I’ve been struggling lately with giving you guys interesting things to read.
Not because I don’t have ideas, I have plenty of ideas. It’s time I’m struggling with. Lately, I just don’t have time to focus my ideas to create engaging stuff people actually want to read.
Just work, and kids stuff, and more work, and more kid stuff, and cookies.
Some evil children came by here and conned me into buying boxes and boxes of Girl Scout cookies last week and they’re getting in the way of my creative process. I’m sure of it.
What I should be doing all day…
What I’m doing instead…
Anyway.
I mentioned my struggle to Dude 3 when we were driving home from basketball practice last night and he told me I should just write a story. A story about a boy and his dog who ride sharks and hunt bad guys.
Being the very unimaginative person that I am, I informed him that my ability to do such was virtually nonexistent. I know nothing of sharks and bad guy hunting. Thankfully, he vowed to complete the tale for me at a later date. All of you should stay tuned.
In the meantime, he also suggested that I instead fill a blog post with tips for moms who want to be good moms like me. Parenting is something I know lot about, but what makes me good at it to him may not be what makes me good at it to me. For example, the requirement that he cleans up behind himself is top of my how-to-mom-right handbook, but for him, I’m thinking it comes in really close to the bottom of his things-that-make-me-awesome list.
After I got all teary eyed and hugged him until he squeaked, I asked him for his assistance with this assignment as well. No one ever asks kids about parenting –what they appreciate, what they wish, what makes them feel loved. We all just assume that they won’t understand why we grown ups do what we do and that they will only like the fun stuff.
Wrong again old people. Wrong again.
Kids have parenting figured out too and they can actually help us be better at it. All we have to do is listen.
Parenting: 12 Things Good Moms Do According to the Son of a Good Mom
1. Be good role models.
Your kids won’t know how to do good things if you don’t do good things. Or they will see you doing bad things like smoking and littering and jay walking and then they will think it’s okay to do that stuff too.
2. Make your kids eat healthy things even if they’re gross.
They will probably hate them still but they will be strong and healthy. Kids want to be able to run fast and healthy food makes you have strong muscles and bones so you can run faster.
3. Take care of kids when they’re sick.
Sometimes you will have to clean poop and barf and even though you will gag and want to throw up too you will not be mad.
4. Teach your kids to have good manners even when they are in places where zero percent of the people have good manners.
Like sometimes, when you go places where everyone is being crazy and not following the rules or having good manners, you will want to act that way too, but you can’t. You have to keep having good manners no matter what the other people around you are doing.
5. Make sure your kids are good students.
They should try to get As and you should help them by telling them to do their homework.
6. Give your kids confidence by telling them they are awesome.
They won’t think they’re awesome if you don’t keep saying it and making them believe it everyday.
7. Tell your kid you love them all the time.
Even when they’re bad and you want to yell at them. You can yell at them, but then you have to still say it so they know you mean it.
8. Spend time with your kid doing stuff they think is fun.
You can play Minecraft or play them in a basketball game. And you never know you might actually be good at some of that stuff and your kid will think it is so awesome.
9. Don’t let your kid raise their voice at you.
Or say bad words. Or not listen.
10. Don’t let your kid be wild.
No one likes being around those wild kids who just run crazy and break things and jump all over the place. I know some kids can’t help it. Like some kids are different and they can’t really control their behaviors. But, some parents just don’t even try to teach them. Don’t be one of those moms. Be a mom who tries to teach your kids how to keep it cool and just be normal and good and stuff. Then other kids and other grown ups will want you around all the time.
11. Give your kids respect.
They’re people too even though they’re not grown up people. They want to have respect too.
12. Don’t embarrass your kids.
Sometimes you will embarrass them and you won’t really mean to and that’s okay, but don’t try to embarrass them by saying embarrassing things in front of their friends to make them feel bad.
The un-official Guide to Parenting has been written, do with it what you will.
Perhaps we ought to keep #6 in check a bit…
Instead of just telling them they are awesome – give your children opportunities to *be awesome*.
Kids are smart and know when you are being condescending. They will compare your words to their actions and abilities … developing a sense of themselves that may not be in alignment with reality.
Giving them opportunities to success and thus “earn” the moniker of “awesome” is how you build character and genuine self confidence.
They appreciate it more than the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality.
Totally not a concern. We only celebrate their real successes. Teach them about goal setting and achieving and such. We don’t believe in everyone gets a trophy -we believe in hard work pays off. The thing he’s talking about is general confidence. Not just in terms of things they’re doing, but in terms of understanding that they are awesome people who are kind and loving and worth being cared for. He likes that I tell him daily that I like him and I think he’s fun to be around and that he makes good choices and is good to his brothers. He likes that we tell him that he can do anything he sets his mind to and that we believe in him and want him to believe in himself. That’s what he means by awesome. He’s actually 8, his ability to describe it is pretty good for an 8 year old and maybe not as good for a grownup. :)
Um….this was a fabulous post and it came about probably because you were being a good mom! I love it!
This is very sweet! He had a lot of insightful things to say. How rewarding to know that someone’s listening when you parent!
This Dude is a gem. A gem I tell you! Love it.