The new year is always a time for reflection and goal setting.
I’m not much of a New Year resolution-ist anymore.
I used to be, but I guess I just got tired of failing. I think most of us can agree that 99% of our inability to achieve something is our own fault.
We start off wrong, we don’t follow through, our process is faulty, or we don’t finish strong. Something, usually something we have ultimate control over, gets in the way and causes us to come up short on the things we want in life.
So, I’ve decided to get out of my own way.
Instead of arbitrary resolutions I have no game plan for or true intention of achieving, I’ve decided to set realistic, achievable goals.
The kind that I write in my journal with actionable steps (you guys, I have a numbered list!) for achievement.
And they are small.
No “I will lose 30lbs this year” proclamations for this girl (because we both know I am more likely to actually gain 30lbs). I focus on little changes that I can make easily to lead to a more focused, developed, happier lifestyle.
So, in order to hold myself accountable, here are mine for 2018:
I will go to the gym 3 times per week. No pressure to lose a pound, just a commitment to more movement. I looked up the class schedule at both of the gyms I attend and I scheduled three visits each week into my Google calendar. Meetings, appointments, everything has been scheduled around those.
I will spend one work day per month on professional development. Being self-employed, it’s an area of my business that I have neglected for years –it’s hard to step away from deadlines for the sake of increasing your knowledge and bettering your practice. But, it’s also a necessity if you want to avoid stagnation. So, I have a list of course I plan to take this year and added paying for them into my current budget.
I will only volunteer for things I feel passionate about. Which is code for I will learn to say no more. I have made a list of the pro-bono blog partners I want to keep in 2018 (hey, hey St. Jude!), and won’t be doing kickstarter campaigns or other promotional favors. I find that they exhaust me and prevent me from doing top work in other areas of my business.
Three things, born from my reflections on 2017, that I am hopeful will help me live a more productive, joyful, centered, and healthy new year.
Want to get out of your own way too?
New Year, New You: 10 Things Every Mom Must Do in 2018
Learn to say no.
With conviction. Without guilt. Because it’s an important skill that not only keeps us safe and happy, but teaches our children that we are not here for others to have their ways with us. We are masters of our own universes and no one can make us do anything we don’t want to do. Except for your mom.
Teach your children to say it too.
That doesn’t mean allow them to be defiant –no one likes defiant kids. But, allow them to be safely in control of their own bodies. It does not mean they never have to eat vegetables or wear a coat in the winter –those things aren’t safe. It means it’s cool for them to say they’re full before their plates are cleaned (you probably gave them too much anyway), and it’s okay to wear the not-itchy sweater to school instead of the itchy (and ugly) one grandma gave them. They should know that no one has a right to their bodies and minds except for them, and that even means your mom.
Stop feeling guilty.
Save some money.
Daily, weekly, monthly. For a long term goal or just because you really want to buy yourself some bitcoin. There is really no wrong reason to save money. And, when something comes along that can truly improve or enhance your life in some way, you’ll be able, at least financially, to take advantage of it (and yes, that means buying bitcoins if that’s your jam).
Take care of your body.
Give yourself a break.
Stop stressing about things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of life. Like if your bathroom is spotless before your mother in law comes for a visit. If she cares about that, she probably doesn’t care about you like she should and your clean bathroom ain’t about to change that.
And, treat yo’ self.
Because you deserve it.
Try something new.
A new gym class, a new hobby, a new hotel at your annual vacation destination. I know, change is hard and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but you may find that the new thing is just as amazeballs as the old thing. So, just switch it up a little and give yourself an opportunity to fall in love with something again.
Say Adios to Toxic People.
You know, the ones with the drama and the hate and the inability to see anything but their own point of view. Don’t think about how you will look if you unfriend them on Facebook or how awkward it will be when you run into them at the grocery store. Just, cut. Them. Off. For your own well being, and maybe there’s too.
Because no one else can kill that jam quite like you can. Don’t let other people’s thoughts or opinions color who you are or change how you’re living (unless you’re living dirty and then maybe, you know, think about making some changes).