Didya see it yet?!
My smashingly awesome reality show debut (and finale as the producers of TLC’s What NOT to Wear strangely did not fall head over heels in love with my mom-awesome personality and grant me my own show wherein I school less perfect mamas to up their awesome to match my own. Dammit.)?!
I’m gonna go ahead and let you know that I wrote this post prior to actually seeing the show myself.
So, don’t expect a ton of behind-the-scenes-E!-True-Hollywood dirt on the lack-of-reality-in-the-reality-of-a-reality show or the skinny on Stacy and Clinton’s gnarly bits (no, I didn’t see them and I’m guessing that’s because those two gorgeous people really just don’t have them).
I wanted to compose this post pre-show so that I could show you all the photos I was previously forbidden
by the Geneva convention of reality TV who threatened to end me and my evil photo sharing ways from showing. I did it before hiding in the back of a bar wasted on vodka and red bull while NOT watching my train wreck TV debut seeing the show because I didn’t want to be tempted to fall into a ton of clichés.
I don’t want to sit here and tell you all of the things they made me say or edited to make it look like I said them.
I don’t want to complain about how my comments were taken out of context or without consideration for extenuating circumstances.
I don’t want to tell you about how they made me cry (although anyone who can not cry when two of the handsomest people on the planet are telling you what a sack of ugly you are is dead inside, completely), I’m not egotistical enough to think that my acting skills are such that I can ugly cry on command (note to the producers of The Vampire Diaries: should you consider me for a small part opposite Ian Somerhalder that allows me
to tongue kiss him briefly interact with him on screen I’m 110% certain I can recreate said ugly cry on demand and may even be able to add a little please-don’t-drain-me-dry-you- insanely-hot-and-sexy-vampire-scary-murderous-vampire fear on it too. Just sayin’).
pretending to be a grown up and I knew what I was getting into when I signed on the we’re-gonna-follow-you-around-with-a-camera-and-ask-you-intimate-body-image-questions-that-make-you-sweat-before-we-make-you-fabulous dotted line.
So, look at the photos (blame the blurry on the person taking them; you know I would never!), and feel free to share your thoughts on the show (if you watched).
Seriously, my sweater looks like barf.
Ted worked his man magic on my hair…
And, no, I’ve never been able to get it quite this big again. Sorry, Ted:(
Then, Carmindy hooked me up…
They loved me, I just know it!
And so did they crew. I’m sure they are all thinking about how
socially awkward awesomely fun I was…
As are these two, especially since I got Clinton to do his Blue Steel face for me. Pretty good, right?!…
Want more? I’m sure the What NOT to Wear site will have video and shopping lists and all the fun stuff I’m too
lazy tired to post links to here!
And, if you are someone who really just doesn’t give a care, that’s totally fine too. Just leave your Wordful Wednesday links and Angie and I will enjoy!