Not the 11 year old type questions I am afraid are soon to be coming from my soon-to-be 11 year old.
The important kind.
The kind that prove, unequivocally, that boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider because it’s not anywhere near the mall.
The kind a four year old baby genius asks because, seriously, girls are mysterious and weird and possibly creepy when you live in a house filled with Dudes and a mom who has officially banned you and everything you stand for from her bathroom.
As I entered mine recently, not to actually go, but to hide simply put something away, aforementioned 4 year old was hot on my heels. As per usual.
Just as I turned to slam the door in his face and order him downstairs to busy himself with um, something nondeadly, he interrupts my random thoughts regarding the ratio of deadly to undeadly belongings I have in my home with a question: “Hey Mom, do girls poop?” he asks.
And, before I burst into a laughter so robust that it tested the limits of my had-three-babies bladder and threatened to make me a pee a little, I look at him and say, “Don’t be silly, of course girls don’t poop, at least not this girl.”
I could tell he believed me as he was stunned into silence. Something that never, ever happens when dealing with #3.
Don’t worry though, I fully intend to lay the yeah-chicks-poop-and-it-stinks-too-because-there-isn’t-one-on-this-planet-that-is-better-than-you-so-don’t-let-them-get-you-down speech on him by kindergarten.
Cause chicks are fast these days and I don’t want my my baby hurt.
But for now, the secret is safe with me, ladies.
Secret is safe with me.
Well damn, I let that cat out of the bag awhile ago for mine BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO LEAVE THE BATHROOM WHEN I AM, UM, YEAH. Once he uttered, “Oh, you booboo? You stinky, Mommy.” Things ain’t been right since.
lol, that mystery has long been unraveled in my one bathroom house. Whose lock hasn’t ever worked since we moved in.
My hat is off, woman with OWN BATHROOM. I want one!
I love what you told your son-but I would probably have told him that he can only date the girls who DON’T poop. Proving that, once again, really good scarring is long range.
bwahahahahaha….seriously AWESOME!!!
Whoa…. wait. Ya’ll can BAN kids from the bathroom? Holy crap… literally. :)
Heh heh. Right now I’m surrounded by a man, a baby boy and a dog boy. Just one more boy and I’m headed right in your direction! Thanks for the laugh.
That is hilarious. Having one of each neither one of them will ever be surprised by what the opposite sex does after living in our house. I’m not sure if that is good or bad.
Lol I love this!
I have two girls so I don’t have to deal with that, but you should have seen the look of horror on my husband’s face the day my daughter stuck her hands in her pants because she wanted to “feel her front butt.” Hahahaha!
LOL! I get questions like that all the time. As I was going through Buddy’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid Do It Yourself book, I saw that he wrote, “Girls don’t fart.” Apparently I’m not a girl in his eyes. ;-)
Every time I read your blog I laugh out loud and pass my computer to my husband to read your posts. Honestly they make my day!
And, I dream of a day when I can have a bathroom that bans the boys in my house from using it. One day, one day…
Kerrie
http://familyfoodtravel.blogspot.ca
This is hilarious! Oh, the questions I get from my 5 year old boy. I can’t even imagine what lies ahead in the next 5 years. I will then have two boys ages 10 and 7!
I have a 7 & 10 year old right now! My 7 year old never asks questions but that’s just because apparently, he already knows everything!