Personal hygiene is a constant point of contention in this Dude house.
They are either completely filthy, about to do something that will leave them filthy, or only just recently cleaned up from spending a good portion of their day being filthy.
And, as they age, they add to their filth a distinctive funk that makes me wonder if they are fully human or possibly, half wolf.
And, nah, I don’t mean the sexy sort either.
Smelling this ripe they would be lucky to find themselves in a love triangle one day with a vampire or anything else.
There are just certain things they omit from their daily routine of care.
Like brushing. Hair or teeth.
Believe it people. I’ve got proof that I wish I didn’t have.
And, no matter how many times I harp about the one use underwear rule or their need to use soap in the shower, they just. Won’t. Do it.
And, it’s not just my Dudes who are ridin’ dirty.
The majority of my Dude Mom Life submissions feature dudes of various ages getting their filth on.
It’s not just my Dudes.
I don’t recall ever feeling so comfortable in my own dirt as a child.
Maybe it’s a girl thing?
Maybe it’s a me thing (I’m not a very clean person though overall, so doubt it).
But, it’s certainly not a Dude thing.
Being at peace with their tartness just seems to come natural to them.
Even my oldest, who is meticulous about keeping his shirts clean and his pants grass-stain free, just hasn’t developed the attachment to fresh breath that I hoped he would.
And getting him to use deodorant consistently is like getting me to give up cupcakes and coffee; not gonna happen unless someone gets hurt.
And who knew that showering would be so hard?
I’ve tried everything my exhausted human mind can think of to make him understand the need to take a good old fashion bar of soap to his back side like he means it.
I mean, like he really means it.
I’m talking loofah-are-for-losers, none of this just let the water do it’s work type business.
Get a rag, soap it up and get to scrubbing.
I posted a diagram in his bathroom for him…
You know, for guidance purposes. And also because I thought it was funny.
If the fact that his ears still got more wax than an 80s DJ are any indication, he’s not seen my clever drawing.
Or he’s ignoring it completely.
Like he does me.
Either way, one day he’ll wish he listened to his mother (on this and so many other issues) because, like his father can tell him, I’m always right!
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