Sitting on the airplane is pretty much the only time I have to peruse fashion magazines.
Like in the olden days.
I used to love sitting in my room, as a teen, or at the nail salon, pre-kids (when I had time and money for bi-monthly mani-pedis) flipping through those glossy pages looking at the creative spreads put together by people who love what they do.
Even if I couldn’t afford a single thing.
Even if I couldn’t relate to anyone featured (never have and never will be that tall, skinny, rich, famous, or self assured).
And, even if page after page I sat there silently screaming in my brain, “WHAT IS SHE WEARING?!”
I still totally enjoy and respect the art of high fashion. I just have less time to look at magazines and appreciate it now, especially since it’s just not even remotely functional in my current manifestation of life.
And, y’all know me, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it eleven billionty times, functional fashion is what’s up.
I need clothing that covers up the wiggly jiggly makes me look good and allows me to also show up at football practice and not get the side eye from the other moms. Or the dads. Or my own kids.
I will always find the things I see in magazines entertaining and inspirational, but as long as I am living as a normal sized human with a normal sized budget, and a normal sized lifestyle, I will have to admire them from afar, and ignore most of them as I forge my own functionally fashionable path.
Now, before I show you a couple of my not so favorite fashion picks for the season (and one I most definitely love), super quick product plug from my sponsor Dryel: There was a time in my not-too-long-ago past when functional meant can-quickly-be-thrown-in-the-laundry-without-being-shrunk-to-baby-onesie-size. A time when, if it had to be dry cleaned, hand washed, or hung to dry, I’d say burn it it’s just not a good fit. Dryel, the makers of the easy to use dry-clean-at-home-like-a-bizzous product, has changed the quality garment game for everyday, on-the-go women. It allows you to wear what you like and still save time and money because you can keep it fresh and clean at home. So, don’t burn that silk blouse your mom gave you for Xmas, let Dryel hook it up.
3 Spring 2015 Fashion Trends I Won’t be Rocking & 1 I Most Definitely Will
Three I’ll skip…
Round glasses. Round face. A match made in super villain heaven. I don’t wanna look like a super villain y’all. I’m a heroine. But if you’re digging it (aka not the owner of a honeydew melon head)…
Leith ‘Penelope’ Tortoise’ Round Sunglasses • $34 Elizabeth and James Ainsworth Sunglasses • $57 Leith ‘Lennon’ 50mm Round Sunglasses • $34 Leith Round Sunglasses • $34 Both Worlds Round Sunglasses • $18 Tildon 60mm Round Sunglasses • $34
Platform sandals. Been there, done that, circa 1992. Sadly, at this point in life these hips are too wide to balance out that level of foot crazy. Also, they seem comfortable in theory, but based on experience, they just aren’t.
Topshop ‘Fate’ Double Band Platform Sandal• $70 Steve Madden ‘Surfside’ Platform Sandal • $79.95 Clarks Artisan Lydie Hala Flat Sandals • $90 Teva ‘Universal’ Flatform Sandal • $49.95 Topshop ‘Folly’ Strappy Platform Sandal • $65 MTNG Originals ‘Amber’ Platform Sandal • $79.95
Culottes. Nothing is new anymore, I swear it. I used to hardcore rock the culottes as a youth. With jellys, and those plastic bracelets you could interlock all the way up to your elbow. And a Rainbow Bright shirt. Killin’ it. Now, I’m too chunky to be taken seriously in wide leg short pants. I’d look like a toddler. A very poorly dressed, pot-bellied toddler. Hard pass on that awesome.
One to try…
Block heels. Another do over trend, but this one I can see bringing back for another go in my mom life So many cute styles. And, I don’t know about you, but I’m happy to say peace out to the pointy toes and stiletto heels. My feet hated those trends passionately.
Women’s Block-Heel Sandals • $32.94 Contrast Colour Way Block Heel Sandals • $60 Beth Cut Work Side Block Heel Court • $26 Cross-over leather strap sandals • $75 Ivanka Trump Sassoni Block Heel Sandal • $42 Leather Block-Heel Sandals • $39.99 Chinese Laundry Janella Block Heels • $49.99 Enzo Angiolini ‘Gabele’ Block Heel Sandal • $79.90
*I am a Dryel ambassador and am compensated for my work with them. They don’t tell me what to like when it comes to fashion trends, that’s all me, baby!