Infrequently I talk about DudeDad on this blog.
But, from time to time, it’s important that I remind you, and myself, that he has been my partner in this baby raising adventure from the beginning…
I recall one of our firsts night home with our #1 Dude.
DudeDad wanted to help.
Night duty. Give me some much needed rest. Or, at least get up and bring our bottle rejecting baby to me so I didn’t have to drag myself out of the bed to get him from down the hall where we’d foolishly stashed him (here’s a secret: I co-slept starting at about day 5 of life and continued to do so with all three of The Dudes).
When the baby siren went off that night, I was the first to stir (of course). I touched DudeDad on the shoulder, lightly at first, then more forcefully when he didn’t move, because I NEEDED HIM TO GET THE BABY.
I needed him to do that for me. I needed to not be alone in my aching-everything-including-my-post-partum-depressed-brain-nighttime-nursing-changing-baby-screaming-boob-pain-fueled-stupor.
And he needed to do it too, for his own manly reasons.
So I shook him again, and maybe yelled a little, not a lot, but a little.
Suddenly, he launched himself out of the bed and, with speed I couldn’t create if I tried, directly into the wall by the door.
He fell instantly to the floor.
But, not to be deterred, he leaped up, and immediately did it again, this time clipping his shoulder as he spun-exited through our bedroom door and out into the hall.
He ran past the baby’s room, sort of around the living room, back to my bedside, and looked at me with frantic panic-y eyes.
“Ohmygoshwhatareyoudoingtheeffingbabyiscrying,” I said.
I got the wailing newborn myself. That night and all of those that followed.
He’s good at so many things. Night waking is NOT one of them.
Regardless, I appreciate every single element of his existence in this partnership.
Even the useless things, like running repeatedly into the wall as our child cries out for assistance, have their place in this life.
Generally I do a less than awesome job of remembering that. Honestly, I think lots of us do.
I’m busy. And, I’m tired. And, um, I am sooooo tired.
I forget to remember. Or I remember, only to immediately forget.
He deserves better.
He deserves a hi-five and a gee thanks and a bacon burger with extra bacon.
He will get all of that on Father’s Day, for now, I have words…
10 Things I Love About My Husband as a Father This Father’s Day
1. He worries more than I do. Sure, he’s worrying about all of the wrong things in all of the wrong ways, but I appreciate that he’s concerned because I know it means he cares.
2. He lets me be the boss. Of my realm. I gave up my career to focus on motherhood. It is my job (now, along with two businesses). I don’t go to his job where he does, um, stuff and tell him about how to like, um, do whatever it is that he does, and he gives me the same courtesy. Yes, of course he helps out, but he doesn’t try to take over and like rearrange the pantry to his liking when I’m at Zumba.
3. He doesn’t complain about how I do housework. Or how I don’t do housework.
4. He is a patient coach. I scream and yell and spend most of every game in tears. Tears of joy, but still, I watch my dudes play sports and just all of the emotions. He is calm. He is quiet. And, after the game while I am jumping around them, spirit fingers in their faces, he gives them advice. And praise. And stuff they can use to improve. Spirit fingers are nowhere near as constructive.
5. He tells The Dudes I’m awesome. I’ve heard him say it, “Go in there right now and tell your mom she looks pretty in that dress, guys. She tried really hard to look pretty for us today so tell her she did it.”
6. He supports what I say. I kinda think it’s because at least 70% of the time he has no idea what’s going on and he figures following my lead is safest, but whatever.
7. He tries to be me. We all know that’s impossible, but when I’m sick, or tired, or out of town for business, he tries to do certain things exactly the way that I do, because my way is best he knows that I will feel the most comfortable knowing that The Dudes are getting cared for that way.
8. He supports “me time”. Generally.
9. He makes them feel special. He plays catch with #3. He never misses #1’s soccer games. He helps #2 work on his shot in the yard until the bats come out, even on a Tuesday, after leaving for work at 5am, and not getting home until 7pm.
10. Being a good dad is a priority to him. Like having a successful career. And being financially stable. And ensuring that his wife has money for cute shoes. Being a good dad to his boys is something he consciously focuses on. It’s on his agenda every day. Not just on Saturday morning when he’s on the sidelines. Not just when he’s “babysitting” while I take photos. Always.