nothing else I’ve got a lifetime of sobriety on my side.

Me (out loud): Tony Stark is fake, just like Iron Man, let’s not forget that.

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“Grandma’s can’t do the score at kids’ games because they love their grand babies and they want them to win and sometimes, because they’re old, they have funky brains that make them cheat.”

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“Ms. Wishy Washy is my favorite. I wish she was black because then she’d look just like you.”

Ummmm, clearly…

mrs wishy washy

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#2photoshoot

“He double balled me!”  **Insert Bevis and Butt-Head snicker**

This is some sort of entirely made up 6 year old baseball lingo meant to describe when another teammate lobs two balls at you at once.  You are not expected to catch either.  Based on my research, you are supposed to run in circles with your eyes closed and your glove covering your head hoping that none of them crack your skull.  Then, when you’re in the clear, you yell, “HE DOUBLE BALLED ME!” and all of your teammates laugh hysterically and attempt to replicate the experience on those around them.  Generally there is a massive amount of giggling.  However, as anyone over the age of 12 may expect, this practice occasionally results in tears.

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Dude 3: Did you poop when I was born?

Me: ………

Dude 3: Because if I came out of your butt I’m pretty sure you did and I wanna know how you loved me if I had poop all over me?

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Be sure you check out Dude House Sounds Vol. 1 and my Stuff Dude Moms Say post on Everyday Family.

Filed Under: For Dude Moms Tagged With: dude mom life



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Comments

  1. Jennifer says

    May 26, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    Way, way too young to know about birth pooping. Boys…

  2. Melissa @ A Wide Line says

    May 23, 2014 at 5:28 pm

    Haha! The poop comment is killing me. With a freshly potty trained 3YO boy, we talk about poop a lot at our house, too.

  3. Kirby says

    May 22, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    Girls don’t fart! They toot! according to my 5 yr old, however, according to my 2yr old she farts (with a boston accent- not the actual fart they way she says “fart”)

  4. Krissy says

    May 22, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    BAHAHA, this made me laugh out loud! My girls always say in a proper voice “Girls don’t fart, they toot”. haha, cracks me up!

  5. Rita Templeton says

    May 22, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    You don’t fart? I’m a little disappointed. ;)

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