Ok peeps.
This is big.
It’s the one you have ALL been waiting for.
The one every parent everywhere has been waiting for…
Dumb Mom’s Guide to Potty Training a reluctant and at times belligerent recently-turned-two year old boy
Yes, friends, it can be done.
#3, resident reluctant and borderline belligerent two year old boy, is fully daytime potty trained with a little nighttime accompaniment.
It’s not just that big bag of Cheetos that have got him smiling yes it is, that is pride you see.
He rarely messes himself in the day (unless you count when he pulls out his junk at the park and dribbles a little on his knees), and he only occasionally messes himself at night (pretty much only when he is having a get-your-tail-in-the-bed-now-or-so-help-me freak out session that requires him to go directly to bed without passing go or collecting $200 or stopping in to the pot one more time).
He has been almost entirely pretty much completely potty trained for months now, and he’s not even two and a half!
I’m not bragging, I’m just sayin’.
You know, to prove that it really, truly, seriously, for reals can be done.
Even though your largely reluctant, borderline belligerent two year old is standing in his potty chair and peeing on your floor today, tomorrow (well in 7 days) he can be as potty trained and stank free as #3.
That’s right.
Start to finish. Seven. Days.
All three of The Dudes were trained in seven days (with a little extra time to bring their “back ends” into compliance).
All three of The Dudes (including the first one) were trained well before reaching their third birthdays.
Just cause. I hate poop and I’m too broke for diapers.
I’m not saying it wasn’t so hard that I wanted to tie their naked little tails to the potty until they went give up; it was. Totally.
But it wasn’t impossible and you too can be the proud owner of an, albeit reluctant, borderline belligerent, probably even slightly disgruntled, but pretty much all the way potty trained two (or three, or four?) year old boy if you do exactly as I say.
Added bonus; no one will get hurt.
Dumb Mom’s Guide: How to Potty Train Boys Even When They Don’t Want You To and May Be Possessed By An Evil, Potty Hating Spirit
1. Buy supplies. Fancy potty chair…check. Special, flushable,moist booty wiping towellettes…check. Super fun reward for “making”…check. Instructional materials in the form of Elmo potty books and DVDs…check. One sexy pair of toddler sized drawers to get him in the mood…the only thing that worked for #3.
He honestly didn’t give a care about the potties or the books or even the rewards. All he cared about was looking like an effing rock star in his big boy chonies (aka Mexican word for under shorts).
2. Get over nudity. Because chances are there will be a lot of it. #3 spent most of his training time running around the house in the buff. He liked to wear his big baller drawers, but once soiled, off they’d come leaving him to free ball it the rest of the day. This technique actually made him more aware of the goings on in his junk, so he’d start to go and then grab it to make it stop, giving me ample time to grab him, and run his naked tail to one of the strategically located pee depots (we set up potties in various rooms to keep them within reach at all times).
3. Bribery. Some kids respond to the sticker charts and what not. #1 did, #2 not so much, and #3 not at all. Unless you count the dang Cheetos…
Your choice on this one, but it could work, particularly at the beginning when you are just trying to coax the little baddie out of his diaper and onto the pot. A little sit here, see what happens, don’t cry or kick Mommy in the face, and I’ll give you a sucker afterwards (even if you don’t actually produce anything).
4. Get serious. Mom, Dad, and every other human creature living in or making frequent trips to your potty party during the designated training period should be briefed on the get-kid-to-the-potty-quick procedures. At Casa de Dummies, we devote one solid week to the training up of the kid. We may have to alter our schedule to ensure that we are mostly just at home, but the mild inconvenience is totally worth it. I haven’t changed crap pants in months, people. MONTHS! If that’s not incentive enough to take a week off and stay home then I don’t know what is. Seriously, dragging it out over months is really not as effective. The kid loses interest, you get sidetracked, and both of your wind up frustrated. Potty training is just like every single other parenting issue ever; it’s all about consistency. You can’t let him crap himself today and then expect him to remember that you don’t want him to crap himself tomorrow. If you can’t devote time and effort to the battle, I say don’t start it until you can (or until your kid is about to head off to kindergarten, whichever comes first).
5. It’s all about the preparation. Every cloth diapering mom will tell you that one of the benefits of putting your kid in them is ease of potty training. It is true. But, there is hope for those of you who didn’t: DON’T USE PULL-UPS! Use undies…
I know, Pull-Ups are convenient and they prevent you from having to follow your kid around with a bottle of carpet cleaner. I get it. And, when we had to leave the house, we used them too. But, I’m telling you, if you want to get on the fast track to potty trained bliss you will go straight from diapers to underwear (the absorbent padded kind are fine) and skip the Pull-Up middle man. Let me explain why.
- Kids get sick of standing in a puddle of urine. Even the most belligerent ones will figure out that standing in a puddle of urine at the park or the store (fingers crossed this doesn’t happen, but if it does it will be a teaching moment!) sucks, and standing in a puddle of urine at home ain’t all that fun either!
- Kids learn what the Pull-Up is for. #3, evil mastermind that he is, learned this quickly. He would pee in the Pull-Up every time I put one on him. It was like his comfort zone because he knew I wouldn’t know that he peed them for a while and he wouldn’t care that he peed them ever. They know Pull-Ups are for peeing. Even the ones where they get those nasty micro beads all over their package so they “feel wet” aren’t deterrents to the most reluctant bunch.
- They are more expensive than diapers and like 95% less durable and absorbent. Why would you want to pay more for something if it doesn’t suck less?
There you have it, friends. The How to Potty Train Kids Who Pee Themselves and Like It Handbook.
Keep it close in case you need it!
Question,
Did you keep the diaper off at night right away too? Or just during the day at first? Currently trying to figure out what to do with my two year old boy. So far he will sit on the potty just fine, but hasn’t actually done anything in it. Just started today.
I didn’t go to that much trouble to potty train my #1 son. He was maybe 2 1/2 or so, and I had another one on the way. I didn’t want two kids in diapers, so I got the potty chair, and set a timer. Every 15 minutes I took him to sit on the potty. If nothing happened, ok, if he peed, he got a penny. If he pooped, he got a nickle. By the end of the week, he got to pick out brand new big boy underpants. Eazy peazy!
Just getting started on potty training boy #2 (he’s 2 1/2). My first one I was determined to have him fully potty trained by 2… yeah, that didn’t happen! Thankfully when he finally decided he was ready (exactly one week before his 3rd B-day) we had very few accidents and I can count on one hand how many nighttime accidents he’s had in over 2 years. I tried everything I could think of (sticker charts, candy, toys) finally one night I was out with the girls and someone mentioned they bribed their kid with a donut everytime he went… the kids was seriously eating a dozen donuts a day! I couldn’t quite bring myself to even offer that, thankfully I found his weakness the next morning. He is a summertime baby and LOVES popsicles. He asked me for a popsicle at 7:30 am. I told him if he peed in the potty he could have one. To my utter amazement he did! I gave him the popsicle, he devoured it and asked for another. I told him if he peed again he could have another one… VICTORY!!! He peed about every 15-20 minutes that first day and downed a countless number of Otter Pops, but it was SOOO worth it! Sorry, that story was longer than I had anticipated… My point is not every kid will get excited about an M&M (or an Otter Pop). You just have to find the thing they will do anything for!
I’ve got an almost 2.5 year old and I’m pregnant so…it’s time. He’s madly in love with lollipops so rewards are easy. I have to convince hubby into the underwear instead of pull ups thing. Where my real problem lies is that he’s going through this phase where anything you ask him the answer is the same. yes (I know you would think it’s no) and always comes in the form of a violently serious head nod. So when I ask him if he has to go to the potty the answer’s always the same. He decides he wants to go to the potty…after he’s gone to the potty. He tells me when the deed is done “Adyn pooped,” never before he’s done it. He’ll sit there and squeeze his hardest to get absolutely nothing out so he’s trying just never at the right time…someone told me I should be making him sit on the potty like every half hour. is that as redundant as it sounds?
my three year old will pee in toliet if i tell him go but he will not tell me when if he has to go…as far as boo booin on the toilet he will not do it what so ever. he use to tell me when he stink but now he says nothin.. for about two weeks he wold tell me when he had to pee, but than i had my second son and got side tracked. my second son is now one and is of course not potty trained but is my three year old acting like this becasue his brother is in diapers..he loves to wear underwear but he wont keep them clean i have ben “potty trainin my three year old for a year now..I NEED HELP..nothin works..
Ok so idk if you would know this or not or if anyone can point me in the right direction but…. I have a son who just turned 2 a week ago and is a little slow on his speech (possible autistic) and I want to start potty training him but don’t know if he will be able to Communicate With me that he has to go he sees his sister and I going all the time daddy worksA LOT(he’s military) So he doesn’t see that daddy’s goes (idk if that matters or not but He loves to flush the toilet and play in it every chance he gets lol but I am terrified of potty training him for some reason I AM OH SO READY for it but I don’t know if HE is? Can anyone point me in the right direction or just give me some tough love lol THANKS SOOO MUCH !!!!
I have been trying to push the potty thing for 2 years now with my son now just turned 4. He refuses!!!! He knows where he should go, tells me even when i ask him but still he goes where eve, when ever! I am so frustrated with it! I have tried all the gimmicks and nothing sticks!!! I end up putting the pull ups on and you are very right in that if he is wearing them he doesn’t even bother to try. He was greatly on track right before his little sister was born then seemed like he back tracked severely. she will be 1 in less than a month and he is still pooping and peeing himself. I am at wits end with how to stop it! I bought lots of underwear with his fav charterers on them but still nothing… he will pee them and play in them like nothing bothers him…. please help!!!!
i hear you . i m in the same boat as you are my 4 yearold seems to be just fine peeing and pooping his pants ,playing like he dont have poop in his pants . but the smell. i m looking for advice as well . if i hear anything good i ll be glad to pass it on . my son said to take away the convenices away from him , and put him on the big boy potty , he cant hold himself up for 3 hours , cause i ve had mine sit on the potty chair for 3 hours and as so as i let him up he will go in his pants
and that makes me mad
i am in the same boat as you…..im wonderin if my second son who is 15 months being in diapers is distracting my three year..
Came across your article. Trying to get my little one out of DIAPERS .. UGH he’s interested in undies/pull ups . Not really potty so much. He could care less about “surprises” or rewards for going. I’ve tried everything.. any advice. !?
I am definetly going to try this we are having a hard time potty training oh son and we just had a baby 8 weeks ago.
Great read! My boy has been almost fully trained for about 2 months now…No overnight accidents at all. Only challenge is getting him to poop in the potty. He REFUSES! Any suggestions?
So funny! Mine are potty trained (not bragging, just sayin’), but I enjoyed the post. “Borderline belligerant” and the cheetos captions to the photos were especially funny.
awesome post!! you have me motivated, no more pull ups in our house.. :)
I am frustrated beyond belief with my 2-and-a-half-year-old, who doesn’t seem to have the slightest interest in potty training – whereas his older brother was potty-trained when he was at LEAST six months younger, if not before. They’re like night and day, damn it.
Thanks for the tips! :)
Give him a break for a little why don’t you?! Then you can both put it out of your minds, start to like each other again, and then try it again later, after he gets over his I’m-not-doing-what-you-say-ever phase?!
Is that a long ‘o’ in “chonies” or a short ‘o’?
And I agree with Jen, I totally did not have an easy time with girls, but they are twins, so it might come down to having difficulty keeping up with who has gone and when? So, I never do give potty training advice.
It a long o, as in bony. Yeah, chonies rhymes with bonies, which I realize is not actually a word, but hopefully useful in clarifying! Also, I think the best advice comes from people who suck at stuff. That’s really what makes pBd so alluring overall: I clearly don’t know what I’m doing, but my missteps can be life savers for so many others!
Bribery is a beautiful thing! Stickers for my oldest, and Tootsie Rolls for her bro. My daughter never once did anything n Pull-ups, but my son – he knew he could get away with it. Or at least try. I agree – they’re a waste of money!
Bribery is an art form. I’ve developed it fully and am currently working on the delicate art of brainwashing. I appreciate other practitioners fully!
What amazing timing. Buster pooped on the potty at daycare for the first time yesterday, so we are officially ready to start trying (I wouldn’t start officially until he pooped on the potty). However, Jdaddy and I leave for San Diego on Sunday, so I guess it will have to wait until we get back.
Oh, and with Buddy, he would pee in every single pair of underwear that daycare had for him until they ran out and he got a diaper. Every.single.day. The kid was so stubborn. It wasn’t until he was ready. At THREE AND A HALF. But, then he was fully trained. Day and night at the same time.
Readiness is a key ingredient. Luckily mine were ready early on and I jumped on them when they were. To me, the age you start is secondary. It’s all about getting it done quickly once you do.
Great tips! Totally agree.
Girls easier?! No way! Baby Girl wasn’t trained until she was FOUR. F.O.U.R!!! And she still isn’t trained at night, but I don’t really care about that. David had night accidents until he was a lot older and I just don’t think her bladder is ready for it. I think (hope) that Bud will be trained a lot sooner. I just need to get on it.
Easier said than done. But, I’m accepting students into my training camp (so above comments) so sign him up, put him on a bus, and kiss those diapers buh-bye!
I WISH girls were easier. I WISH props helped. I WISH my daughter did more than smile and say, “No tat-you,” when I ask her if she’d like to give the potty another go. You’re right, though. NO to pull-ups. YES to Cheetos. (And I love your photos. #3 is so cute.)
Thanks! And, we had to take a break (for 2 months) with #3. It’s all about precise timing. If they aren’t ready, they just aren’t and there is no point in badgering them about the potty for 6 months while you wait for them to get ready. We just jump when the fire is hot and if the fire burns out we let it go until it sparks again. Precision is my middle name. Oh, and thanks for the stickers. Working something out with them right now!
Good advice. You clearly know what you’re doing.
I’m just sending my boys to you how’s that?
Sounds good, I’m thinking of starting a Dumb Mom’s Potty Training Boot(less) Camp for Boys. You send your kids over here, I take away their clothing, and teach them the way of the potty. Might be a hit?!
You are crackin me up. Love the pics too before I forget. I think that maybe all the myths about boys might be unfounded, as my son took 1 week as well and I lost track with my daughter. Close to a year??
Yeah, boys are easier to manipulate, something that stays with them through adulthood.
Perfect timing – I am planning to start with #2 very soon (trying to decide exactly when) these are some fantastic tips!! (and thankfully we have hard wood floors so no carpet cleaner needed)
Okay, I wanted to concentrate on this post, but I was too distracted by the arm warmers.
My son was trained – including at night – in two days. No accidents ever. But he was 3 years and one week old. Daughter? One day but she wore pullups at night for six months.
#3 is a boy. We shall see. I’d like it to be tomorrow, but I dunno. He’s 15 months, he should be ready. Right? Because I’m done with the diapers already!
15 months might be a bit soon if you’re me, but Mimi says go ahead. She was riding me to potty train The Dudes at like 18 months, arguing that I was. Well, I’m special because I was super smart as a kid, I didn’t get dumb until The Dudes came along and combined their powers for evil. They aren’t so formidable when you separate them, but together, they are a force to be reckoned with.
DUDE!!! Cheetos rock. I used to eat them late night in college when I was drunk. So I can so see how they would work with potty training! LOL
#1 has been day potty trained since LAST August. I can’t get her to stay dry and not have accidents for nap and at night. What the hell do I do??
Ignore it. Who cares if she pees in the bed (as long as she’s diapered) as long as she doesn’t pee in her panties at the grocery store? But, if it’s really a bother, do you cut off her drinking like an hour before she hits the sack? That helps #3 (who still wears diapers while sleeping just in case) sometimes. Or, maybe her little bladder just can’t hold for a long period like that unless she is actively involved in trying. It takes some kids a while to figure out the night wetting thing.
Great post! I am totally on the other end of the spectrum: too lazy to potty train early. I commend you on your early learners! And I’ll raise a glass to not having to change diapers anymore! It’s a good place to be!
The one good thing is that I wait until the exact moment that they are ready, and then BOOM, I’m on them. Don’t want that window of enthusiasm to wear off!
I am STOCKING UP ON CHEETOS!
Congrats re: #3! Woo Hoo!
How can you live your life NOT stocked up on Cheetos? They work on pretty much every major childhood event: skinned knees, dissed by so-called friends, tantrums. EVERYTHING can be solved and/or celebrated with a bag of Cheetos.
So.I have a girl who is 8, potty training was easy.., had my son oh surprise we have a six month old too, my son is 20 months old..when he pees he holds himself..its time right?? I have a 6 month old too so its hard..been a long time.