Infrequently I talk about DudeDad on this blog.
But, from time to time, it’s important that I remind you, and myself, that he has been my partner in this baby raising adventure from the beginning…
I recall one of our firsts night home with our #1 Dude.
DudeDad wanted to help.
Night duty. Give me some much needed rest. Or, at least get up and bring our bottle rejecting baby to me so I didn’t have to drag myself out of the bed to get him from down the hall where we’d foolishly stashed him (here’s a secret: I co-slept starting at about day 5 of life and continued to do so with all three of The Dudes).
When the baby siren went off that night, I was the first to stir (of course). I touched DudeDad on the shoulder, lightly at first, then more forcefully when he didn’t move, because I NEEDED HIM TO GET THE BABY.
I needed him to do that for me. I needed to not be alone in my aching-everything-including-my-post-partum-depressed-brain-nighttime-nursing-changing-baby-screaming-boob-pain-fueled-stupor.
And he needed to do it too, for his own manly reasons.
So I shook him again, and maybe yelled a little, not a lot, but a little.
Suddenly, he launched himself out of the bed and, with speed I couldn’t create if I tried, directly into the wall by the door.
He fell instantly to the floor.
But, not to be deterred, he leaped up, and immediately did it again, this time clipping his shoulder as he spun-exited through our bedroom door and out into the hall.
He ran past the baby’s room, sort of around the living room, back to my bedside, and looked at me with frantic panic-y eyes.
“Ohmygoshwhatareyoudoingtheeffingbabyiscrying,” I said.
Blink. Blink.
I got the wailing newborn myself. That night and all of those that followed.
He’s good at so many things. Night waking is NOT one of them.
Regardless, I appreciate every single element of his existence in this partnership.
Even the useless things, like running repeatedly into the wall as our child cries out for assistance, have their place in this life.
Generally I do a less than awesome job of remembering that. Honestly, I think lots of us do.
I’m busy. And, I’m tired. And, um, I am sooooo tired.
I forget to remember. Or I remember, only to immediately forget.
He deserves better.
He deserves a hi-five and a gee thanks and a bacon burger with extra bacon.
He will get all of that on Father’s Day, for now, I have words…
10 Things I Love About My Husband as a Father This Father’s Day
1. He worries more than I do. Sure, he’s worrying about all of the wrong things in all of the wrong ways, but I appreciate that he’s concerned because I know it means he cares.
2. He lets me be the boss. Of my realm. I gave up my career to focus on motherhood. It is my job (now, along with two businesses). I don’t go to his job where he does, um, stuff and tell him about how to like, um, do whatever it is that he does, and he gives me the same courtesy. Yes, of course he helps out, but he doesn’t try to take over and like rearrange the pantry to his liking when I’m at Zumba.
3. He doesn’t complain about how I do housework. Or how I don’t do housework.
4. He is a patient coach. I scream and yell and spend most of every game in tears. Tears of joy, but still, I watch my dudes play sports and just all of the emotions. He is calm. He is quiet. And, after the game while I am jumping around them, spirit fingers in their faces, he gives them advice. And praise. And stuff they can use to improve. Spirit fingers are nowhere near as constructive.
5. He tells The Dudes I’m awesome. I’ve heard him say it, “Go in there right now and tell your mom she looks pretty in that dress, guys. She tried really hard to look pretty for us today so tell her she did it.”
6. He supports what I say. I kinda think it’s because at least 70% of the time he has no idea what’s going on and he figures following my lead is safest, but whatever.
7. He tries to be me. We all know that’s impossible, but when I’m sick, or tired, or out of town for business, he tries to do certain things exactly the way that I do, because my way is best he knows that I will feel the most comfortable knowing that The Dudes are getting cared for that way.
8. He supports “me time”. Generally.
9. He makes them feel special. He plays catch with #3. He never misses #1’s soccer games. He helps #2 work on his shot in the yard until the bats come out, even on a Tuesday, after leaving for work at 5am, and not getting home until 7pm.
10. Being a good dad is a priority to him. Like having a successful career. And being financially stable. And ensuring that his wife has money for cute shoes. Being a good dad to his boys is something he consciously focuses on. It’s on his agenda every day. Not just on Saturday morning when he’s on the sidelines. Not just when he’s “babysitting” while I take photos. Always.
That he’s always there no matter what!
The father in my life is special because he always puts his family first!
My dad encouraged me to grow up independently even though I have a disability. I love that. Thanks!
My fiance is amazing.. he treats my daughter (from a previous relationship) like his own and is a great father to her and to our son. It means the world to me.. because my father pretty much bailed on me when I was a kid.
My hubby does everything for my 4 legged little girls- love him
he has always been there for us if it wasnt for my dad me and my mom would be who knows where right now he has all the income
Mine, always working with me and reminding me to keep my head up.
My husband is the best father. He has raised my oldest as his own since he was 2. In his eyes he has always been his. He would give the shirt off his back for his kids.
My hubs is determined to be a more supportive dad than his was…and honestly he is rocking dad duties. My kiddos are 14 and 12 now, and things are getting more tense in our house with teenagers, but he is holding us steady. And I love him for it
The dad in my life is my dh. He is very hard working and reliable, faithful to me and his family. He loves to help people and does frequently.
Hi! I love your list about your husband. You are a fortunate woman. :) I’m not real close with my dad but my son is a dad now and he’s a great father. I’m so very proud of him! Thank-you!!
He is great because he puts everyone first before himself. Thanks for the chance to win.
My husband is a great father to our 4 boys. Even when he is dead tired from working to support our family, he always makes time for his boys and he has fun doing it!! :)
My husband is an amazing father to our 4 boys. He’s brave, and strong and caring. He’ll make trips to the store with the boys, which brings fear to my heart on occasion, lol. He takes them hunting and fishing. He is just amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better mate in this journey.
He’s constantly showing our little one how important family is by all the love he shares.
I love my husband because he has put up with me at my worst times and always tries to bring the best in me, even when I fight back. He has given me a beautiful son this year and he continues to be away, working everyday, to provide for us so I can be there for our son 24/7. My husband has given everything for us. My son and I are truly blessed with a Man/Father like him.
My husband often does the morning routine (he knows I am not a morning person!), and I’m not sure he even knows how much I appreciate that. Note to self…make him aware, STAT!
He took over bedtime routine when I got pregnant again and has created this awesome routine with our oldest that he really looks forward to. It’s way more than I was doing and really makes our son feel special with his time with his daddy. I love listening in on them!
Awesome post!!!! My husband is a most excellent dad too. He makes unduplicatable animal noises, carries heavy children for miles without complaint, and brings chocolate home when their mother’s patience flags (that’s a lot). Looking forward to celebrating him this weekend! :)
He schools my kid in Lord of the Rings trivia :)
He’s always there when he’s needed and when he’s not.
My dad was a single dad to 4 before i met him. i’d say that makes him pretty special…
My hubby is a brand new dad this year. I love him because he loves us (my little dude and I) more than anything. And he not only says it but shows it every day through his actions, hugs, and sweet little “Eskimo” kisses :)
Thank God for good daddies :)
Wow. No words. Cant remember the last time I laughed and cried out loud so hard! #fathersday post of the year!
What a great tribute to your husband for Father’s Day. My husband as “father” makes me love him so much more as “husband”. Sounds like your guy is pretty great!
Wow Amanda- I love this post! Especially the part about DudeDad being a good Dad because he consciously works on it. I would say that same thing about Steve. He’s a good Dad because it is important to him- at his very core. He works so incredibly hard for this family-
My husband helps coach my son in everything even though the other kids drive him crazy by not listening.
What an awesome dad! What an awesome husband! You have a keeper!