Personal hygiene is a constant point of contention in this Dude house.
They are either completely filthy, about to do something that will leave them filthy, or only just recently cleaned up from spending a good portion of their day being filthy.
And, as they age, they add to their filth a distinctive funk that makes me wonder if they are fully human or possibly, half wolf.
And, nah, I don’t mean the sexy sort either.
Smelling this ripe they would be lucky to find themselves in a love triangle one day with a vampire or anything else.
There are just certain things they omit from their daily routine of care.
Like brushing. Hair or teeth.
Or wiping.
Believe it people. I’ve got proof that I wish I didn’t have.
And, no matter how many times I harp about the one use underwear rule or their need to use soap in the shower, they just. Won’t. Do it.
And, it’s not just my Dudes who are ridin’ dirty.
The majority of my Dude Mom Life submissions feature dudes of various ages getting their filth on.
See…
It’s not just my Dudes.
I don’t recall ever feeling so comfortable in my own dirt as a child.
Maybe it’s a girl thing?
Maybe it’s a me thing (I’m not a very clean person though overall, so doubt it).
But, it’s certainly not a Dude thing.
Being at peace with their tartness just seems to come natural to them.
Even my oldest, who is meticulous about keeping his shirts clean and his pants grass-stain free, just hasn’t developed the attachment to fresh breath that I hoped he would.
And getting him to use deodorant consistently is like getting me to give up cupcakes and coffee; not gonna happen unless someone gets hurt.
And who knew that showering would be so hard?
I’ve tried everything my exhausted human mind can think of to make him understand the need to take a good old fashion bar of soap to his back side like he means it.
I mean, like he really means it.
I’m talking loofah-are-for-losers, none of this just let the water do it’s work type business.
Get a rag, soap it up and get to scrubbing.
I posted a diagram in his bathroom for him…
You know, for guidance purposes. And also because I thought it was funny.
If the fact that his ears still got more wax than an 80s DJ are any indication, he’s not seen my clever drawing.
Or he’s ignoring it completely.
Like he does me.
Either way, one day he’ll wish he listened to his mother (on this and so many other issues) because, like his father can tell him, I’m always right!
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Hilarious. They do get filthy, huh? And I never thought I would have to explain that using soap and shampoo is a NECESSITY in the bath.
Pits, Privates and feet are the three main areas other than the hair and face that I worry about my son washing well. I remind him when he takes an ever so quick shower,” do you want your friends to smell you stinking today?”.
Amen. Who knew that such small bodies could accumulate such dirt and funk, and that their small feet can smell SO BAD?! In fairness to them, my husband and I just last night looked at each other and seriously wondered when the last time was that we bathed them…so in the tub they went! With boy #3 on the way, we’ve been joking that our house is just going to smell like feet for the next 18 years! Sigh.
I loved this post!! Seriously, I can relate to this! My practically-13 year old son would kill me if he saw that I had posted this comment! Ha! I love my boy dearly, but when he uses my shampoo and conditioner, and doesn’t rinse it out well, and his hair’s still greasy when he’s towel-dried—-then we have issues!! My husband says that our son will run the hot water, just to have it run on his body! I still have to remind son to scrub his hair and to scrub. I don’t want to smell him smelling funky AFTER a shower!
I have to say that my son actually asked me about wearing deodorant. Now I had to threaten his life and remind him of my cousin who has no teeth to get him to brush his teeth (my cousin is 26 btw and nas-tay). My daughter is getting better at it, but I still have to remind her about her teeth. The dragon breath on her could kill a large animal.
SERIOUSLY gross!! haha but so hilarious. My son gets dirt and sticky stuff in all kindsa crazy places…just….yuk.
Amy
http://www.love-bug-blog.com
come link up to my photo show off party!
LOL! We let Buddy wash himself, though we are in the vicinity. I hope he does okay. I mean, for the most part, I know he does okay because I don’t smell much funk. Except for his feet, but I don’t think even scrubbing with steel wool would get those things to stink less.
HAHA! Great one! Don’t ya just love it when they manage to emerge from a shower still proudly displaying the Oreo ring around their mouth?
Thanks for showing my too pigs too. And that snot picture has me gagging!
You’ve got to head to my place and check out my Gingerbread RV. Competition is today and I’m so nervous!
JDaniel and I have the same areas of him to work on.
sigh. I can hope that monkey doesnt get like this right? He might be the clean one right? Yeah…I like to dream
I have to say, living the combo life: one dude, two chicks — attention to hygiene is NOT what everyone thinks it is for girls…innate. It ain’t! I keep trying to tell them with all the cutesy clothes and nice hair and painted nails that frilly and funky do NOT go together. The oldest is less apt to get dirty but she is the main one, at 11, who doesn’t really have that desire to bathe. I mean, she’ll do it when I tell her to (sometimes w/the dreaded eye roll that yes, I have warned will get knocked out the side of her head) but I still don’t get that I have to TELL you to. Yes, you showered yesterday. Today is a new day! It’s a new life! Don’t let your b.o. take on a life of its own.
Many of my “chick mom” friends will agree that 1o is just not the high water mark (ha) for children’s interest in bathing. Any previously displayed enthusiasm had to do with the opportunity to ‘swim’ in the house or the great toys. Or something.
The small fry, when asked if he would like a bath ALWAYS says no. Same with fatigue and the desire for a haircut. In all three cases, he doesn’t really care one way or another.
Ahhhh the things I have to look forward to as a dude mom of 1!
As a mom of 3 trust me they outgrow it. Well not the need to get dirty but the need to retain it like some memento. My youngest , who is 12 (aggghhh did I just write that, geesh that makes me old), just learned the joys of LUSH and insisted I get him his own bar of soap from there. There is hope hun, there is hope.
The dirt lasts until they discover girls. Actually until they discover girls and that girls don’t dig stink. THAT’S motivation. We mommies just aren’t the girls that count.
What’s sad is that my boys (top pic) have been FAR dirtier than that…. Boys are just gross!