Thank Me Later: How to Parent Like Drake (Drake Lyrics for Moms)

My parenting style has grown and changed quite a bit over the years.

I did the crunchy mom thing and the helicopter mom thing. I dabbled in the free range realm a bit (not fully, never fully), and have gone hard-line mom from time to time as they’ve begun to approach the you-wanna-test-me teen years.

I feel like I do pretty well –they are open and honest with me, we have a good relationship built on love and trust and mutual respect, and two of them are still down for cuddle time multiple times a week. Don’t tell, but even the big one gets in there sometimes.

Every now and then, though life needs a shake up.

To keep them guessing. Keep them on their toes. So they don’t think I’m sleeping.

Because I’m not. In fact, I rarely.

But that’s another post.

Anyway, from time to time, I like to try new things on them. Like when we went gluten free to see if it helped with Dude 2’s cyclical vomiting (yes friends, it is as foul and as horrifying as it sounds). Or that one time, I decided we’d go all summer without planning a single thing , like an unschooling free range forest family of sorts (guess what? Some kids require organization and a schedule for sanity, particularly those diagnosed with OCD.).

Look, I don’t always get it right, but it really can’t hurt to try.

I figured it was time for something new. Something funky, something fresh –two things go together like macaroni and cheese.

And, who better to inspire a new funky fresh, macaroni and cheese way of life than Drake.

Yes, that Drake.

via GIPHY

I call it Drake-onian Parenting.

Inspired by his lyrical teachings, adapted to the parenting game by yours truly.

I put it to work for an entire day with The Dudes and I have to admit, there was a lot of this….

Which, naturally, I’ve attributed to the haters gonna hate syndrome.

Because all in all, I feel like we all had a valuable experience wherein they learned that I probably have a legit future in the rap game and Drake is really about more than terrible dance moves and corny memes, and I learned a few things too.

Dude 1 barely noticed. But, he lives that headphones life so he probably only heard about 6 things I said that day anyway which proves that those headphones we invested in are a total win.

Dude 3 was excited because of all of my rhyming, “You rhymed! Ooooh, you rhymed again!” Proof that I am his favorite and always will be.

And, Dude 2, my hip hop head, figured me out before he even left for school that morning, “Stop lining (what grownups call quoting) Drake please.” I fist bumped him for being such a music lover but, I did not oblige, forcing him to endure, no, enjoy my quote fest after school, during homework, while we drove to the soccer field, and even at bedtime.

It was a great day full of personal creativity (I mean, you try making the clean version of Drake lyrics work for a full day of life) and unanticipated learning (I swear I didn’t know he as saying Halloween at the beginning of Jumpman, in fact, I thought he was saying Halle Berry –go figure).

Want to parent like Drake? Here are 10 times it could work for you too!

Drake-onian Parenting: Drake Lyrics You Can Use to Be a Better Parent

When mornings are crazy hard.

Kid: I’m too tired. I don’t want to get up. It’s hard.

Me/Drake: I wake up on a daily basis.

When they suck at doing chores.

Me: Why didn’t put the dishes away? Or finish your homework? Or put your ball in the garage.

Kid: Ugh, I forgot, ok? I just forgot. It as a mistake.

Me/Drake: I make mistakes that I don’t ever make excuses for.

When they questioned my appearance

Kid: What are you wearing?

Me/Drake: Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on.

When they want to know if they’re still grounded

Kid: Am I still not allowed to use my phone?

Me/Drake: Don’t Michael Jordan still got his hoop earring in?

When they doubt my skills on the dance floor (aka the kitchen)

Kid: You can not dance like that (shows you a Musical.ly)

Me/Drake: *Laces up sneakers* You underestimate greatly.

When they act like they’re about to eat the last donut

Kid: I’m getting the last donut.

Me/Drake: *Runs into kitchen and licks the top of aforementioned last donut* I’m always the first one to get it, man that’s how you lead by example.

When they are in trying to explain why the didn’t turn in their homework

Kid: I did turn it in. I just turned it in late.

Me/Drake: Better late than never but never late is better.

When they want to race you in Mario Kart

Kid: Oh, you want to play? I’m gonna win again.

Me/Drake: Think before you come for the great one.

When you’re late getting home from work

Kid: Where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?

Me/Drake: Just too busy running [things] to run home to ya.

When you break up a fight and they’re all blaming each other

Kid: He did it!

Other kid: He’s lying, he did it!

Me/Drake: Everybody talks and everybody listen, but somehow the truth just always comes up missing.