I’m a curly haired chick.
It has taken me years to really learn to appreciate this blessing.
I spent a good chunk of my early years wishing, praying even, for different hair. Nappier hair, straighter hair, longer hair, even shorter hair. I didn’t really care, just so long as it was different hair.
Growing up, I got a bunch of different kinds of attention from my hair and I wasn’t comfortable with that. Probably because I wasn’t comfortable with anything that resulted in people looking at me too long.
I was a fly-under-the-radar type of kid. I liked to sneak up on people with my awesome, not flaunt it about in people’s faces like now.
Plus, I just didn’t like some of the stuff people said.
I got called Chaka for months by a man in my dad’s band (yeah, my dad was in an 80s band which explains a lot of my crazy I guess)…
As a 6 year old girl, I didn’t necessarily see that as a good thing (I didn’t want to be every woman, I wanted to be Punky Brewster for crying out loud), as a matter of fact, as I recall, I was pretty pissed off about it.
Now that I’ve begun to really harness the power of my hair, I get that being a little Chaka Khaned is not an entirely bad thing (I mean provided that entails wearing a bra; clearly she needed one even then!), and I’ve taken great pains to actually learn how to take care of my hair so I don’t wind up looking like a crack head I got beat up by every woman.
I mean, there is a thin line between great and gory in the curly haired world.
Seriously, look at just how easily things can get buck (and I don’t mean that in the good way): Good Hair Gone Bad
Yep, it even happens to the stinkin’ rich best of us.
Despite copious amounts of free time, cash, and professional assistance to prevent it from doing so, we curly haired humans go through some serious shiz at different points in our lives.
Some of those people can easily blame the deterioration of their overall appearance on crack cocaine. Serving as further proof that “Crack is Whack”(as are steroids). Because it makes you look like a lunatic and also because it kills you.
But, crack is not the culprit for all of this ugly. I mean, that’s Chelsea Clinton up there, people. No raging crack addiction to blame for the horror happening on her head.
Some of these unfortunates have just fallen victim to the same things all of us curly headed peeps spend each day trying to avoid: frizz, spilt ends, dryness, bad cuts, and lack of effort.
So, how do I keep my hair looking its most awesome without investing tons of cash and time I don’t have?
How am I ensuring that I don’t turn into Macy Gray of the blogging world?
Well, for starters, I just say no to drugs, but there’s more to it than that.
How about a tutorial?!
Dumb Mom’s Guide to Curly Hair: How to Avoid a Curl-tastrophe
1. Invest tons of cash and time you don’t have. I know, I told you this wasn’t gonna happen, but you have to get to ground zero, and to do that you sorta just have to make the investment. I came up on a $900 haircut (yes, that’s about how much a cut from Ted Gibson will set you back) free of charge. He cut off the scary, added some awesome to make the curls work their magic, and kicked the color up from matte black to something more sparkly like. It’s what was needed to create something I could actually work with. If you are experiencing a perpetual bad hair day, I suggest you get yourself into a curly hair experienced stylist and let them work some magic on your rat’s nest head. Need help finding one? Try this site for finding a curly hair stylist.
2. Get rid of the icky stuff. I’m not a naturalist by any stretch of the imagination. I eat and use and buy natural when it tastes and feels as good as the bad stuff and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. But, when it comes to hair care, even I have to admit that natural truly is better. I started using the paraben free hair products a few months ago and seriously, my world is rocked. My hair has never been so happy (aside from when Ted was running his fingers through it) nor looked so healthy and shiny and stuff. You don’t have to break the bank for the stuff though. Target actually has a really good line that I use called Simply. It’s affordable and it works.
3. Leave. In. Conditioner. Just leave it in.
4. Leave out the comb. I finger comb my hair pretty every day. It doesn’t break off so easily that way, and once you get in the habit of using better products and leaving your conditioner in it’s actually both faster and easier, two things I live for!
5. Work it. It’s not going anywhere. You can press it, perm it, flat iron it, and get some Brazilians to go to work on it, but it’s not going to be gone for good. Unless you go bald, and no one wants that. If you want your hair to love you, you have to start by loving it. Don’t pull it back into a bun, don’t put icky, damaging chemicals on it, don’t fry it off your scalp everyday. Just embrace it already so you can rock the world like this…
I know, JT isn’t the curliest of Dudes out there, but I just couldn’t produce a pin board of lovely people in good conscious, without including his sparkly face.
All of this I’m saying not convincing enough for you?
Fine. I’ll let a toddler convince you. If this little lady can be this happy about her hair you can probably muster up a little smile or two, too!