10 Things My Husband Does Right

In our family, I am the primary caregiver of our children.

I am home with them in the summer and I am in charge of most of their day to day care on a day to day basis. Which is code for all of the things are done by me, generally.

In my roll as doer of all things, I have a life system that I adhere to. It’s been developed over time and it is adapted as needed as they grow and our schedules change. But daily, very little changes.

Of course we work in time for fun and spontaneous dinner audibles that mean we get to eat ice cream instead of stir fry, but for the most part, our schedule and processes are set in a pattern we have grown to appreciate.

And then there are the random, every-so-often days that DudeDad is in charge.

When that happens it is agreed across the board that things will be different. And by different, I kinda mean a little bit scary.

I used to struggle immensely with this –why can’t you fold the socks like me, and put the dishes in like me, and make them a real breakfast that isn’t go to Dunkin Donuts on the way to school LIKE ME!?

GIVE THEM CHEERIOS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

I spent a lot of time, years in fact, going behind him and redoing things I found to be shoddy. And I complained, a lot.

I thought it would make him see the light and just do things my way, but I think it was more discouraging and hurtful than anything.

When I realized that, I decided to reign it in –after all, I wanted help and I don’t like hurting people unless I have to.

Plus, why on earth would I complain about someone doing the dishes so that I don’t have to? Or putting away the laundry I was going to leave stacked up in the basement until we reached an underwear crisis?!

At this point I’ve mostly accepted that when Dad does things they probably won’t be done right my way and that is mostly okay because probably we will all survive.

The Dudes still cry the moment I walk in the door after being gone awhile, but I’ve come to appreciate that as their way of saying, “The fun we had with Dad was awesome, but we’re exhausted and ready to return to the happiness and order our smart, beautiful mother provides.”

There is a place for both: fun-Dad-turns-laundry-put-away-into-a-dunk-contest and less-fun-but-more-efficient-so-that-we-can-also-enjoy-a-nutritious-meal-mom-turns laundry-put-away-into-um-laundry-put-away, in our lives. And, when you get right down to it, they are just about equally awesome.

In the spirit of Fathers Day and celebrating DudeDad for being perfect in his own way, here are 10 things my husband does right.

10 Things My Husband Does Right as a Dad

1. Video game selection. He is an expert in this department so I can rest assured that at no point will our children receive a game that is too violent, too gory, too sexy or otherwise just too for their developmental age.

2. Sport gear attainment. He researches it, chooses it, and most often takes them to buy it. Possibly that’s because I once came home with a $15 baseball bat. Apparently, you can NOT hit a baseball like you mean it with a $15 bat.

3. Sexy talks. Okay, saying he did it right is a wee bit of a stretch. I said, “Give him the basics, he’s 10”. He heard, “Give him basically everything, he’s 10 already.” Different outcome.

4. Post game talks. I spend the entire time crying because they were awesome or crying because they lost or crying because that bruise on his shin looks like it’s throbby. He spends the time asking him what he wants for lunch and throwing out helpful pointers for next time.

5. Fitness role modeling. I ate cookies for breakfast and watched an episode of Fantasy Island, he ate an egg white muffin and worked out for two hours. He does NOT have a dad bod and we are all proud and inspired by that. The Dudes are inspired to work hard and care about their health and fitness, I am proud to eat cookies for breakfast in his honor because honestly, I know what I’m capable of.

6. Low stress schedule keeping. I may have to write it all down and send him 75 iPhone messages, but he gets people where they need to be, on time, mostly dressed right, few freak outs.

7. Housekeeping. He is not the master of the deep clean, but man can he smash straightening up.

8. School project completion. I can bust out an essay with my eyes closed. A project with glue and sticks and like crafting materials, uh-uh. No. Like the kids will even tell you that I am horrible at project support and development. Because projects aren’t fun, they are time consuming and hard.

9. Chivalry. DudeDad is a gentleman: holding doors, ladies first, all that stuff. The Dudes see that and are starting to do it themselves. Good manners never hurt anyone.

10. Fun. Hands down he is the fun one. But, in my defense, that’s because these kids don’t appreciate kitchen dancing and cookie baking and playing dress up like they should.